The Prisoner

By Deepika D

I am a prisoner.

No, I’m not held captive by someone.

I’m not imprisoned for some crime,

Nor am I falsely accused and banished.

Then how can I be a prisoner?

I am my both the captor and the victim.

“How could that be possible”, one may wonder.

Well, it isn’t as complex as it sounds,

For there is a lightning and thunder

From the same cloud that has a silver lining.

The same brain that releases dopamine and endorphins

Also functions as the epicenter of pain!

For every moment resulting in joy, there exists a polarizing one.

Be it in the form of overthinking, anxiety or self-deprecating thoughts,

Or a continuous spiral leading to eternal sadness.

“Why brain, why do you hate us so much?

Aren’t we one and the same?” I ask.

You either exhibit stupendous productivity round the clock,

Or make it difficult for the words to come out

That I suffer frequent bouts of writer’s block.

I can go on and on giving more analogies,

With the false hope of finding the right balance -

Between the spectrum that encompasses anxiety and clarity of thought.

I’m no neuroscientist or psychiatrist to decode what goes on inside my brain

I’m just a mere prisoner of my own thoughts!

By Deepika D