Pyaar

By Debasree Maity

Suruwaat ki sree ko pyaar ka paata kabhi nahi tha -Phir zindagi mein ata hain 20’s ki paadhav - yeh bataiye aap saab ne pyaar kaab kya??20’s ke baare kuch bataon main - woh teenage wala time hota hain na jaab maan zyaada behek ta hain….  kya kahoon doston,Woh waqt jab dimag ka GPS bhi confuse hota hai!Maan kahin bhaagta hai, tan kahin ulajhta hai,aur sapne – woh toh bina helmet ke race lagate hain!phir 20’s ke sree ko pehli baar pehla pyaar huya (pehla nasha)Pehla pyaaar oh my god - yeh pehla haar cheez hih kitna khaas hote hain - jitni khoobsurat aur utni khaufnak bhi - woh insaan jisko pyaar ka P bhi nhai pata tha usko Pyaar main doobti dekh mere dost bhi chaunk gaye - parr yaar yeh dost kitne acche hote hain aise hih badnaam hain saare dost..

Ab pyaar main Aurat - Women in Love - 7th wi fail gawar andhi. Where as Men in love is blissful - I guess isiliye kyunki Men are either emotionally available or else ekdum hih unavailable inke liye beech kuch nahi hota hain - mard bekaar hih badnaam hain I will tell you why kyunki yeh log suruwaat mein yeh log bohot efforts delta hain - just like initially when you said you love planting aur uske naam pr podha laake baas 3-4 consecutive weeks paaane ddale isne result diye ab yeh wow lag raha you felt nice just like when the moment comes the woman say yes I do …………..Phir pyaar , rishta, unmatched opinions and 

Inke liye ab tumhe toh mujhse pyaar hain na tow ab tum bhi samjho mujhe - Yaar dekho kalesh is fine - pasandida aurat ke nakhre tow uthane hih chahiye par par - Agar woh sirf mehenat tum dono ka future secure karne ke liye kar raha hain tow tumhara farz hain tum agla ko samjho baba,Woh so hih tow gaya tha raat ko bina baat - is far better than he said he is feeling sleepy and after that good night, bye ! - “The number you are trying to reach is busy on another call”By this I am not asking ladies to normalise that he treats you as granted - like Abhi busy hoon - Presentation deadlines meet karne ka bahana deke, kya busy dost ke saath sutta marna ka time hain ..Office ke kaam tum nahi samajhti bolke - match dekhne ka time hain …Yeh PDA - social display I dont like - Angel Priya profile picture like and comment karneka time hain…..Behen RED & GREEN Traffic lights rehne do tum bas Boy and Man mein antaar dekho ……

Mard bhole jinko karna, rehna, ladna hota - woh karke, rehke, ladke seh lenge…..

Isi dauran sree ko bhi jaab pehle pyaar huya yeh seekhne ka mauka milaAur pehli heartbreak ke saath- Maine Pyaar ko jaana, pyaaar seekha.Aur ageh badhti zindagi mein - haar heartbreak ke through Pyaar manaya, pyaar jeeya, pyaar mein khud ko khoya, Paar pyaar ka dekha, pyaar ko na paaya - pyaar thairav ke saath nahi aya - I believe in love - I feel love is not harmful but can’t guarantee about lovers…..

Pyaar sirf sukoon, sabr, shukr, seh hih haan - Pyaar sirf heal karta hain - pyaar mein dil nahi dukhta pyaar karne wale dukhate hain dil..Main humesha Pyaar pe baat karti hoon kyunki Pyaar sirf Pyaaara hih nahin khoobsurat bhi hain!

Pyaar umeed aur himmat dono hain - zinda rehne ke liye yeh kaafi hain - ek poori zindagi kaat nahi jee sakte hoh iske sahare!

Aur Zindagi jeena chahiye katni nahi hain - waqt beetein bhale hih paar hum na kharach hoh.Jaab pehli baar dil tuta tow samajh mein aya tut tut ke choor choor hone ka koi fayeda nahi kyunki humesha pyaar ka pyaar ka saath hona bhi tow zaroori nahin.

