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Random Thoughts Of A 16 Year Old

By Ashni

Most days I find myself pondering, what am i? This feeling of utter insignificance grips me. I don't know how to put it but it's a very philosophical feeling. I get it when I wonder about what is this world? What are we? Are we even alive? What is going on? What's happening? Who made us? What was our purpose? Is this the way we’re supposed to live? How did everything happen? How is everything happening? Is it science? Or maybe God? What is god?

These are questions I don't have answers to and there are a lot more. And even when my brain cannot come up with answers for these questions it does come up with more perplexing questions.

So what is my take on life? Personally, I think life’s a hardship and yet we want to keep living. But why do we want to keep on living is the next question that pops up in my mind. I really dont have any answers seriously. Do we live because we want to or do we live because something is making us live? Is it the fundamental urge to survive as we are told or is something else that is completely controlling our actions and thoughts? Are we just failed experiments that were discarded and given a planet to live on and populate out of proportion so that we would one day finish off each other because we weren't even worthy enough to be taken proper care of ?

What is the purpose of being human? If it was being compassionate, supportive and caring, we certainly aren't doing that now, are we? What is this society we live in? Was it always supposed to be like this or did someone make a mistake and forgot all about it?

Were we always meant to be like this? Selfish, arrogant and hypocrites? All we have done up till now is do things for our development never once thinking about how it would affect others. Our excuse,” we’re humans, we were meant to be superior”. Yes, we are superior in the way that were given a much higher evolved brain than other creatures. But thats all. Why weren't we given their morals and values? Now I know that there is goodness in this world but can we really talk about that when every other day we come across incidents that make us lose hope in humanity?

What is hope? It is this feeling that makes us keep striving for whatever it is that we desire. We wish for wealth or for love or that our life would take a turn for the better. But does hoping really get us anywhere? I don't believe it does, in fact it keeps us on standstill. As long as we keep wishing for something to happen, it wont happen. It only happens when you let go of hope and step up and do it yourself. So dont hold on to hope, don't keep hoping. Find the courage to do it yourself.

What is love? Is it really that amazing as it is portrayed to be ? what is this obsession? Why are humans so concerned with love?

It is said that love is the best feeling in this world, it is a feeling of deep affection towards another person. Now it is okay to love someone but these days this concept of love has become a toxic one. Love is no sunshine and butterflies it is burning pages and broken glass. It has practically become a social duty that you should be in love. That if you’re not in love you’re wasting your life.

Nowadays even abusive and toxic behaviour is romanticized. Seriously what is up with that?

What is the difference between being in love with a person and being obsessed with them?

I think if you love someone, you feel an innate connection with them. You want to be able to do anything for them. Love is something that really cant be put into words. You can only feel it. It is a feeling that surpasses all emotions. It requires patience, respect and responsibility equally from both sides. You want that other person in your life if you love them and you need them. But needing and loving someone are different things. As long as you need them to fulfill your other half, as people like to put it, you love them. But if they are the sole purpose of your existence, the whole world revolves around them, there cannot be any life without them, they must be with you always, thats a fixation or an obsession. An unhealthy obsession. You dont love that person, you’re obsessed with them. But many people kid themselves into thinking that that is love.

It is funny how love depends upon so many factors but we cant put it into words.

Love is otherworldly and the greatest curse curse of them all.

And with that i take my leave,


By Ashni

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Jun 16, 2023


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