We Should Learn From Children Not Teach Them !!!

By Dinny

Once, some parents went to a guru to seek advice about their child who wouldn’t listen to them. They said,

“We’ve tried everything, Guruji. We’ve scolded him, we’ve beaten him, we’ve even given him gifts for good behavior — but nothing seems to work.”

The guru listened quietly without saying a word. After a moment, he asked the parents and the child to accompany him outside.

They followed him to the garden, where a beautiful rose plant was in full bloom. It had many lovely flowers.

The guru went near the plant and began speaking to it:

“Why can’t you be like the jasmine? How many times have I told you that jasmine flowers are more beautiful than you? You’re ugly and no good!”

The parents looked at him in confusion.

Then the guru turned to them and said,

“See, this rose plant doesn’t listen to me at all. It certainly needs to be taught a lesson.”

Saying that, he picked up a stick and started hitting the rose plant.

The shocked parents shouted, “Stop! Please stop, Guruji! We understand what you are trying to say.”

But the guru said calmly,

“Wait — there’s more.”

He went inside and returned with a bucket of water. Then he poured the entire bucket over the plant. The moment he did, the plant got uprooted and fell over.

The guru looked at the parents and said,

“What is it that you’re really trying to teach your children? In truth, it’s you who must learn from them — how to be playful, how to be joyful, how to be free.”

He continued,

“You are playing the game of the carrot and the stick — rewarding and punishing. That is not the way. Take the middle path. Let your children be their true, authentic selves. When they grow into teenagers, be a friend to them, not a cruel parent who punishes or bribes them. The more you punish them, the more they’ll hide things from you. The more you reward them, the more they’ll expect rewards next time — and that will become a habit.”

He paused and said,

“We are all unique in our own way, and we must embrace that uniqueness. Accept your children as they are. From childhood itself, we teach them comparison — telling them that someone else’s child is better. And so they spend their lives trying to prove their worth. But why should they? You brought them into this world. They don’t need to earn your love.”

Finally, the guru said,

“Remember — comparison is the thief of joy. Let your children be whoever they want to be.

I’m not saying you should turn a blind eye when your child does something morally wrong. If they hurt or bully someone, make them take responsibility — even bow down and apologize to the one they hurt. That way, they learn compassion, accountability, and humility.

Teach them to love themselves and others, to be kind and authentic. That is real parenting.”

By Dinny