The Business of Judging Others - By Janu Krishnan

Written By: JANU KRISHNAN

Category: ESSAY

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

Janu Krishnan presents "The Business of Judging Others," an insightful essay featured in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. This reflective piece delves into themes of empathy, human behavior, and the societal inclination towards judgment. Through a thoughtful exploration, Janu encourages readers to consider the impact of their words and actions on others, promoting a culture of understanding and respect.

About the Work

Through a reflective and engaging style, Janu Krishnan examines the nuances of human behavior and the tendency to judge others. The essay explores the fine line between conversation and gossip, urging readers to practice empathy and self-awareness. With a focus on the implications of judgment in both personal and social contexts, the piece invites introspection and a reevaluation of how we perceive and interact with those around us.

THE BUSINESS OF JUDGING OTHERS

Original Submission by JANU KRISHNAN

THE BUSINESS

OF JUDGING OTHERS

A reflection on empathy, awareness and human behaviour

Dear My Precious Humans,

We are Homo sapiens, and we are social animals. We love to communicate, exchange opinions, share ideas, and talk about the things we experience in our daily lives. Isn't that part of being human?

Yet, we often believe that we are right and expect others to accept us as we are, while struggling to accept them for who they are.

Why can't we let others be who they are and allow ourselves to be genuine, too? Why Are We So Interested in Other People's Lives?

* Is there something wrong with being different? Being unique as we all are.

* Why do we feel the need to judge, label, or discuss others behind their backs?

* And to what extent is talking about other people is healthy?

When Does Conversation Become Gossip?

Talking about others is not always wrong. We may discuss someone's achievements, share useful information, seek advice, or express genuine concern. Sometimes, these conversations help us understand people and situations better. Issues that need to be addressed should be discussed, inspected and rectified appropriately.

Just as the judicial system refers to previous court cases, past events, and similar situations to guide decisions in new cases, it is important to study earlier judgments as references. These cases provide valuable lessons and experience, helping judges and lawyers understand how similar situations were handled and how legal principles can be applied today.

Court cases are not supposed to be based on gossip, but gossip can sometimes become part of the evidence investigated in a case. The important difference is between rumours, allegations, witness statements, and proven facts.

But When Does an Ordinary Conversation Become Gossip?

It becomes questionable when we spread unverified information, expose someone's private matters without a good reason, exaggerate their mistakes, or discuss their lives simply for entertainment. Sometimes, it’s just too fashionable and popular when you know all the happenings in the world, for approval of others in

We often hear rumours and begin to believe them before they are confirmed. Sometimes, a rumour may turn out to be true. But even if it is true, does that automatically mean it deserves to be discussed?

Truth Alone Does Not Justify Every Conversation. We should also consider privacy, intention, relevance, and the possible harm our words may cause.

Not everything we know needs to be shared. Not everything we hear needs to be repeated.

Why Is It Easier to Talk About Others Than Ourselves?

Human behaviour is complicated. Sometimes, discussing other people's lives feels easier than examining our own. Talking about ourselves may expose our insecurities, mistakes, disappointments, or unresolved struggles. Talking about someone else allows us to shift the spotlight away from ourselves.

Perhaps that is one reason gossip can be so tempting. It gives us something to talk about without requiring us to reveal much about who we really are.

We may also judge others to feel more confident about ourselves, gain acceptance from a group, or feel that we belong. Comparing ourselves with others can temporarily make us feel better about our own circumstances.

However, we should be careful not to assume that everyone who gossips has the same intention. People talk about others for different reasons, including curiosity, social bonding, concern, insecurity, and habit.

The more important question is this: Are we using our conversations to understand people, or to make ourselves feel superior to them?

How Often Do We Misjudge People?

We judge people by their appearance, facial expressions, behaviour, attitudes, lifestyle, and even the way they communicate. People act differently to different people. We can’t be the same to A and B, we react according to their tunes.

Someone who is quiet may be labelled arrogant. Someone who prefers solitude may be considered unfriendly. Someone who speaks confidently may be seen as boastful, while someone who sets boundaries may be called selfish.

