The Anonyms Lover

By Prabir Kumar Datta

The winter afternoon was declining quickly with the scarlet sun creating a fresco of colorful clouds on the western sky and the last rays of the day were playing hide and seek through the flowered trees on the reptilian path on the fringes of the vast park. The melancholy of the dooming day gradually falling over the cascading flow of water in the artificial spring at one end of the park, the exhaustion of the frail veterans on their way home along the clean pavements and the gathering of the darkness in the backyard of the stable were all written clearly on the face of a morose Olivia sitting on a wooden bench at one corner.

She was trying to do a thorough sleuthing to get the bottom of her pain that had been swaying her for the last couple of days culminating to the yesterday’s message from her mother that shattered her like a house of cards. Not even the shouting of the boys playing on the ground or the chirping of the home bound birds on the branches of the shady trees could distract her at all from the knotty chain of thoughts that she was trying to unwind.

It was completely beyond her expectation that she would spend the third death anniversary of her father like this alone in the midst of unknown people not aware of the turbulence in her mind. Last two years on this day she had always found her mother, her only abode of love, accompanying her to the graveyard with wrath of white flowers and passionately wiping her tears. After attending the prayer at the church she used to share feelings with her mother discussing about the unforgettable memories of the childhood in the company of father.

However for the last two years after her father passed away prematurely she had been away from home in a hostel which mother had arranged for the reason of her incapacity to look after the child alone and her busy work schedule at the office. Olivia had no grievance for that arrangement behind which her own enthusiasm also took a major part because of her urge to avoid the house where at every nook and corner memories of her father were unavoidably present. But the fact that her mother failed to remember today’s special importance even forgetting to call her once over phone, not to talk of  observing the day with proper respect, was so much beyond Olivia’s imagination that she also didn’t care to remind her.

 A friendship had recently grown between her mother and one of her colleagues against which Olivia had of course no strong repulsion although she had never met that person. Initially she took it as a leeway taken by her mother for overcoming her bereavement than to be a serious affair. But when that relationship came on the way of the observance of her own husband’s death anniversary and the duty of rendering emotional support to her only daughter, Olivia found no reason to forgive her today. 

A few days back when her mother was fumbling at the other end of the phone to deliver her the dreaded news of marrying again she reacted vehemently. She could never think of placing any other person in place of her loving father who left them untimely and was therefore so upset that she refused to talk to her mother any further not receiving her repeated calls thereafter. She clearly told her in a cold but harsh voice, “It’s your decision Mamma. You don’t have to explain. Just do me one favor. Don’t ever call me anymore. I don’t need your support in anything of my life except my fees and expenses of the school and hostel till my school life ends for which you are duty bound.”

Mother tried to appease her with lot of nice words which appeared to Olivia as the bitterest ones ever heard in life and after that day’s hot exchange she already made up her mind to cut up all connections with mother. She did not even repent for her behavior or decision as she felt that it was only her mother who had disregarded her. Had she not been a fifteen year old girl without any alternative way of livelihood, she would have left the hostel to choose her own life.

For several days thereafter she could not eat properly, spent sleepless nights full of weird thoughts and was completely broken down emotionally. She had to struggle with the awkward situation alone, avoid the association of friends and search for a way out from the long tunnel of darkness of despair she was in. With her pale face and uncombed hair she also became the target of curious looks and uncomfortable questions of the friends. 

Olivia was very much aware that she was an ordinary looking girl with uneven teeth and high powered glasses. While most of her friends were already engaged with boyfriends Olivia had never received any invitation to go to a date nor had anyone been attracted to her in any get together. She was however neither too concerned for that nor was much attentive to her dress and hairstyle being more involved in her intellectual pursuits like writing poems, painting etc. where she had a natural flair and had hardly any competitor.  But due to her recent mental agony she failed even to give the minimum attention to her health or make up and was even scared to face the mirror.

