To Love Another

By Janae Smyth

You say you can guide me through

But I don’t see how that can be true

Be there for me to better cope

But you know I can’t let go of that rope

Holding onto that lack of hope lingering in the candlelight

Shining on the darkest night a small flame ignites

You say you’re the man for me

Yet that possibility I cannot see

My eyes blind and lost at sea

If that see was my life’s path

I would be sinking in its deep wrath

Heavy walls blocking my sight

And something tells me I might be right

My eyelids won’t open in the joy of daylight

Candlelight refuses to warm my soul

It prefers the destruction of a raging bushfire

One that will only end in blackened coals

Your words are warm but I seem to prefer the cold

After the hellish fire till my chest is but an empty hole

My heart is shrunk to a mushy slop

Too chunky to be mopped

Too wet to be swept

So inside a cracked jar it’s kept

With the lid glued shut

Waiting for the day he decides to show up

And however hard I try I could never deny

That he’s the man in which my heart cries

Even until the day my heart is nigh

So I’m sorry to uncover

But I don’t think I could love another

I cannot lie nor could I refuse

No matter how hard I try he is still my muse

And yes a shoulder I could use

However my heart cannot start anew

He’s seen me grow and change

Been through the dark and strange

But this feeling I cannot waste

Not until I get a taste

I once told him his name rhymes with goodbye

But by the same design rhymes with hi

So hi hello to him please let me in

I dream of brighter days with him

In so many ways I think of him

He brings me back to the happiness of childhood

Back to the days of Sesame Street

If he’s the Cookie Monster I’m bound to be the last cookie he eats

And yes I may have lost my mind

It’s someplace else with him sharing a scotch to unwind

So it’s not fair to love another

Not when my love for him is undercover

By Janae Smyth