But do we really know what is happening inside another person?

We do not know every struggle they have faced, every disappointment they have endured, or every reason behind their decisions. What we see is only a small part of their lives.

Before judging someone, we should ask ourselves: Have I understood the whole situation, or am I simply interpreting it through my own experiences and beliefs? We may never fully understand another person's circumstances. That is precisely why humility and empathy matter. We do not have to agree with everyone, but we can respect their right to be different.

Once, I was discussing movies and Game of Thrones (GOT) with an old campus friend. She seemed to assume I knew nothing about the HBO series or its author, George R. R. Martin. I felt a little insulted. Come on! 😂 I knew about the books, the author, and even how many books were published and still expected. After all, I had worked in a bookstore and managed the fiction department. Not to brag, but I do know some of the stuffs!

Never underestimate someone just because you haven't seen the full extent of their knowledge. You may know something they don't, and they may know something you haven't discovered yet. Laughing Pusheen

A conversation is not a competition to prove who is smarter. It is an opportunity to exchange knowledge, learn something new, and appreciate different perspectives.

Perhaps she thought she knew more about the subject than I did. Or perhaps she simply made an assumption without realising it. I cannot know what was going through her mind, but the experience reminded me of how easily we underestimate others.

How quickly she judged me without even asking! But yeah, it’s okay, I forgive her. And, I didn’t block her in my WhatsApp. Haha! I don’t have time to hold silly grudges for things like this, yeah! God knows how innocent I am at many times.

She could simply have asked, “Have you watched Game of Thrones? My husband loves that series!” That would have been a natural way to start a conversation without making assumptions about what I knew or didn't know.

Interestingly, people who talk the most are often perceived as the most knowledgeable. But is talking more the same as knowing more?

Those who truly understand a subject know that there is always more to learn. The moment we believe we know everything, we close the door to learning. Sometimes, the wisest person in the room is not the one who speaks the most, but the one who knows when to listen.

Be confident in your knowledge, but humble in your wisdom, and curious enough to keep learning.

We never know everything about another person's background, knowledge, experiences, or interests. Someone who appears quiet may be highly knowledgeable. Someone who does not talk much may have a wealth of experience. And someone who disagrees with us may know something we have never learned. Yet, we are judging everyone too quickly. Isn’t that wrong?

The lesson is simple: Instead of assuming what others know, ASK. Instead of rushing to conclusions, LISTEN. And instead of trying to prove that we know more, give others the opportunity TO SHARE what they know.

We do not need to know everything to have a meaningful conversation. Sometimes, the wisest thing we can say is, “Tell me more.”

Why Can't We Keep Things Confidential?

Whether it’s in office, among friends, or within a family, private information can quickly become public knowledge. Private means confidential, not for public sharing. A conversation shared in confidence may travel from one person to another, changing slightly each time it is repeated. By the time it reaches the final listener, the original meaning may have been distorted.

Sometimes, people share information without malicious intentions. They may simply want attention, emotional support, or something interesting to discuss. Nevertheless, the consequences can be damaging.

Trust Takes Time to Build but can be lost through a single careless conversation.

Before sharing someone's private information, we should ask ourselves: Is this mine to tell? Is there a legitimate reason to share it? Would I feel comfortable if someone discussed my private life in the same way? If we expect others to respect our privacy, we must learn to respect theirs.

In the Age of AI, Shouldn't We Question What We See and Hear?

We are living in an age where information travels faster than ever. Artificial intelligence can generate convincing images, videos, voices, and written stories. Social media allows rumours to spread across the world within minutes. Anyone can just place your picture anywhere and make up a viral content out of it. It’s that easy, in our finger tips. But is it legal, or ethical? Not many cares about the self-realization anymore. Mostly media and people who do this are with some intentions or hidden agenda. Nothing seems real anymore.

Something that looks real may be fabricated. Something that sounds convincing may be misleading. Even genuine photographs, videos, and data can be taken out of context.

