A Letter To My Younger Self

By Shreya Dnyanesh Wakate

Dear me,

First and foremost thing is always remember that you are strong and beautiful, I mean if you look at yourself you will think ,“Oh, I’m not strong compared to those other kids in my class” and you might take the meaning of strength in physical terms but as you grow older you will realize that by strength I mean emotional strength. You might laugh at my choice of words, but trust me it takes a lot of courage and emotional strength to get up everyday , face another hectic day where you are not even sure what good or bad things are coming your way. But that’s what life is, isn’t it?

     People keep telling you that you are sensitive, you take things personally but here’s the thing you are not sensitive you just feel things deeply. I know you hate yourself because you are pretty plain and boring, but what’s wrong with being plain and boring? You think you don’t fit in when you are with your friends but the older you get you will realize  that peace exists in solitude. You don’t have to fit in, if you want other’s to love you start loving yourself first. I read a quote that said, “Confidence should be born from within , if you build it on compliments it will shatter with criticism”. It is such a beautiful statement, reading the quote made me realize that I always relied on other people’s opinions be it my family or my friends. You keep thinking I look good only if my friends compliment me if they don’t your outfit is not pretty. How about this you rather start thinking this way, “Oh, I like the colour of my outfit, it actually suits me and who cares about other people’s opinions?”  This reminds of a beautiful theory that I recently came across which is called ‘The Let them theory’. It states that “ If people criticize you let them, if they are being rude to you let them, if they hate you let them because other people’s beliefs and actions are not under our control.” This shift in your thoughts will actually inculcate a belief in yourself. Start being comfortable in your skin, it will actually make you feel good about yourself.

      You are never going to stay the same. You will keep evolving and these changes that you are going to make in yourself will come with a cost. By cost I mean you will lose friends or I’d rather say outgrow them . Start normalizing outgrowing people, that doesn’t mean you have to hold any hatred towards them just because they did you wrong. It just means your and their thoughts don’t align together anymore , respect that and move on. I know moving on seems hard and it is but the things that are not meant for you will never stay in your life. Everything and everybody is going to have a last day in your life and you will not even know when that last day will be. Cherish every moment that you spend with your family and friends maybe you will not even have the time to say goodbye. That girl who was your best friend started hanging out with other girls because she thought you were boring , it hurts to be replaced I know but always remember, “Betrayal is a part of life”. 

         That one girl who you befriended because you thought she was a good person but she didn’t want to be your friend but she wanted to be you. You started getting hate for setting boundaries,  that’s normal. People start thinking of you as a bad person when they  can’t take advantage of you because they are so used to your old selfless behaviour that they can’t digest the fact that you have started putting your needs first. Always remember setting boundaries or putting your needs first doesn’t mean that you are selfish, it just means you are choosing peace over chaos. People like seeing your downfall, with success comes hatred and you are going to meet such people throughout your life , remember even your closed ones will start hating you when they see you doing better than them. The strength lies in not being bothered by them and staying focused on your goals. Apparently not being bothered by people actually bothers them.

        That one boy who you fell hard for , who left you to be with a beautiful girl and you keep thinking that , “Obviously, why would he choose me over that absolutely stunning girl?” I know it is going to stir a lot of insecurities inside you but one thing I want to let you know that the right one will never leave you. External beauty will fade one day but nobody can change what lies within you. You will weep and weep over a boy who broke your heart but you will get over him overtime. First love is beautiful and fragile, it teaches you how far you can go for love, it tells you how capable you are of deeply loving someone. I have heard people say, “ You never really get over your first love”. But I completely disagree,  you do get over your first love when you realize somethings need to be left behind.  One thing is true though you never stop loving that person , he will always hold a place in your heart. Because that person taught you the meaning of love. You are definitely going to find someone who will reciprocate your love with the same depth.

      In the end, I would just like to tell you that, You have a pure heart don’t let people tell you otherwise and your future self is very proud of you.

  With love,

     Your Future self.

By Shreya Dnyanesh Wakate