Throe

By Dhanishtha De

The day my heart felt nothing

When my ears heard some melody

My shadow grew bigger and mocked me

Internally, that was the first death of me

When my heart could not resonate with music

Music, the only thing that gave me peace

The inner me let out a silent cry

Every second of that felt like an eternity

Unable to stay afloat, I start sinking

Can’t see, say or hear a thing

To this breathless feeling I’ve started to give in

The day I couldn't think of a single lyric

The day I found the thing I loved the most, frustrating

I stopped thinking of myself as an artist

Everything music meant to me

I now see it shattering

Falling, breaking down, crumbling

As I write this with tears streaming

I can feel myself losing

Losing to everyone who doubted me

Even worse, I’m losing myself in this abyss

I feel like my life now has no meaning

The voices in my head have become deafening

With nothing good to say, every word being negative

I try to run away but they keep following

It started with just the lack of creativity

But in every area, the thorns are piercing

With nobody to go to, my heart is bleeding

To myself I whisper out ‘save me’

The only person who can save me is ‘I’

But now, that hero is no longer standing

By Dhanishtha De