Baby

By Marisol Aguilar

Like a baby. I wish I could sleep forever, eat as much as I like, stare at the most random things.

But wait..

I do that already. I’m a bum, though I’m not proud. I learned many things.

For one..

I miss the pointless conversations with others, laughing, even the weird eye contact.  

I miss the breeze, the sun, the bugs, the nature, the beauty of this messed up world we call home. 

I miss the long car drives. Just to walk around and admire the material things I could never afford.

I miss the warmth of family even if I now realize it was fake, and for reasons that can’t be mentioned. 

I miss those stupid crushes, the ones I’m embarrassed to talk about. 

I miss the opportunities I would get for seeming ‘special’ for something. 

Though I miss many things. 

I am grateful for,

This bed.

My food.

My silence. 

My home.

My family.

My pets.

My misery.

My foolishness of hope.

My endless linger wanting space. 

Though I’m not a baby, I am one in an adult body. Maybe I haven’t grown at all and just look like everyone else.  

By Marisol Aguilar