As members of an increasingly technology-driven generation, shouldn't we become more responsible in the way we consume and share information?

Before believing a claim, can we check its original source, look for independent and credible reports, examine the context, and verify whether the evidence supports the conclusion?

Even data should be cross-checked. A statistic can be accurate but misleading when presented without context. An AI-generated answer can sound authoritative and still be wrong. Even AI has that disclaimer. And remember that – repeating a rumour many times does not turn it into a fact.

We should also respect that not every private matter needs to be investigated. Verification is important when a claim genuinely matters. Being technologically advanced means little if we do not develop the wisdom to use technology responsibly.

Before We Judge, Let's Ask Ourselves a Few Questions

* Am I certain that what I heard is true? Even if it’s true, do I need to utter it?

* Is this information relevant, or am I wasting time on it?

* Am I helping someone, or potentially hurting their reputation?

* Would I say the same thing if the person were standing in front of me?

* Would I be comfortable if someone discussed me this way? Laptop Pusheen

* Is this conversation adding value to my life or anyone else's?

* Could I use this time to understand myself better instead?

Are we seeking for the truth or solutions or simply spreading stories for entertainment? We do not to remain silent and ignore about wrongdoing, abuse or unsafe matters. Speaking up boldly necessary but spreading fake news is also irresponsible.

* Why do we judge others so quickly?

Judgement is not always malicious. Our brains constantly interpret behaviour and make rapid assessments to navigate the world. Problems arise when we mistake our first interpretation for the complete truth.

Here are five psychological concepts that explain why this happens.

* Psychological concept - How it appears in everyday life

* Fundamental attribution error - We explain another person's mistake as a character flaw while overlooking the circumstances affecting them.

* Confirmation bias - Once we dislike someone, we notice information that supports our opinion and discount evidence that contradicts it.

* Social comparison - We measure our achievements, appearance, wealth or relationships against other people to evaluate ourselves.

* Projection - Sometimes, we attribute feelings or motives to others that we find difficult to acknowledge in ourselves. This is one possible defence mechanism, not an explanation for every judgement.

* In-group bias - We may give people in our own circle more favourable interpretations while judging outsiders more harshly.

Consider this example.

Two colleagues arrive late. One is your close friend; the other is someone you dislike. You think, my friend must have had an emergency, but that other person is irresponsible. The circumstances may be identical. What changes is your interpretation.

A useful psychological question is:

Am I responding to what this person actually did, or to the story I have already created about them? Think and act! Be fair!

We often spend more time discussing other people's lives than understanding our own. Gossip gives us something to talk about, while judging gives us the illusion that we know better. But have we ever paused to ask ourselves why we feel the need to analyse someone else's choices, relationships, appearance, failures or success?

Here are some thought-provoking perspectives you could develop into a better understanding.

10 Truths About Gossiping and Judging: -

1. Gossip is a story without the whole truth.

We often hear one side, add our own assumptions and pass the story along as if we witnessed the entire truth.

2. Judging is easier than understanding.

It just takes seconds to criticise someone, but genuine understanding requires patience, empathy and an open mind.

Every time I smile after my treatments, some people assume I am completely fine and free from pain. But is that true? Only God and Me knows. Do we have to show our pain to everyone just to prove that we are suffering?

When I travel or go out to enjoy life, some people seem very unhappy, perhaps because they cannot do the same even when they are healthy. Am I supposed to remain bedridden all the time just to meet their expectations? Do I need to proof anything about being sick. The suffering and struggle are personal indeed.

Is it fair to judge my condition without knowing what I am going through? Am I not allowed to find a balance between healing, living, and enjoying the moments I have?

For nearly 23 years, I worked hard, sometimes even 24 hours a day. Did everyone stop to ask why I was working so hard? Yet, when I travel using my own hard-earned money, I am being judged. Why is my hard work accepted, but my decision to enjoy life questioned?

I have endured enough to understand that life is not just about surviving pain. It is also about giving myself permission to live, explore, and create beautiful memories whenever I can. Smiling does not mean I am painless, and travelling does not mean I am completely healed. It simply means I am choosing to live my life, one moment at a time.