PEHLI PYAAR KA Kahaani kabhi aur —-------

Aap ke liye pyaar kya hain?Apart from Bollywood Fans - I know Pyaar Dosti bhi haan!!!!!!Paar Dost seh kabhi pyaar nahin karna chahiye kyunki woh pyaar jaaye - tow Dost bhi……..Mere liye na Pyaar umeed hain -UMEED - “Meri subah ki nayi suraj tujhe paane ki khwaaish laati hain- 

Thoda aur qareeb seh mehsoosh karne ki dua laati hain, 

Adhoora sah yeh ishq mukkamal hoh jaye - 

Joh teri bhi aankhri chaahat hum baan jaye…”Ek aisi umeed joh har baar haar jaane ke baad bhi nahi kho ti - mil hih jaati aas phir seh dil lagane ki ? Aisa hih lagta hain… Hain na?Paar pata hain - saach hain yeh bhi ki dil tutega nahi tow koi jodega kaise aur sach tow yeh bhi ki umair Nazmi saab ne kaha tha - kibichhad gaye to ye dil umr bhar lagega nahin

lagega lagne laga hai magar lagega nahin

nahin lagega use dekh kar magar khush hai

main khush nahin hoon magar dekh kar lagega nahinPyaar mein Main pata hain kaha haar jaati hoon? - Mera yeh DIl jitna yeh dusro ka hoh jata hain, utna tow mera bhi nahi. 

Yeh Dil na sala Terms & Conditions pe chalta hih nahi - aur na hih koi boundaries dekhti hain!Pata hain dard kab hota hain? - Jab Dil tutta hain, ya jab apko dikhta hain ki saab sahi haain paar ap unke saath nahin rahe sakte :’)Dil ke pas ankhein aur dimag kaha hih hain?

Lekin Dimag kaafi chalak hain apna calculatins laga deta hain.

Because it has access to Eyes and Ears - aur yeh calculate karke shana baan jata hain.

Ab dekho we all know love is something that is beyond calculations. 

Dil Nadaan Aur Pyaar Ke mamle mein hum bhi Nadaan.

Dil humesha 4 padhav pe chalta hain joh har ek Insaan Mehsos kiya hain.

Pehla, Jab Dil ko koi chahta hain - aur aap ussseh bhau nahi dete hoh

Dusra, Jab Dil kisi ko chahta hain - aur woh apko bhau nahi dete hain

Tesra, Experiencing Heartbreak, Depression kyunki ab tow apki 2 naiya hih doob chukhi hain na.

Aur, anth mein jab ap khud ke khoj mein nikalte hoh.Pata hain meri poori kaahani Jahan Pyaar Mila, Par Saath Nahin ka hain

Ab, Main woh single joh apne 5 saal ke rishte seh bahar ayi tow - 3 saal aur beet gaye yeh samajhne mein ki - ki jab apka dil tutta hain na, You heal You Never Move On - girne wala story.

Zindagi mein pehla pyar aya tha jab hum school hote the tab bhi mujhe likhne ka shauq tabhi seh tha sirf rough copies pe ya school colleges magazines

Pe likhti rehti thi 

Dusri pyaar jab college mein huya tab pyar ki matlab thodi dih samajh mein ayi thi aur maine khudko kar usko pana zaroori samjha tha 

Maine ap ke badle kisi ek aise insaan ka sauda kiya jisne mere pyaar ko har mor par tadpaya 

Mental health - Depression- anxiety - panic attacks heal move on chor do 

Therapist- counselling - medications ajati hain beech mein hum sab familiar hain ish terms seh

Par until unless you walk in the path through my shoes you have no right to validate my issues

I’m beautiful with my scars - those are given by somebody I loved with all of what I had 

Despite knowing this when he chose to abandon me once for his ex and twice for his next - then who are you to judge me why I took antidepressant pills & therapist at this age?

Fuck second chances some people can never change honey.

 You don’t move on - you heal.

Jab ap gir jaatey hoh example.

Jab dusra pyar gaya main adhar seh mar chuki thi tab mujhe bachane ke jagah tumne sawal pe sawal uthaye zamana - ki kya huya chor diya? Kaat gaya ? Areeeh shaadi karne wale the na? Itna open and posting and All.

