Teen Bhai Maach
Updated: May 31, 2023
By Aditi Sandeep
In the river that runs by the mountain tall,
Lived teen bhai maach with their mother and all.
They were brothers very dear,
And most things did not fear.
These three fellows’ ‘Boro1’,’Mejho2’ and ‘Chhoto3’,
Made ‘living on the edge’ their life’s motto.
They worshipped Aerosmith and made this their song,
And were rebellious, rascally and utterly ‘bong’.
All day long they frolicked and clowned about,
So much so B.M. C’s mum was all stressed out!
They routinely cut class and were up to no good,
Which an ideal Kayastha4 Bengali boy never should
The rare days when they deemed it fit to attend,
They would go out all on a bend.
Messing up the orderly formation of the school,
Sending each one in a different direction which was so uncool.
Creeping up stealthily behind some unsuspecting fish,
Scaring them out of their scales, bursting into a stitch!
When all the other fish folk were going about their fishy business,
B.M.C were almost always wallowing in naughtiness.
Teen Bhai Maach were a cautionary tale,
a combination of incorrigible, exasperating and all things male.
But for all their cad like wayward ways,
They were still lovable, adorable and all in all ok.
They were bright brainy boys with big potential,
Polite and helpful with good credentials.
They were fascinated by the world beyond,
And wondered if they would ever be earthbound.
Their life’s ambition was to swim to the top,
Then with a thrust, flip and quick landing plop.
Land on the river bank, three legless louts,
Embarking on grand adventures all over town and about.
In hopes of realizing their dream,
They plotted and planned and came up with a scheme.
For by themselves they could not do,
Mission impossible of fish, fly, flew.
They decided to consult and recruit,
The bravest of brave and the brutest of brute.
When they told their mama of this bit,
She threw a right old conniption fit!
How was she to let them go?
When they didn’t know fish from foe!
Her heart was thumping in alarm,
Premonition told her that they’d come to harm.
“Please do not go on such a fool hardy trip!
You guys are fish. Come on now! Get a grip!”
“Without legs and lungs, you cannot hope,
To move or breathe or even cope!”
“The atmosphere is not for you,
If you leave the river, you will rue!”
“Do not go away my boys!
Life above will bring you no joys!”
But the three did not want to heed good sense,
They badly wanted to jump the fence.
They called upon the downstream cads,
Those migrant minnows, those nonresident lads.
The ‘Horrible Hilsas’ they were named,
For their acts of defiance, they were famed.
The coldblooded ‘Jatka5, Matka6 and Tadka7 da8’,
Of reckless racketeering and notoriety afar.
The lawless ones that everything know,
And swam against the regular flow.
They agreed to take B.M.C to the surface
So that they could achieve their purpose.
The price for their services rendered,
If not paid then lives endangered.
Algae and plankton a month’s supply,
Delivered a week in advance, these terms must comply.
The date was set, the terms agreed on,
Now all that was left were days to countdown.
Against their mother’s better judgement,
They went ahead with their silly commitment.
A week ahead as agreed upon,
Deliveries were made to the creepy cons.
Not realizing the dangers, they were to embark,
Of life and fin to lose in a destiny so stark!
The day of their departure had finally arrived,
They were to accomplish what they had strived.
Escorted by those plankton eating ‘Ilish9’,
They slowly made their way to the finish.
The best time to leave was dawn they said,
“That’s when everyone’s asleep in bed.”
But what those brainless blokes did not know,
Was that fishermen cast their nets at that time also!
So, without any further information or research,
The blind led the blind to leave them in a lurch!
At the very top they saw a dark shadow of something
In ignorance, ruled it out as probably nothing.
If only they had figured, it was the bottom of a boat,
So close to the top they would never have float.
But stupidly brave they climbed along,
To the fishing nets that were spread beyond.
Suddenly there was a pull and tug,
Pushing everyone into a big group hug.
Something was definitely amiss!
As panic and fear were added in the mix.
The hilsa boys were fast to swim,
And made their escape before things got grim.
The net began to draw close around them,
So many other fish were also there, when.
They began to haul the bounty out of water,
B.M.C could not seem to get out any faster.
They were well and truly now trapped all together!
How they wept and hollered for mother!
But alas their good fortune had run out.
And now caught securely without a doubt.
They suffered very badly when they first breathed air,
For without lungs, it seemed really unfair!
They wriggled and jumped and flailed about,
But could for the life of them not figure out.
After a while they gave up and became very still,
So sad, so bad, for all the things they never will.
They were sold to man with a big moustache and belly,
Who loved good fish, song and all things jolly.
He bought the Teen Bhai Maach for a steal,
In anticipation of a stupendous meal.
These three fish were going to be cooked,
In a masterpiece that would find itself in books.
For his wife was a cook extraordinaire,
Who concocted delicacies with style and flair.
The fish were marinated and curried till yummy!
The moral of the story is: listen to your Mummy!
NOTES:
This poem is for both my children, a tribute to my Bengali roots and love for eating fish.
Inspired by a picture of three fish hanging on a hook in a travel magazine.
A story began to unravel in my head about how those three fish came to be on that hook.
Glossary of Bengali terms
1. Boro - big
2. Mejho -medium, middle amongst three.
3. Chhoto -small, smallest
4. Kayastha - a member of a high Hindu caste especially numerous in Bengal and Uttar Pradesh whose caste occupation is that of clerks, writers, and accountants.
5. Jatka -shock (hindi)
6. Matka - earthen pot
7. Tadka -tempering or crackling of spices in oil which are added to a dish for added flavour.
8. Da -shortform of “Dada” which is generally used to say “Elder Brother”, but can also be used to addressed an aggressive person who is in charge.
9. Ilish - Bengali name for Hilsa; a type of species of fish related to the herring.
By Aditi Sandeep
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