As the short winter afternoon came to an end and the park became deserted Olivia thought of getting up from the bench without knowing what to do and where to go next. There was no meaning of life to her now with no one to share her pain or give her solace and all roads appeared to be closed in front of her. The only place where she could go was her hostel room, but the moment she thought of facing the friends busy with amusements and ready to tease her she lost the entire confidence. 

 Suddenly she had an idea in mind for solving of all her problems in one go which appeared to be a very easy one. One week back she had to go to a doctor who had prescribed some sleeping pills along with other medicines. Right now she was in possession of the prescription which could very well be utilized now to buy enough sleeping pills and all those can be consumed together to attain a peaceful escape from this wretched life. The thought made Olivia agile enough to get up and start for the pharmacist shop.

Olivia reached the hostel with much relaxed mind with two strips of sleeping pills in her purse being almost sure that she would get ample scope of materializing her plan of committing suicide. It being a holiday her roommate would definitely go out to spend a nice evening with her boy friend and most of other rooms would also be almost vacant till 9 P.M. which was the deadline for return of the boarders. She felt herself fortunate for her lack of beauty for which nobody had taken her to such evening outings which perfectly suited her purpose today. By the time others would detect her body she would already get rid of this life forever.

But when Olivia was preparing for her final journey after leaving a note on the table she never knew that life would bring such a big and sudden twist before her. Just as she was dissolving the sleeping pills in a glass of water for drinking the whole stuff at a time there was a knock on the door. Being disturbed at this unwanted interruption she initially didn’t respond, but the knocking continued rather more vehemently. She presumed that it must be her roommate who might have come back early. With lot of disgust she had to stop her work, hide the suicide note and wipe tears on her face before reluctantly proceeding towards the door.

But it was the housekeeping lady waiting with a large bouquet in her hand.  Being sure that it was for her roommate who had a lot of fans Olivia told her,” Keep it on the table. I’ll give it to her.”

The lady said smiling,” Madam, it’s for you. One gentleman came to deliver it.”

The news appeared to be a vulgar joke at this mental situation of hers. There was nobody on the earth who could send her flower like this except her mother with whom she had herself severed all relations only a few days back. She couldn’t also recollect any emotional exchange with any male person in recent past. The lady must be mistaken, she thought.

But the lady confirmed again,” Here is a card also in your name.”

Now Olivia had no reason to disbelieve and she took the bouquet and the card where it was clearly written, “To Olivia with love, to share your feelings on  the death anniversary of your father.”

There was no name of the sender anywhere and Olivia stood baffled with the things in hand trying frantically to find out a clue.

Separate buildings of school, college and the hostels were situated in different corners of a very big compound. While the school and college were coeducational, hostels for the boys and the girls were different and separated by a big field which of course posed no great barrier to the interaction between the girls and the boys. Many of her classmates of ninth class used to receive this type of gifts from the boys of upper class of the college.

It was therefore possible that the gentleman referred to by the lady was some big boy like that who might have collected the information of her father’s death anniversary from some of her close friends. The fact that somebody was interested to an unattractive girl like hers was difficult to believe for Olivia, but still the touch of the flower and the message of the card to some extent softened her emotions. The recent attempt of suicide appeared to be redundant now and pouring the dissolved sleeping pills into the wash basin she became more engrossed in investigating the whereabouts of the anonymous sender.

The curiosity to find out the person who had wished her in the moment of her dire destruction became unbearable to Olivia. An inexplicable shivering of joy for the hearty message mixed with a feeling of fear of uncertainty grasped her simultaneously. As the time for the return of her roommate approached she felt more tensed finding no way to explain her about the bouquet.

The intercom rang just then and the operator told that it was a call from an outsider who had been attempting from the afternoon to contact her. In the school hostel mobile phone was not allowed to the students and any outside call needed the help of the operator through the intercom only. But till now Olivia had made no telephonic conversation with anybody other than her mother which also was stopped nowadays.

As she held the receiver with trembling hand the male voice from the other end uttered,” Hope the flowers have reached you safely.”

