Wandering Thoughts

By Plaksha Srivastava

I look at him and my thoughts start to wander- the pending assignments, the unrequited friendships, the lovelorn, the pleasant and mostly, unpleasant memories. The past, present and future- each fighting for their rightful space in my mind. When the past wins, I go into the continuous spiral of what-could-have-beens and if-onlys and what-ifs. The present's triumph leaves me with a fight of its own- to crib for what I don't have or to cherish for all that I have? The future's win is the naughtiest of all- makes me nervous to the point where I abandon the whole wandering and question - How did I even end up wandering? Oh, the epiphany. I was wandering because my earphones died. I mean not in the way our souls die and I certainly do not mean something like the tragic death of empathy in IR or humanity, in general. My earphone's battery ran out. No songs lead to no streamlining of my thoughts which left me with no other option than to wander. That's rare though- not the wandering part, I do that often; the earphones dying part. I take care of my earphones charging more than I take care of my health (that's sad, I know). See, I got distracted again. I was looking at him- he who is whole and lustrous, just for me. So, I look at him and I know I am not alone. I really never am. I have him- shining bright always, sometimes crescent, sometimes gibbous. Even when he is not there, he is there, reassuring I am not alone. So, as I look at him, the Moon, my wandering mind finds a stillness, a calmness that I so craved and more importantly, deserved. I look at him and he whispers- forever is a myth; every veteran was once a beginner; surviving alone is your forte; do not take everything so seriously; there are better problems to focus on. Basically, all the things I wanted to hear at the moment. Was it him or was it my mind echoing everything I wanted to hear? Nevertheless, I kept looking at him and he kept whispering till I could no longer keep my eyes open. Next morning (ideally), I waited till night for him. He came, again (see, he came, humans don't lol). My earphones weren't charged, again (intentionally this time?). I looked at him-my thoughts started doing the one they are good at- wandering.

By Plaksha Srivastava