The Weight She Carries

By Amairah Sharma

After a long day at school, I sat in my bus holding my headphones eagerly, ready to rest my head on the side of the crusty window while listening to ‘every breath you take’ by the police. I took a glimpse of my whole bus, children screeching with excitement, teachers complaining about the headaches their students give them, seniors engrossed into their phones but there was one face that stood out. She was dull. Her face stripped off any happiness. Her eyes brimming with tears. This was my best friend. The girl who would laugh constantly for no reason, be the one to chatter amongst the silent crowd, basically the life of the party. 

My face deepened with concern and I rushed towards her before her emotions could explode. I repeatedly asked her what was wrong but each time I asked her, her face grew more and more horrified. I decided to give her some space, but when I moved, her shaky hand tightened around my wrist. 

‘A boy called me the w-word’.

She was in 8th grade. 

That’s all it took to open my eyes. 

Discrimination has been targeting every woman in every aspect of her life regardless of her age. 

In a school environment if a girl laughs too loud, she is called a ‘pick me’, a term coined to describe those who crave male attention. If a girl is alone with a boy or a group of boys she is given sickened glares. If a girl wears clothes too short, she is called unspeakable terms. If a girl roams around alone at night alone, she is prey to millions of predators. If a girl is harassed, she needs to stay quiet or else the ‘family reputation’ is ruined. If a girl fights back or speaks up for herself, she is being disrespectful. If a girl rejects a guy there is always a lingering fear in her heart. If a girl sits alone in a public bus she is given nasty looks. If a girl says ‘I love Taylor Swift’ she is belittled and laughed at.

Have you ever noticed commonly used insults in India? Most are directed at women. Mothers. Sisters. Their private body parts. 

During any event, the men are commonly seen to be sitting, chatting and laughing together. The women? They work in the kitchen, cooking to serve their husbands. But if she doesn’t do that, she is a ‘bad’ wife. She is rude. Ill-mannered. 

Have you ever heard of the term househusband? Or a stay-at-home dad? Let’s be honest, it's a rare scenario. Women are considered to be more capable of taking care of their children, but does it mean that they have to relinquish their dreams? Dreams they may have envisioned since childhood. Dreams they may have burnt the midnight oil for. Dreams that may have been a goal they wanted to accomplish during a lifetime. Why can’t the man make an equal sacrifice? Women are the only bearer of the physical and emotional turmoil of having a baby. Yet, the irony of the situation is that when it comes to topics like abortion the man has an equal say in whether to keep the baby or not. 

There are women who work as strippers, hookers or operate an OnlyFan’s account and while their means of earning is to show off their body, the reason why they do it goes unquestioned. They may be uneducated. They may not have recognized their talents. There may be a family crisis where a huge sum of money is required immediately. They may be trying to meet ends or fulfil a long-term debt. This may be their last straw to survive. However, the only thing taken into consideration is the fact that she is willing to showcase her body. People often assume that girls like these do not have the right to say no to a man. They don’t reserve the right to consent. As mentioned in the famous show ‘adolescence’ they become ‘weak’ and ‘their weakness makes them more gettable’. Women have persistently been trolled on social media for doing such occupations and young children have been brainwashed to believe that calling them atrocious names is valid. But it’s not. How many times has society ever questioned the reasons for women to pursue such an occupation? How many times has society commented on the men doing such an occupation? How can choosing a job like this be blamed solely on women when men are the ones who demand. If such is the case, instead of blaming the women for doing it, blame the man for demanding it. 

It is appalling to see that for men to have even the slightest sense of remorse, their mother or sister has to be bought up. If she is not someone’s mother or someone’s sister, does she not matter? Is she not still someone? 

Lastly, it’s not ALL men, but it’s ALWAYS A MAN. 

By Amairah Sharma