Envy

By Aishu Rittika

I envy those 

Who can sleep through the nights

Who can just hit the bed

And fall asleep

Just like that!

I tire myself out

So much.

So much,

That my body begs me

To stop

Yet the nights,

I cannot

I cannot just sleep.

How I wake up

In the middle of the nights

Breathless

And frantically looking

Looking for what noise that was

Looking for someone

Who would hold me, hug me

How I mumble

And struggle around

Like a fish pulled

Out of water

Muttering words

And drooling all over

From little bits of dreams

I can't remember.

It's scary

The nights.

I don't want the nights

Let me just live in the day

So I'll only have to battle

The known ghosts of my mind

For these

Haunted memories

Of the night light

Don't take me

Into their embrace.

By Aishu Rittika