Tortured Heart

By Samvritha Sudhakar

Rustled, fussed… my thoughts were all mused. My mind is a dark black canvas, deepening as it is endlessly stretched. It hollows and swirls and sucks in my conscious and traps it in a cell and bolts with pitch black. UTTER PITCH DARKNESS. That’s what seems to embody my mind, until words echo in what I imagine are my ears over and over again chanting the same thing; ït was not my fault. I have no reason to be here”. And my mind dissolves and drowns in the muttering yet loud volume of my thoughts.

Tick-a-tick-badum-badum-tick-a-tick-badum-badum. My eyes flash open to the rattling noise of the metal wall outside me. My singular hard pillow is soaked in pool of sweat that rained down from the temples. My heart is pounding as if in an effort of escaping the ribcage prisoning it. My fingers reach to rub my green eyes as they tug at the dust stuck in my long eyelashes. My hands that look like what humans once called “sticks” stretch to pull the rough and torn sheets off my legs to let goosebumps crawl across my skin. The redness and itch that tugged at every inch of my body was dissolved by the melting hope in my heart. Years of torture zipped in the depths of my hollow eyes, revealing the thoughts I urge to forget and reminding me of the pain I had to endure… the agony I am on it right now.

My mood shifted, as my palms trace the scars and gashes that are embroided on the layer that now barely protects my muscles and bones. IT WAS NOT MY FAULT! HOW DARE THEY PRISON ME, TORTURE ME AND SHATTER ME FOR A CRIME I NEVER COMMITED? Just to cover up their criminal acts – how could they? My blood is boiling with rage, a fire ignites in my veins, my breaths heave, my chest rises and falls. An incontrollable and unfathomable wild energy gets ahead of me. I rip off the rattling metal part of the spaceship and Bang! I fling it on the floor. At least the sound of that covers up the grumbling of my stomach, empty without proper food for 214 days.

I force my eyeballs to drift at the window on the other side of me. One step, I take, and another towards what I perceived as the gateway to heaven. Tears are now a waterfall, leading my path. I take a sharp intake of breath as I glance yet again at the serene blue of Mother Earth. The rich hues of my home still blind my eyes; the view is not something anyone can get used to so easily. Tears that fall from my eyes feel like blood flowing like a river down my cheeks.

I bend down and reach towards the metal plate that landed next to my swollen foot. A chill climbed my bones, it is cold… but not colder than my empty, hopeless life. I bring the plate to my throat as I gulped down my anger, agony and sorrow. I steal a glance at my planet – my home yet once more. Ëarth, My Dear Earth, come finch me”, these words escape from the deepest of my heart, before…

Drip…

Drip…

Drip… 

My blood covered the floor. The blood covered plate dropped to the floor. THUD! My corpse collapsed down, and my mind dived heart first into eternal darkness.

By Samvritha Sudhakar