Raging Demon Inside Me

By Viren Gohil

Raging Demon inside me...

Mighty King of the Wind,

Where does your power lie?

Is it in the strength you wield,

Or is it in the heart you tear?

You ever find your way to me,

So I can ask my questions true.

I would like to know what you believe,

What place do I have in this world?

What good am I to anyone?

How can I matter when no one cares for me?

How do I know if I'm even worth anything?

Am I just a waste of time and space?

If so, how can I ever escape?

If only you would give one answer,

To just one question that I've asked here.

Is it possible for me to become useful?

I don't know if I should keep living

If all of the efforts put forth are fruitless.

All I want is to understand what I'm here for.

I don't understand why you would torment me so,

Or why I feel like I'm nothing more than a tool.

I would rather you take away my life,

Than to suffer with the emptiness inside.

I don't want to be this way,

So please, let me rest.

I'm begging you on my knees,

Please take this pain away.

You see me as just a demon,

You're fooling yourself if you believe I'm evil.

I am only me,

Just like every other human being.

There's nothing special about me,

It doesn't make sense why you think I'm the enemy.

Maybe it's because you're in pain,

And you don't want to deal with things that are real.

Just thinking about death makes me nauseous,

Yet the idea of living is sickening too.

This fighting inside of me,

It's tearing me apart.

I'm losing myself to this war,

I know it takes a lot for you to accept my words.

Please do not give up on me, I need your help to find a way back from this abyss.

Am I beyond redemption?

Can there be a light at the end of this endless tunnel?

Please, help me before I fall into the unknown.

I don't want to give up on life yet,

But I don't know how much longer my body can take this strain.

You see me as a demon, an abomination in your eyes.

What if I told you I'm human too?

I never chose this life that has been forced upon me,

So why must I suffer for my actions that were made before I had any say?

Please, just let me leave.

Let me go somewhere where no one will find me.

If you wouldn't want to be found by them,

Why would you want me to be found by them?

Please understand my reasoning,

I just need to get away from this town.

I need to escape this hell I've been living in, even if it is for a little while,

Or else I will lose myself and become someone else entirely.

By Viren Gohil