Tow ab mein khud ki nishaan mitane jaun tow phir sawal- yeh ajkal ke bacche- unhe zyada chuth nhi do. Kya hoti hain yeh depression humare time pe hum tow nahi the aise.

Apke time pe tow apni family abuse, violence, dowry aur na na jaaaney kya kya accept karke baithe hoh tab sawal uthaye hote tow - aj Aurtein aur beetiyon ke maa baap ko sir jhukaye yaha kahi aj bhi daabi nahi paye jaatey.

Tow jab yeh dusra pyar gaya I was in Jordan phase baba questioned Mahadev for giving me hard days and heart breaks 

Ab kyunki Mera dil nahi toot chahiye that I did my first attempt of killing myself - I attempted suicide by overdosing on a lot of antidepressant pills I was taking for my mental health.

Yeah, I did that. 

Trust me doesn’t matter how big the  mistakes I made or what the mistakes I made - the only thing that matters was realising I made a mistake of attempting to kill myself desperately baba - I regret doing that .AUR GULZAAR SAAB NE TO KYA KHOOB KAHA KI - “YEH ISHQ MOHABBAT KE RIWAYATEIN BHI BADE AJEEB HAIN PAYA NAHIN JISKO USSEH KHONA BHI NAHIN CHAHTE…”Ke Tumhe Pata hain na tum dono ka saath mein koi future nahi-(2)Uska haath bhale hih tumne thaam rakha hain - par woh tumhare lakeroon mein tow nahin, Dil mein woh tumhari phir bhi hain - Qismaat ka pata nahi..Zehen mein yeh saare baatein hain - Naseeb ka koi dosh nahi,,,Tumhe tow yeh saab kuch maluum hain - phir bhi nahin keh sakte na —--- (2)KI, TUMHE USSEH PYAAR NAHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Do you believe in manifestation?? - I too do - I do this 11:11 thing - 11:11am & pm I do manifest I have a particular alarm set for this on my device. Aur Zindagi chal rahi thi dheere dheere haule haule -  mujhe tab woh mila — ugghhh yaar meri dil kaafi kaamzoor hain…

So, I met him. I was on that verge jahan mein depression, anxiety, anxiety ke ankhri padhav pe thi - survivor hoon bhaisaab - ab dawaiya nahin lagti.Pata hain, kuch insaan na sirf kuch hisse ke hih qisse hote hain par saach kahoon woh life long lessons de jaatey hainThe moment when I had a hard fallback - uthne ka pata nahin par main pata hain ajeeb seh hih hoh gayi thi - bas recover kar rahi thi ek daud seh - also I tell you I embrace my vulnerabilities because I believe we all look beautiful with our scars so is the moon right !!!!!Pehli baar jab hum mile the... ek chhoti si birthday party thi meri dost let’s call her Zoya,(zaroori thodi hain hain ki haar kahani ki kirdar o ko samne laya jaye) ek ajeeb si rush bhari sham,

aur main — hamesha ki tarah — apni duniya mein khoi hui chatterbox.

Tab woh dikha mujhe...  Let’s call him Ashiq.— ek kone mein baitha tha, halki si muskurahat ke saath,

jaise chaand apne aap mein muskurata hai, kisi ko bina disturb kiye.Naam bhi aisa jaise kisi purane kahani ke shehzade ka.

Woh ek kone mein baitha tha, halki muskaan ke saath,

aise jaise kuch nahi bolna, sirf mehsoos karna jaanta ho.

Main chatterbox thi... woh ekdum shaant.

Main lafzon ki baarish karti thi... woh aankhon se saawan barsata tha.Usne apne baare mein bataya, aur main apne - aise adhe adhe seh hum thode poore huye tow sahi…uska chehra jaise ek purani kitaab ho, jisme har ek padhav ek kahani, har ek lafz ek ehsaas chhupaya gaya ho.

Uska rang… kuch aisa ki jaise sooraj apne saare rang uski jeb mein daal kar usko bhej de, jo pal mein andhera door ho jaye.

Aur woh, na jaane kyun, jaise sapne se zyada haqiqaat ho.

