This is a Short Story - By Doris Pushpam

Written By: Doris Pushpam

Category: Short Story

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

In the realm of the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026, Doris Pushpam presents a poignant narrative titled "This is a Short Story." This short story emanates from her vivid imagination and delves into the themes of love, loss, and introspection. It holds a mirror to the human condition, capturing the delicate emotions of a mother navigating the profound experience of loss. As we embark on this literary journey, her words resonate deeply, inviting readers to reflect on the themes she so elegantly explores.

About the Work

Doris Pushpam's short story is a masterful exploration of the emotional tapestry of motherhood and loss. Through vivid imagery and heartfelt introspection, she captures the essence of anticipation, love, and the profound grief of losing a child. The narrative's tone is intimate, drawing readers into the deep, personal reflections of the protagonist. It is a story that balances the vulnerability of human emotion with the enduring strength of love and memory.

This is a Short Story

Original Submission by Doris Pushpam

THIS IS A SHORT STORY

This is a short story. It is a story of something not being where it is supposed to be. It’s not because I misplaced it. I’m used to misplacing things, but I swear that this time I didn’t lose it. It was just there one day and then it wasn’t.

I felt her inside me before I even saw her on the doctor’s monitor. She looked like a speck of dust in the middle of a tornado. I couldn’t even find her before the doctor pointed her out. When she did, I couldn’t believe that something so small could mean so much to me. I stared at the photo of the little speck all the way home.

I pinned the photo to my fridge with my favourite fairy magnet. It was a fairy with lilac wings that wore a lavender crown, and I felt like it fitted the little speck. At that time I didn’t know I was having a little girl. I didn’t know for sure, but I had an inkling. I had an inkling that inside me there was a caterpillar which would one day turn into something beautiful.

For her I did everything I was told. I ate things that made me nauseated. I drank many different things that tasted like the colour green. It wasn’t a pleasant green. It tasted like the mud I had once eaten on a dare. It tasted like a swamp filled with mud and the acai berries in it didn’t make it taste any better. I stopped drinking coffee which was something I never thought would ever happen but I did it for fear that it would be bad for her. I was given glasses of different sizes with liquids of every colour but I didn’t question anything. I just took what I was given no matter how it smelled or tasted because it was for her.

Knowing she was with me everywhere I went changed a lot of things. I had always been clumsy but with her I became cautious. I didn’t take a step without being sure of my footing. I used to be annoyed at people who walked slowly on sidewalks, but I became that person. I used the zebra crossing where I would usually dash across. I wore looser clothes in case I suffocated her. It was stupid but I was vigilant for the first time in my life.

I told her stories about my life. We, my husband and I, would talk to her for hours though her ears probably weren’t developed yet. We sang to her albeit badly so she would recognize us when she eventually met us. I told her about the places we would take her and about the pretty dresses I had gotten her. My husband would always intervene to tell me that boys don’t wear dresses, but I think he knew that it was a girl too.

I felt her at every moment of every day. She became the best part of me. I loved her and by extension I loved myself. I never loved myself before her. I never loved anything or anyone the way I loved a little speck. I gave her my best. I gave her everything I had, my mind, my body and my heart. That is why I don’t understand what happened.

There was supposed to be a baby in me. A baby was supposed to be born but it wasn’t. I felt the moment I lost her. Not because of the blood that ran down my legs. Not because of the sudden pain in my gut. I felt it when I didn’t feel her anymore. She was there one moment listening to my bad singing and the next she was gone.

I don’t know what I did wrong but I can’t help but think that it is my fault that she isn’t here. Everyone tells me that it isn’t but there must have been something more I could have done. I was supposed to protect her. I failed. I lost her.

Do you know that I picked out a name for her? I told my husband that he could choose the name if it was a boy, but I knew it was a girl. My little speck would have been named Lila for the lilac on the fairy wings that she reminded me of. I dreamt about teaching her how to say her name and about showing her that lilac fairy. I dreamt of teaching her to write it down on her notebooks before I took her to school someday. Instead, all I have is her name inscribed on a gravestone next to a statue of a little fairy.

I told you it was a short story. It was barely a sentence. Her story ended before it even began. It’s been six years since the day I lost her. I am reminded every day of her when I look at my four-year-old. She wears Lila’s dresses and plays with Lila’s toys and I think of how they would have played together. I see her in everything. I sometimes wonder if she knew how much I loved her. I hope I showed her in that hundred days she was with me how much she meant to me. I see the fairy magnet that still holds up the only picture of her that I will ever have and I hope that somewhere up there, there is a little fairy named Lila with lilac wings waiting for me.

About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026, hosted by Hashtag Kalakar, is a prestigious event celebrating literary creativity. It gathers talented writers from around the world, offering them a platform to share their unique voices and stories. Participants engage with a global audience, contributing to the rich tapestry of contemporary literature. The competition is a testament to the enduring power of the written word and its ability to connect, inspire, and transform.

We extend our heartfelt thanks to Doris Pushpam for sharing "This is a Short Story" with us as part of the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. Her narrative offers a profound reflection on love and loss, resonating deeply with readers. Doris's contribution is a cherished addition to this year's competition, and we are grateful for her willingness to share such a personal and evocative story.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.