3. Sometimes, judgement reflects the person judging.

Our insecurities, experiences and beliefs can influence how we interpret other people's behaviour.

I won’t claim that I have never judged anyone. But with maturity, I have learned to challenge my thoughts whenever I judge someone by their appearance or the way they speak. I recognise that it is unfair, so I choose to stop.

I also remind myself that when I accuse someone of being jealous, I should first examine whether jealousy exists within me. Instead of feeding negative thoughts, I practise self-awareness and choose a more positive perspective.

Even when something negative happens, I try to look for the lessons and possibilities it brings. It’s better that way.

4. Gossip can create belonging at someone else's expense.

Some people bond by talking about an absent person. But a connection built on humiliating others may not be a trustworthy one.

5. Not every opinion deserves your attention.

People may interpret your life through their own experiences. You do not have to live according to every opinion they form about you.

I still remember how some of my relatives assumed that chemotherapy was contagious. They spread rumours that discouraged others from visiting me during one of the most difficult periods of my life. What a relief, indeed! I no longer have to entertain people with such hearts. I neither need their sympathy nor expect their empathy.

Have they ever stopped to think about how deeply such rumours could hurt someone who is already going through so much agony? Have they ever considered the emotional burden their words could add to another person’s suffering? I’ve already gone through so much at that period. Is this necessary? They don’t have to be empathy of someone’s battle. Do my pain and existence has no value for them ? At least don’t simply spread any unknown facts.

Have they ever thought that spreading such hurtful rumours could be a sin, too?

6. We see behaviour, but rarely the whole battle.

We may see someone's anger, absence, failure or silence without knowing the grief, exhaustion or struggles behind it.

7. Silence can be wiser than participation. Silence is the best weapon indeed.

Not every rumour needs your reaction. Sometimes, refusing to spread a story is the most respectful response.

8. Empathy asks a better question.

Instead of asking, "What's wrong with this person?" ask, "What might I not understand about their situation?"

9. Your energy is better invested in your own growth.

Every minute spent obsessing over another person's life is a minute you could use to improve your own.

10. Maturity is knowing the difference between discernment and condemnation.

You can recognise harmful behaviour, establish boundaries and protect yourself without humiliating another person. Be mature in listening to all this gossips and rumours. You can talk other useful things, instead believe everything you hear.

A deeper reflection -

Why are we so interested in what others do, yet sometimes so reluctant to examine what we do ourselves? Think of yourself, first before speaking about anyone else.

Gossip can entertain us. Judgement can make us feel superior. Comparison can temporarily reassure us that our lives are better than someone else's. But none of these guarantee’s wisdom, happiness or inner peace.

There is a difference between discussing a problem to find a solution and discussing a person to damage their reputation. There is also a difference between recognising someone's mistakes and reducing their entire identity to those mistakes.

We are all imperfect human beings, learning through different experiences, circumstances and consequences.

How to Stop Judging and Gossiping

Protect your peace. Reclaim your attention. Invest your energy where it matters. If gossiping and judging do not add value to our lives, why do we continue doing them?

The answer is that not everything we do benefits us in the long term. Some habits provide immediate pleasure, entertainment, a sense of belonging or temporary superiority, even when they cost us time, peace and meaningful relationships.

From a psychological perspective, the goal is not to stop every passing judgement. Our brains naturally evaluate people and situations. The goal is to stop turning our automatic thoughts into unnecessary criticism, rumours or harmful behaviour.

1. Seven ways to change the habit 5 Questions You Should Never Ask Others | Medium

1. Pause before you participate

When a conversation turns into gossip, give yourself a few seconds before responding. Ask:

“Is what I am about to say useful, necessary or kind?”

This pause helps interrupt an automatic habit and gives you a chance to choose your response.

2. Examine your own motive

Are you sharing information to protect someone, solve a problem, feel accepted, entertain others or make someone look bad? Be honest without condemning yourself. Recognising the motive is the first step towards changing the behaviour.

