A Night At The Wonka Motel With Fez From ‘That 70s Show’
- Hashtag Kalakar
- Sep 18
- 1 min read
By Diana Matusewic
I am alone on the couch
That resembles a small boat
Lost in the dark,
While holding a bottle
Too full to throw out.
I ignore the glowing box
Floating in front of me
Until a shirtless Fez appears.
I slur the chorus from “Brown Sugar,”
Under my breath.
The laughter from the show
Reverberates with the song,
Carrying me away with current…
When the love seat
Washes on shore
A pair of eyes appear
Above my shoulders
Staring at the candy on my lap
In the “Eat Me” wrapper,
A Cheshire grin emerges,
“Ooh La La, I am Fez”
He says before darting
For the sweets.
After a swig
From the flask
I shrink,
And fall
Between the cushion seats,
His eyes and smirk follow me,
We land on a kitchen counter…
A ginger bread body
Appears with his face
As he is placed on a greased
Cookie sheet.
My breasts become
Perfectly scooped mounds
Of vanilla ice cream
With glossy cherries
Protruding stem tassels.
My body
Is pressed against his,
Fresh from the oven.
A thick cloud
Of steam comes
Between us…
The fog fades,
We are Adam and Eve
At Wonka’s Factory
Under the gummy tree.
“I like candy,” He says,
So I pluck a giant red bear
From a branch above my head.
As I hand him my gift,
I sense a serpent Lurking in the bush,
I’m flushed
When he shoots
His venom frosting…
As the babbling brook
Bursts into a waterfall
My eyelids flap open
To the static on TV
And the bottle
Ejaculating Sangria
On my lap.
By Diana Matusewic

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