Main Aur Meri Bimariyan

Kehte hain na,

Jab waqt kharab hoh toh kuch dhundhla nahi dikhta - sab clean & clear hain :

Waise I’m writing this - 11:17 pm from my bed #324

Woodlands HDU.I asked “ Likhna allowed hain ?? “ She said - “ Thodi der likhne de sakti honn apko mapn baaki apko phir sona padhega - you have to take proper rest.”“Okay, sister.”She got me pen and paper Phone HDU mein allow nahi hoteSister Mallicka, umr mein mujhse choti par hasiyat kayi zyaadi zimmadariyann uthati sister yaar.“ thanks for the pen and the paper, to her for that day/”

So, this patient “324” - whose identity is

Yours, Sree the Sunflower - 

Let me tell you, once you get admitted, your only 

identity is patient & it’s bed number , just like

Jail - everything is almost similar except  

Respect, Love & Sympathy/Empathy.(Elaborate story)

Tow mujhe kuch status migranosis huya tha long 72 hrs migraine attack - during these days they provided me a therapist or a I do better say a psychologist because of my sleep apnea amd all - I started reshaping life and started looking for myself as I always believed who writes her own story might be just being too harsh on herself and needs to give her a break during these days I found myself to be busy around such conversations which I never really highlighted or spoken enough about let’s do this let’s god rid of this migraine which made me bed ridden - away from my home (mic, stage & people ) Bed Number #324 Apke hawale - Main Aur Meri Bimariyan main inse tow chutkara paa hih lungi paar aap aapke bimaariyon ka kiya In between all these had to let go my radio show - also main lights, music, shows ab zyaada kar nahi paa rahi thi - 1 mahiney seh zyada tow bimar phir bed ridden phir bed rest ophir doc ne thoda aur waqt laga adjust karke hoke apko theek hone main - kaafi kuch palak jhapak apna joh saloon lagte hain mehenat ke sath yeh fal milte woh cheen rahe hain mujhseh - Aur, Woh Bhi Ek Daud tha Jab Main Jordan Sree Seh Bunny jaise Awari Sree Ban Gayi!!!

I want to live mujhe marna nahi hain. - Sun lena before it’s too late!

Haan humesha khud seh yahi daurayi hoon ki mujhe thoda aur jeena hain 

Har bar ki tarah ek akhri baar ki tamam koshis o ke bawajud main bach hih gayi bas maut ko tak ke chu ke wapas aagayi!!!

Sahi kehte hain log kal bhi uska kya bigade joh Mahakal bhaakt hoh!

Par main hih khud hih apni kaal bani thi

Meri ladayi khud seh hain thi.

Hi I am Awari Sree yuin toh bas kahaniyan aur Kavitaon seh sukoon bat ti phirti hoon paar aj sirf ek ehsaas bayan karungi ek jazbat agey rakhungi just like sharing an experience to save another Sree. narrate - jordan to kundan to ved to bunny

Shayad Main jaise Main ko bacha paun tow suna deti hoon.

Listeners indeed need listeners too 

Speakers need speakers too - 

Yaar dekho sirf itna kehna hih ki, Sun lena before it’s too late!

Kehte ke koi samay seh pehle jaye tow purpose of the life pura hoh gaya tha - tumhe kya pata uske kitne sapne adhoore reh gaye joh.

Samay seh zyada tow punnya kiye honge - tumhe kiya pata agar woh andhar seh toote huye aur akele huye tow.

Aur joh khud ki marzi seh khud ka antth likhta hoh - usseh kayar kehte hoh - 

Sach kahu tow they’re the bravest to not fall for themselves even - they are the bravest not to be able to love themselves even 

Falling in love is the easiest thing in the universe - hum sab self-love ke baare baat karte hain because deep inside we all know how much we all need self-inner love along with the outer “partner love” -

Khud seh pyar karna bohot asaan hain!

hain na ? 

Kya huya nahi ? - khud pe ayi tow yaar main hih kyun? Main kaise?

Tow kisi dusro pe ayi tow woh kaafir usne apni jaan dedi!