 Olivia asked,” But why have you sent those to me? I don’t know you.”

The person smiled,”I know that you are missing your father today. I only wanted to share the feeling.”

His voice was sympathetic enough to melt her. She became inquisitive, “How do you know that? Have we ever met?”

“We haven’t met yet, but I know you. Hope you have not taken any offence.”

He was talking nicely, but Olivia could not get rid of her doubts. The fact that many young girls fall prey to fake people who always collect the details about their target like this was not unknown to her. Particularly after her disassociation with mother she had become more vulnerable and therefore she became cautious and said,” I know very well that I have nothing to impress anyone. I also don’t like that somebody collects my details behind me. Either you come forward to introduce yourself or please don’t disturb me.”

Olivia was about to disconnect, but the man pleaded, “For God’s sake, don’t misunderstand me. I am not a bad man.  But who said that you have nothing to impress? You write nice poems, I have seen your paintings in school magazine, you are also a brilliant student.”

Olivia was amazed to hear from a stranger her unsung qualities which nobody had ever highlighted like this and getting such untested praise she could not resist her eagerness to hear more. She said in a voice of false denial,” Those are useless things only. If you are seriously interested why you don’t meet me personally.”

 He said,“ Yes I also want that. But at this moment I have some real problems. I shall meet you and tell you everything in the opportune moment. Believe me, I am a true well wisher of you and will talk to you over phone like this for some time. Till then please bear with me a little.”

“At least tell me you name. Otherwise how can I address you?” Olivia was a bit surprised.

“Don’t worry for that. You can call me by any name. You can rely on me. But may I request you one thing? Please come out of your state of distress. Please don’t torture yourself. You have lot of talents to which you have to do justice. I am telling that you will be happy and successful one day. ”

As the conversation was over Olivia was, to say the least, very much bewildered. But at the same time it appeared to her that the words were told honestly and she was also feeling motivated a lot. She could not make out whether she should be glad or worried. The owner of that unknown voice had however never disrespected her and behaved like a true friend. But still the mystery about his identity kept her anxious.

The whole night she kept on thinking about the person who not only saved her from killing herself but also provided quite a lot of positive thinking in her.  She felt that she was talking to an angel of a fairy tale although that was not possible because the man had talked over telephone in real life. Possibly he might have some serious problem in disclosing himself right now. But he had shown enough sympathy or support and never appeared to have any bad intention. Moreover Olivia was already on the verge of a complete destruction and hardly had anything to lose.

The telephone call came next day again when Olivia neither made any hesitation to receive the same nor did she want to know his details again. Rather she was by now having trust on that man and longed for hearing more encouraging words about herself. She told him,” I thought for the whole night yesterday. You told me that I shall be happy again. But you perhaps don’t know that I am ruined in all respect. I have no one to share my pain, no one to be happy for my success and nobody to wait for me. There is no hope of my being happy.”

The man laughed,” The problem lies there! Actually most of us think that our happiness depend on others only. We wait for others to support in sorrows, others to praise for success and others to raise us from downfall. But others are not at our disposal and so we get frustrated. Can it not be other way round? Can we not start the process of supporting, praising or loving others at first? If we can, things will definitely reciprocate. That is the law of nature. Try that and all your problems will vanish.”

Olivia had to admit that the man’s words were of magnetic influence and had logic too. Nobody had ever analyzed the things like this before her. She was unknowingly becoming charged by new thoughts and inspirations. She wanted to keep the conversation on and listen to more advice by provoking him,” But my problems are not all about emotions only. There are other real life issues. I am fully aware of my limitations. I am not good looking and have many other drawbacks which you probably don’t know.”

Stopping her midway he told,” Don’t take life in such a negative way.  The issues you are referring to are trifle only and there are many practical remedies available for addressing them. You can go to gym to do work out and there are dozens of parlors all around to provide beauty treatment. Why don’t you try those? But it is more important that you excel in your strong areas like studies, art and literature although you can’t afford to neglect other things also.”

