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By Namrata Sarkar

Lying in my mother’s arms would protect me from the blizzards that I did not even feel. Devouring every slice of the apple brought with “only love” in a minute as they came in. Every wet kiss planted on my face when I least expected it. The smile I received to every “sorry” that I ever spilled. The tears that she noticed even before they made their way to the floor beneath.

Home was always in her soft palms against my cheeks. Home was when I was young, tucked in the warmth of her wings, fast asleep.

Home was when we shared the same language. Home was before she stopped seeing me.

We share laughters. We even share a building. But now, it’s all concrete.

‘Sometimes when I looked for you, I counted the patterned bricks on the wall which were raised in between. But I would lose my attention only to do it repeatedly. I never finished counting.’

Home? Have you known a home?

Holding my father’s pinkie finger while we marched to cross the street gave me all the strength I ever needed. Standing on his feet and him walking me around the house was the only time I didn’t trip over and fall to my misery. That one thing I would glance at the store would lie at my bedside table the next evening. The smile I received to every “I want this” that I ever spilled. Every pat on the back for the tiniest bit of job I ever did.

Home was always in his tight hugs against my small body. Home was when I was young, sitting on his armed shoulders, ready to conquer the realm I lived in.

Home was when we shared our silences wholeheartedly. Home was before he stopped looking for the little girl within me.

We share laughters. We even share our ride back to the building. But now, it’s all fleeting.

‘Sometimes when I looked for you, I hunted for your odour in the roads we once travelled in. But my senses would betray me only for me to do it recurrently. I never reached home safely.’

Home? Have you known a home?

Where every laughter would echo within. Where time could pause and you wouldn’t care a bit.

Where you learnt to love, where you learnt to give.

Where your heart could beat. Where your heart could be.

Home? I did know a home. I was happy.

By Namrata Sarkar