Tumhe kya pata kis muqaaam pe woh pahunch chuka hoga dard ke us pahad ko usne chadh liya hoga bas age dariya tha tow woh behegayi ab aur khudko rok nahi payi

Kyunki sabse asaan hota hain pyaar karna  yuin hoh jaati hain - par khud seh nahin kisi aur seh aram seh hoh jaati hain tabhi tow hum khudko Kho ke dusro ko apnate hain aur jab wahi shaqs chor ke jaye na apse apki ruh cheen jati hain mano apki parchaai apsee dur bhag gayi 

Kya wajood reh jaata hain - insaan andhar seh puri khatam hoh chuki hoti hain puri 

Mar tow main us din hih gayi tow tab kyun nahi aye ab agar bas is sharir ko chor jaun tow main kaafir kyun kehlaungi!

Tab na main Jordan thi aur woh Ekdum sahi kehe the - “ ki mujhe na yeh saab kooch nahi chahiye bas mera dil nahi tootna chahiye.”

I repeat back then for the first time when my heart broke and all I said too mera dil nahi tootna chahiye tha - 

Tabhi tow khud ki self-respect gand mar aye we beg the person to stay the person to live with us - we try hard to get them back!

We forget about dignity- it’s hard to love our self baba !

Dusro seh itni jaldi itni zyada pyar joh kardete hain hum 

Tow aj ke baad kabhi koi apni jaan de dena tow usseh uthakar ussih seh kehne usne apne ap ko mukti diya hain!

Naki questions their sanity.

Dekho I know zillat tohamat and 1000 sawaals 100 100 pieces of advice and dialogue suggestions are gonna cause my parents a lot of trouble phir bhi main yeh kahaani aj sunaungi kisi ek aur Sree ko bachaungi.

Ek manch ek mic aur ap sab sunne wale log kaafi hoh mere dard ko samhal ne ke liye.Zindagi mein pehla pyar aya tha jab hum school hote the tab bhi mujhe likhne ka shauq tabhi seh tha sirf rough copies pe ya school colleges magazines

Pe likhti rehti thi 

Dusri pyaar jab college mein huya tab pyar ki matlab thodi dih samajh mein ayi thi aur maine khudko kar usko pana zaroori samjha tha 

Maine ap ke badle kisi ek aise insaan ka sauda kiya jisne mere pyaar ko har mor par tadpaya 

Mental health - Depression- anxiety - panic attacks heal move on chor do 

Therapist- counselling - medications ajati hain beech mein hum sab familiar hain ish terms seh

Par until unless you walk in the path through my shoes you have no right to validate my issues

I’m beautiful with my scars - those are given by somebody I loved with all of what I had 

Despite knowing this when he chose to abandon me once for his ex and twice for his next - then who are you to judge me why I took antidepressant pills & therapist at this age?

Fuck second chances some people can never change honey.

 You don’t move on - you heal.

Jab ap gir jaatey hoh example.

Jab dusra pyar gaya main adhar seh mar chuki thi tab mujhe bachane ke jagah tumne sawal pe sawal uthaye zamana - ki kya huya chor diya? Kaat gaya ? Areeeh shaadi karne wale the na? Itna open and posting and All.

Tow ab mein khud ki nishaan mitane jaun tow phir sawal- yeh ajkal ke bacche- unhe zyada chuth nhi do. Kya hoti hain yeh depression humare time pe hum tow nahi the aise.

Apke time pe tow apni family abuse, violence, dowry aur na na jaaaney kya kya accept karke baithe hoh tab sawal uthaye hote tow - aj Aurtein aur beetiyon ke maa baap ko sir jhukaye yaha kahi aj bhi daabi nahi paye jaatey.

Tow jab yeh dusra pyar gaya I was in Jordan phase baba questioned Mahadev for giving me hard days and heart breaks 

Ab kyunki Mera dil nahi toot chahiye that I did my first attempt of killing myself - I attempted suicide by overdosing on a lot of antidepressant pills I was taking for my mental health.

Yeah, I did that. 

Trust me doesn’t matter how big the  mistakes I made or what the mistakes I made - the only thing that matters was realising I made a mistake of attempting to kill myself desperately baba - I regret doing that .Pata, hain kya that was my moment of realization to figure out that kya hih hain jeevan, kya hih ego, kya hih ruth jaana kisi seh - yeh pal aj hain kal na hoh toh ?Matlab itni choti sih choti seh hain zindagi agar khudki jeeyo tow karz ke jeeyoge tow mushkil thodi sih - Khud ke hisse ke jeeyo pehle thoda khudgarz hoh jao kya pata kal hoh na hoh ?