He was talking as if he was her preceptor and she was her student. But still Olivia was becoming hypnotized by the words delivered so passionately and unknowingly started loving the man who was throwing new rays of hope in her life full of darkness.

The phone call continued to come at regular intervals with new suggestions every day and Olivia discovered with surprise that she started waiting for the call with great eagerness. That apart, after long time one day she actually got admitted into a gymnasium and even stepped into a beauty parlor for grooming herself to which the man became very happy. 

Thus with his follow up and Olivia’s effort day by day she began to feel the change within her shortly. Neither she skipped the meals any more nor did she neglect the regular monitoring of her hair, skin and body weight like before. At the same time along with her studies she became more focused to her cultural pursuits and artistic aptitude.  The phone call acted like a strong medicine to her and she gradually became addicted to it. Her roommate also could somehow know about her new relationship and encouraged her with various tips although she did not tell her about the mystery of his identity.

 But soon Olivia got tired of this awkward game where she was completely exposed to a man without knowing him. So one day she told him impatiently,        ” You have done great favor to me. But I can’t wait more.”

 The man tried to console her, “Yes, you have reason to be restless. So long you have not disregarded my logical advices although your own will power is much more responsible than my suggestions for your coming back to normalcy from a state of complete ruin. I only wanted to see you happy. Don’t worry. Very shortly I shall tell you everything. I also don’t want to do injustice to you anymore.”

 Olivia meanwhile had started loving the man and was dreaming of a new life with him. But she was no more satisfied with such vague assurance. She asked straight,” I can wait, but tell me exactly the date when we shall meet.”

The man thought for a while and said,” Actually I have still a small problem. I must meet you after that is over.” 

 Olivia was annoyed now thinking that he was avoiding her. She said indignantly,” Why are you telling the same thing again and again? I don’t want simply your sympathy and praise over phone. What is your problem if you are really a genuine person?”

The man was not excited at all. He said.” I really love you. I don’t want to lose your friendship at all. The delay is only for that.”

“ I don’t believe in all those bullshits. If you have so many problems then why on earth you came to love me?” Olivia shouted.

The man begged, ”Please don’t be angry. Actually I am a great lover of the rare qualities of you. Knowing about your talents I got in touch with you. I was also told that you were facing some crisis in life. Please pardon me if I have in any way hurt you.”

Olivia was pacified a bit but still insisted,” If it is a fact, you have to be transparent. I don’t want you to talk to me anonymously any more. If you don’t listen to me this is our last conversation.”

The man hurriedly said,” Please don’t disconnect.  Give me just another week only. You have waited long. Please allow me this little time.”

 Olivia thought for a while and felt that getting attracted to a girl of quality like her was not very unlikely for a boy.  Also due to his motivating words only she was a changed person now. From an unassuming frail girl totally afraid of facing the world she was now a confident woman with rejuvenated health, brightened appearance and much involvement in studies. That her waiting period was going to end soon made her very much enthusiastic. 

But still she was apprehensive because all his statements so far were verbal only with no solid proof. She raised that issue too,” I still don’t know you. In order to believe your words I need sufficient proof for that.”

 The man readily agreed,” I shall definitely give that. On the day of our meeting I shall bring a strong proof in support of my claims. But meanwhile may I request you one thing? Please bring a choicest gift for me when we meet so that we can remember the grand moment. I shall also bring one for you.”

 Olivia had nothing to object to that as the man had now agreed to all her demands. She anxiously started waiting for the gala day of her life.  She spent a considerable amount of money from her pocket expenses to buy a nice antic gift item for the man and after a week with lot of excitement waited at the gate of the specified restaurant draped in the specified dress and carrying that packet in hand.

She had reached quite ahead of the schedule and was counting every minute impatiently when after some time a gentleman in a blue suit and red tie addressed her from behind,” Hello madam, I am professor Bose, your friend. Welcome to today’s grand occasion.”

