Love

By Mahima. S

I ought to be cursed, to be the most unlovable creature to roam this planet. What did I do to deserve this? Someone who loves me and truly cares about me, is that too much to ask for? I want to feel the warmth of another person too, just like everyone else. I want to be held tight, knowing I won’t be let down. 

I change every part of my being, to make them love me. If they can’t love me for who I am, I’ll just change myself. I’ll craft myself to be the object of their affection. But, nothing I do is ever enough. I’m afraid the problem is my soul. The very essence of me. 

Love. It has always been a luxury that I can never afford. I watch through a foggy window, with my fingertips staining the glass, everyone getting the things I want. I don’t envy them. But rather feel betrayed. 

I feel like I’m running in a race I’m not qualified for I’m falling behind everyone. I want to catch up, but I’m already running as fast as my legs could take me. I can neither give up nor win. I can feel everyone’s eyes on me. Scrutinizing my every move. I’m stuck running meaningless laps towards nothing for eternity. Nothing to prove. Nothing to get. 

Oh, to have someone bring you water and cheer for you even though everyone knows you’re losing. True unconditional love. At the end of the day, I’m only human after all. No matter how strong I pretend to be, I will always crave the gentle touch of my lover. Whom I can show my vulnerability to. A shoulder to cry on. 

No matter how we are during the day, when the sun goes down, we all want to return to our home. And that “home” is not a place but rather a person you cherish. Not everyone are fortunate enough to have it, but we all crave it. We desire love. The pure kind. That’s our nature. We humans are simple creatures. But who am I kidding? Love is something I can only dream of.

 But, don’t we all dream impossible things?

By Mahima. S