Ghar wapasi is me returning back to my stage, my mic, my listeners, my people - this stage gives me immense strength kamre 4 log apne 2 baatein nahi boli jaatein kamre 400 log paaraye hoh phir 200 baatein dil ki nikal jaatein hain aisa hain stage I feel the warmth of home here - like I feel so safe of being who I am here - like narrating stories - the best of stories - we like almost every stories - by we I meant reads we like right - but we only love stories which make us feel it belongs to us - it’s mine..Tow jaab kuch nahi thi phir bhi - kisi ke beti, behen, dost, didi - aur zimmedariyan phir nibha leti thi ohhh itni layak thi ek corporate employee bhi matlab kuch na kuch tow hoh hih jaata agar yeh nahi hota - Lekin un dino when I was bedridden all with guilts - I scrolled instagram saw mic post ( discuss this story not more than 1 min ) Yaar, 1 paal nahi laga is stage ko is abandoned aurat pyaar dene anjaan logon ke beech taaliyan, appreciation, parchiyan, letters I just felts main nahi tow mere shabd hih sahi ab un hisso aur logon ko jodenge jinhe maine kabhi nahin toda Explain - how you doing? - healing - ya tow khud ko ya kisi aur ko woh depends aur silent hih rehta (भगवद्गीता, अध्याय 2, श्लोक 47). - Karm karte jao , fal ke chinta na karo - Lekin dekho jitne mere paap hain ab itne punye hona bhi tow chahiye tow balance sheet tow saturn dev pass - naam nahi le sakte I am from bengali family - show wow charo mummy bohot marengi agar is chakkar mein ghar kalesh huya tow - Hain tow is liye kaabhi kabhi even after my ache karm I do accept my ghate ka fal too Because in return kuch milna hih zindagi hota tow ek tarfa pyar aur arijit sing ke sad romantic songs itne nahi chalte na 

Tow dekho two things with mahadev jinhe sab abandon kardete unhe he accepts with no ved vau and ap badhaye kitne bhi woh rakhshak hain koi nahi hain Now by this time I knew mujhe stage seh ab koi nahi alag kar sakte chahiye ek tarfa pyaar kyun na hoh Ab bachpan sabka nahi hota pilot, scientist, teacher, main teacher banna chahti jisko universe excite karte the maths darate the physics bore karte the sirf planets khwaab dikhate the - College mein aatey ab rough copies seh magazine tak puch gayi thi tow sapne bohot aukat seh bahar dekhne lage the because my mom always said - “ Bada sapne dekhegi tabhi tow kuch na kuch kar payegi,,”Tow main aj bhi wahi karti hoon -Mereko tab seh radio jockey bada interest tha yaar I used to listen red fm, 91.9 for jimmy sir, and you want believe maine kaha kis kis ko mail audition pitches nahi bheje Nahi huya - main khwab bhooli nahi like I say never move on we heal - Maine aj taak apne saare na poore huye khwaabon - Daraz ke kisi kone mein chupi huyi ek tasveer ki tarah

Ya phir dhul bhari woh diary ki panno pe katoon bhari us gulaab mein joh yaad qaid hain unhe azad kaise karte hain waise rakhan hain - Jisdin yeh saab ek ekPoore karenge ……… yeh khud be khud azaad honge 

Pata hain pehli baar scratch seh suru karna tha jab zindagi seh mauka lena tha - stage ne pyaar tofa diya tha taakey main dil ke daar bhula doon

