Quest (Spirituality and me)

By Adithi Banerjee Tarafdar

Some months back had an eventful train journey. Met an elderly, very talkative gentleman on board. He went on firing one question after the other at me. My “Rudraksha Mala” had really caught his fancy.

His questions however, put me off guard. He gave me a small notepad and asked me to write about my views and thoughts on “spirituality”. What do I understand by the same? Why do I call myself a “spiritual person”? These questions made me ponder, am I truly spiritual or just pretend to be one like so many, so called “Mothers” and “Fathers” across the country, sporting a Rudraksha Mala and wearing loud, sometimes garish clothes along with their unique take on the subject.

“Am I spiritual “? May be I am, perhaps a wee bit. I’m in search of the “me” within me, trying to unfetter the last remaining shackles of the “I” within. Is that so easy? I don’t think so. Trying to understand and not analyze and criticize the strife I’ve been through, through the company of negative people that came and went from my life. I’m trying through “spirituality “ to understand them better. If I say “forgive them” that would be a lie and I’m no liar.

I’m trying to understand the decisions of all those negative people that greatly impacted my life and questioning myself whether I would allow those same people to effect me emotionally again and again. No, I will not. Spirituality has helped me understand my situation better.

There is a saying, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. In this process, spirituality has been my biggest aid. I converse daily with “The One”. No, I’m not religious at all neither an atheist. I believe in the beauty and teachings of all religions. To an extent they all speak the same language. I love to visit the Temple and so also the Gurudwara, the Church and the Mosque. Find these places healing as- well-as beautiful and also an arena to contemplate life as it is.

The present and sometimes the past even, may be scary. However, it’s spirituality which helps one to see “beyond the present circumstances”. There is life beyond pain, beyond trauma, beyond sorrow, beyond guilt and that life is beautiful. One or two or even quite a few negative incidents in life cannot blur the light, the life force given by the Allmighty. Life is precious and must be cherished.

Yes, spirituality is my way of life now and I’m quite ecstatic about it. It has changed me, shaped me to be a better person. Has helped me to look beyond my circumstances and to give up being in control of the situations of life. What is meant to happen will happen and there is no reason to cry over spilt milk. Over the years I’ve become more grounded and slowly and steadily I’ve been able to let go of my “I”. I don’t require somebody’s false affinity towards me to complete me. I’m “whole” within me. I’m complete, I’m happy, I’m fulfilled.

This is how “spirituality” has shaped me and this is what it means to me. Thank you Subhash uncle for making “me” question “myself” on this topic and yes, just as you had asked me, I’m writing although it’s quite late in the night. You told me to finish whatever I start writing even if it’s very late in the night, as long as thoughts keep coming. I’m doing exactly that.

By Adithi Banerjee Tarafdar