The Recent Epidemic

By Ryan Lam

There has been a new epidemic arising. If you are reading this; it’s probably too late. With whatever strength I have left, I’m giving you this warning.  Even though you may not see it at this time... it’s here; and there is no going back. This message is for anyone still out there fighting the good fight. Happiness is coming for you.

Through thorough research and study, I have discovered that happiness, like most parasites and viruses, cannot be seen or detected by the naked eye. It is a thought that is implanted in you by someone who is a carrier of happiness. It is as insidious, as a casual comment, or as innocuous as a gesture of kindness, and then you will have seeds of happiness planted within you. These seeds long to grow, so it compels the host to do things that let the seed germinate. The host then seeks out supportive people, interesting hobbies, and ways to enrich themselves. Happiness creates enthusiasm around itself to bait others in so it can reproduce and spread to other hosts. Then the host starts to take advice from professionals and peers, furthering their journey to happiness. This starts a chain reaction that is very difficult to stop. It starts subtly and before one knows it, the host is making friends and living their best life. Even laughing off and letting go of the worse times of their lives. Those who have been infected will inevitably prorogate happiness. Happiness may lay dormant for a while, but it always resurfaces.

I have a confession to make. I’m infected with happiness. Even now I’m filled with the desire to bring everyone glee. I wish them well and hope for the best in them. I tell jokes and go out of my way to make people smile. As your bellies fill with laughter and giddiness, soon you will be infected with seeds of happiness. No matter how I struggle, my happiness shines through. The difficulty of life does not matter, a simple act causes the parasite to grow rapidly. I don’t know where or how I initially contracted it, but the signs are clearly showing on me. I don’t know how much longer I will live in misery. Doctors and therapists tell me, I don’t have long with my depression. At the rate my happiness grows, I may no longer be sad, any moment now. Please understand why I’m writing this message to you. Once I pass that threshold completely, the person you once knew will no longer be here. 

If you are smiling now or feeling joy in your heart, it may already be too late for you. All I can say is good luck keeping your melancholy. Eventually, you will be like me, slaving tirelessly to create joy and bliss for others, all the while being joyful yourself. Only when the entire universe is under its control will it be sated. If you do not wish to be infected, you must stay in isolation...... (also stay six feet apart, mask up and wash your hands constantly).  These are the guidelines from the CDC [Center of Disease Control] and World Health Organization... I don’t make the rules. 

 I’m able to write this because I’m in one of my depression holes and my happiness has temporarily gone. I’m grabbing at the last gasps of lucidly I have left to create this message. Remember if you are listening to this and this doesn’t resonate with you; you are the resistance. Please understand, we are at the end-times... happiness is here. Happiness is inevitable. 

There is nothing more I can do. Oh, woe is me, I’m about to be happy.

By Ryan Lam