Ab dubara agar giri hoon main is baar khud ke marzi ke khilaf sach mein bimaar hoh gayi waisa ek story hain you know in bengali - “bagh poreche - explain”And strictly prohibited working overloaded or doing anything overburdeneding avoid stress causing factors  - maine tow pehle ghumke dekha mirror dikhau woh toh main khud hih hoon - 10 bje ke andhar sona padhega Ab flashback yeh sab huya 4th july ko I was admitted isseh pehle mushkil seh bohot mehnet, struggle lagti hain 2023 main ek RJ hunt jiti thi Mirchi Bangla wahi seh woh jaake 2025 i got some opportunity woh bhi lasted for two month kyunki meri show raat ke hote hain - life sorted mast mujhe kya pata tha haar sar dard saridon aur ankhon ki dard nahi hoti par koi bhi dard itni badi tow nahi hoti ki woh apke dil ke hausle tod agar apka dilka hausla buland hoh Shayad main itna letting go pe zyada charcha karchuki hoon I let it because I had to i had no option guys Do waqt roti kapda makan log bolte bhai muhe woh 4 waqt ke medicine lene padhte neuro meds oh my god bhai kya drowsy hain Aree yaar dost itne acche - (explain bbf nashe - with syrup tell me kaunsa hain nasha }Explain migraine effects you had dark effects - light issue - music issue - high pitch talking so , even after loosing all over after achieving it - I reminded myself of the awari sree who I was I was noone nothing still loved and yes belonged to my home stage - My stage, My mic and to my people you mere apne log sunne wale log And you know what shiva is a destroyer unko apnaoge, manoge bologe aake baasey tow shiva jaise hain apnaiye woh apko sampoorn todenge purn tarike seh bananeke liye Aur jab tumhe pata chaal jaaye tum mein shamta akele jaake phahado mein bhi bas jaane ki phir chinta kis baat ke main phir koshish karega, baba……Pata hain skill set karte hain hum saab  - Yeh sabse important skill hain joh linkedIn ka pata nahi life pe bohot kaam ayega - kabhi na haar maane wali skill set joh - maine usi daafa set karli thi - Main girti, uthti, samhlti hoon par haar nahi manti hoon woh dictionary main nahi dekho woh joh milke chut gaye woh nahi kuch aur yeh stage kal ko - connect with your homecoming your striving back - your comeback to your stage even if it is not to certain things it is always to your stage …And by this I meant chooth jaane wale woh haar cheez rishte, kaam, khwaab, sapne, achievements, insaan…..Ab is daurahan main huyi bed rest - oh god yaar poori poori khandaan hih pagala dekho I am full fluffy panda because I am not only home sick but I love to be home mostly but ab aise bhi qaid nahi yaar - tow abh the tow the Ab ghar main ek sawal joh har jagah common aur adulting ko really hard bana dete, hum bade hote hain humare sath humare aas pas ke log bhi bade hote hain - like parents, family ughhhhhhh okay fine rishtedaarsss  - I mean relatives ……..How many of us often face - “Get Married! - Beta Tum Shaaadi kaaab karoge??Woh joh log kehte hain na shaadi karte huye nahi ? 

Kyun nahi karna tujhe shaadi?

Kya karan hain ? Kyaa re shaadi kab kar rahe hoh ?Bonu, Biye ta korbi?And I am like, why, baba?Na ma biye ta kortei hoye settle hote!?” - to audience Do you want to get me married because that only gives me a stable identity, a secure freedom, and a life to live?

Standing in 2o25, I again pledge to consider myself to be self-dependent and settled as Ms. Maity only and get married - 

Jab qayde seh Mohabbat hogi  

Aur itni hogi Mohabbat hogi  

Tumse na jaane kitni aur chahiye  

hogi?

How badly I wanted to tell you just like any other ved aur puraan katha koi rishi muni ke shraap ke andhar hoon mainThe curse of not being loved 

Broken marriages suna hain issi karan seh hote hain kyunki sirf apke lagne seh shaadi karlene padhte hain……….

Woh joh log kehte hain na shaadi karte kyun nahi ? 

Kyun nahi karna tujhe shaadi?

Kya karan hain ? Kyaa re shaadi kab kar rahe hoh ? 

Because I’ve been cursed by 

Some spell

The curse of not being loved Shaadi meri liye sirf rishta nahi ek ehsaas hain sath janmon ka lifetime planning hain - pehle log divorce khusphusake bolte the aur ab Broken marriages bol class highlight kardete hain Wah re hypocrite, Modern society!