Looking back startled, Olivia found a handsome gentleman in his fifties spreading his right hand towards her for a handshake. With trembling hand she responded, but a cloud of serious doubt immediately gathered in her mind. She had a young man of maximum twenty five to thirty years of age in her mind and could not reconcile him with the middle aged gentleman in front of her.

“The table is booked there. Please come.”

Olivia followed him with great suspicion being not sure of the man’s true purpose. A man of his age can have many bad motives with a helpless immature girl like her and alluring her to come here with many sweet words over phone might very well be part of a big project out  of  which even female trafficking could not be excluded. Olivia was so much scared that she felt a cold current of fear in her spine thinking of the possibility that the entire episode so far might be a long term planning to trap her and this man’s identity as a professor might also be false. The man had already known all her details, had encouraged her grooming of health and beauty, which all appeared now to be part of some filthy agenda. On the other hand she herself was totally unsecured with nobody to come for her rescue. Her mother who was the only support available to her in the world had been kept away by herself.

While she was burdened with all such uncomfortable thoughts the man handed over a packet to her saying,” This is for you. See if you like it. Where is mine one?”

Olivia was in no mood to deliver him the packet of gift brought by her. She became a bit rude to say,” Forget about the gift. You assured me to bring your proof of identity. Show me that at first.”

The man laughed loudly and said,” Yes, yes. You are right. I must provide you that. But for that please wait a little till my wife arrives. She is bringing some more gifts for you. In fact today is her birthday. I was waiting so long for this date only. Meanwhile can I have my gift?”

Olivia could not believe her ears at what the man told. For last so many days she had been building her castle of romantic dreams of love with someone attracted to her while now the middle aged person in front of her even turned out to be a married man which he had never disclosed earlier. Olivia was totally clueless and could not decide what to do. Another worry flashed in her mind that the man and his female partner both might be together to chalk out the big plan to deceive her. The entire episode appeared to be a mischievous drama of some unknown miscreants to which she had become a prey which totally broke down her.

The man almost snatched the antic gift item she brought with her. While accepting that with many thanks and appreciating the same very much he told her,” But you have not yet seen the gift brought by me. This is not good. Ok, let me unwrap it for you.” 

Opening the packet he brought out a nicely framed photograph and holding it before Olivia said,” See, if you like it”

Looking at the photograph Olivia was totally dumbfounded. It was a photograph of her father in a nice golden frame. Such an unimaginable gift from a stranger made her so irritated that she even forgot that it was a public place. She shouted in exclamation, “Where did you get it? How do you dare to make fun of my father?”

But the man kept on smiling. “I got it from my wife. Only she can tell you the rest.”

Olivia was fuming in anger when the man was suddenly attentive to a nicely dressed lady entering the restaurant with a big shopping bag in hand and a bright face flooded with smile. Showing her he said,” Look, my wife has already arrived.” 

Olivia’s heartbeat stopped at the sight of the lady and such a quick turn of event left her at wit’s end. It was nothing but the person whom she had wiped away from her life some days back behaving most rudely. She could never anticipate that the wife of the man was nothing but her own mother whose birthday was being observed today by her husband where she had been invited. Her heart pounded in a sudden flash of ecstasy of having come out of an unending darkness suddenly to the broad daylight of happiness. She didn’t know how to react to the totally unimaginable surprise.

The man greeted her wife and said,  ”Let me introduce. This is my biggest friend and the guest of honor of today’s evening of your birthday.” 

But none of his words entered the ears of Olivia as by that time she was tightly bound within the arms of her mother with eyes full of tears. She felt lost in the long awaited touch of her mother whom she had been loathing for the past so many days and found no word now to thank her husband for presenting this dream moment of  her life in such a beautiful and charming manner.

After the long hug was over Olivia heard her mother saying,” You were so much angry with us that we wondered how to appease you. It was entirely his plan. “

The gentleman, her step father, was smiling as usual looking at them.

By Prabir Kumar Datta