3. Learn to redirect conversations

You do not have to argue, lecture others or appear morally superior. Try simple responses such as: -

* “Let's not assume we know the whole story.”

* “Maybe we should ask them directly.”

* “Anyway, what else have you been working on?”

If the conversation remains harmful, politely excuse yourself. Every story has three sides: - You, me and the truth!

4. Replace gossip with something meaningful

A habit is easier to change when you give yourself an alternative. Discuss ideas, books, travel, personal growth, interesting discoveries, hobbies or plans for the future.

Instead of asking, “Have you heard what happened to her?” ask, “What have you learnt recently that changed your perspective?”

5. Stop using other people as a measuring scale

Someone else's success does not diminish yours. Their failure does not increase your worth. Their appearance, marriage, wealth or lifestyle does not need to become a benchmark for your own. When comparison arises, return your attention to what you can improve in your own life.

6. Reduce the triggers

If certain groups, chat threads, social media accounts or environments repeatedly draw you into gossip, change how you engage with them. Mute unnecessary group chats, avoid spreading screenshots and set boundaries with people who repeatedly seek your participation in personal attacks.

7. Practise observing without condemning

When you notice someone's behaviour, separate what you observed from the story you created about it.

Let Us Be Kinder, More Ethical, and More Human

Let us be kinder to one another. Before judging someone, let us practise empathy, responsibility, and ethical thinking.

Sometimes, we forget that gossip is not merely a conversation. When false rumours spread like wildfire, they can destroy someone's reputation, break relationships, damage careers, and cause immense emotional suffering. A person who appears perfectly fine on the outside may be silently struggling with the pain caused by other people's words.

In the most tragic circumstances, relentless rumours, humiliation, and bullying can contribute to someone losing hope and even taking their own life. No one should have to suffer such consequences simply because others chose to spread stories without considering the harm they might cause.

Is it really worth destroying someone's peace just to entertain ourselves or gain attention?

How can we feel comfortable spreading something we know is untrue? And if we do not know whether it is true, why should we repeat it as though it were a fact?

Deliberately spreading false information to damage another person's reputation is not cleverness; it is a failure of responsibility and compassion. Being cunning with words does not make us wiser, and being the first to share a rumour does not make us more important.

We may not always agree with another person's choices, behaviour, or beliefs. We are entitled to our opinions, but we are also responsible for how we express them. We can disagree without humiliating, correct someone without cruelty, and speak about genuine wrongdoing without turning it into entertainment.

Before passing judgement, let us remember that we have never walked every step of another person's journey. We do not know the full story behind their struggles, their silence, or their decisions.

Our words can either become a wound that someone carries for years or a kindness that helps them keep going. The choice is ours.

Let us be the generation that verifies before believing, thinks before speaking, and chooses compassion over cruelty. In this age of AI and instant communication, we have more ways than ever to spread information. What we need just as urgently is the wisdom to know when not to spread it.

After all, being human is not merely about having the intelligence to speak. It is about having the conscience to understand when our words might hurt another human being.

Be kind. Be ethical. Be responsible.

Before you share someone's story, remember that it is a human life you are talking about, not a piece of entertainment. Always offer kindness, even if its small gesture. Spread good news and create better AURA and VIBRATION.

A thought to carry with you: - Open hand with plant with solid fill

“Not every story deserves your attention, not every opinion deserves your voice, and not every behaviour requires your judgement.” Your attention is a limited resource. Invest it in understanding yourself, developing your abilities, nurturing meaningful relationships and living a life you respect.

About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar is a platform celebrating diverse voices in poetry and creative writing. It invites participants from around the world to share their unique perspectives and contribute to a rich tapestry of creative expression. The competition highlights the importance of storytelling in understanding and connecting with one another.

We extend our gratitude to Janu Krishnan for their thoughtful contribution, "The Business of Judging Others," to the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. Your essay encourages valuable reflection and dialogue on empathy and human behavior. Thank you for sharing your perspective and enriching our community with your insights.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.