Shaadi mein saath tow hote hain paar nibha nahi paate hain hain kyunki pyaar nahi hota hain 

Jisse saath janam sath vaade aur sathe phere liye hoh joh maang bhare zaroori hain kya unse prem hoh 

Pati patni mata pita sab kehlayi par premi ka bhagi na bhaye haye haye 

Mohe bin prem aisi zindagi raas na aaye 

Asal mein 2 logon ke beech prem hona is so anavariya fuck my jazbaat 

Dekho kyun zabardasti kisi ke kundli milani jab yeh generation pehle kehdiya hain 

Fuck kundliyas let us match vibes bas 

I normalise apni terms per zindagi jio jab shaadi karni hain karo na karni hain maat karo pehle prem karo to be loved is wonderful. I have tasted all shits and I highly recommend loving someone and letting them feel loved duniya gol hain is loop mein chain mein. You’re going to be loved too 

But I'm this mid-28 awkwardly stuck between fully grown Gen Z and millennials, and us hardly baked mixed breeds also after tasting everything, being old school still highly recommend people to stop ghosting, gaslighting, love bombing, bombarding, benching, bread crumbing, and of course not to be a navy officer and to go for situation ship.

I mean, Baba yaar, please, logic, 

You people can watch movies, poems, porn, cook food, dance, eat, bath, fight, shit, fart, sleep together, but still not commit to each other to be together. 

Oh my god 

Love is lost. 

When I was young and dumb. 

Love is still lost.

When I’m a grown-up and numb.

Love is meant to be lost.

Till the time I rise in it and climb.

Woh joh yaad hain 

Isseh agar khule hawa main pinjre seh bahar chod dene seh 

Tum azad hoke abad karsakoge joh ishq tow karlo

Yaadein humesha barbaad hih karti hain

Love is lost. 

When I was young and dumb. 

Love is still lost.

When I’m a grown-up and numb.Time and Tide really waits for none..

so, let’s not stop,,

Keep

Weaving your stories-

As you’re the writer of your Story only…

Love is meant to be lost.

Till the time I rise in it and climb.Tow mere apne logon ko na lagne lag gaye ki yaar isne na abhi taak move on nahi kiya ab ab - move on concept hih galat hain guys jab mera dil pehli baar kisini toda when I was in my twenties and I experienced my first heartbreak dekho ab aap kisi pe bohot efforts daalo - saalo aisi sapne dekho ki haain iske ageh maine atleast kuch nahi soch rakha nhai kuch bhi hoh jaye yeh admi dhoka tow nahi dega palti tow nahi marega I mean uska tow koi haq nahi banta hain bhai ki pyar main kya aisa majboori hoh jaye joh yeh jaane tumhe pyaar seh itna pyaar ki uske jaane kabhi wapas tumhe pyaar nahi pyaar nahi hoga woh tumhe dhokaAnd the fun fact is cheating is never a mistake it is always a choice Jaab mera dil tuta na saab seh pehle tow yeh samajhli thi - tut ke chur chur hone ka koi fayeda nahi tumhare pyaar ka tumhare pas hona bhi tow humesha zaroori nahi .Main batana chahti thi bas –Ki, mujhe bhi na kabhi pyar huya tha, jo mujhse bilkul alag tha & the world says, opposite attracts -  

Mujhe toh humesha seh hih pyaar pyaara lagta tha na - 

Kitna bhi koshis karlu, yeh tedtalk wali baatein karke sreethesunflower wali didi banke 2 positive baatein ki pyaar tow pyaar hain par pyaar jaaye tow pyaar seh nafrat hone lagti hain toh har saal na vo wapas aane ka campaign laga ta tha yahi campaign ki mujhe wapas le le yaar

aur jab tum yeh samajh jaao na ki tumhe koi insaan se pyar tha kyonki vo kabhi koi insaan joh bilkul joh tumhe chaiye waise hua karta tha and then suddenly he changed and showed he truly was never really that he whom she really loves ab to woh  kabhi nahin waise woh sakta hai yah jaan lena ki tumhe us insaan se to pyar hamesha rahega jo hua karta tha par hi yeh jo hai ise ab kabhi pyar nahin hogaAur yeh joh duvida hain na maan sala ab andhar jaa paye is insan ke pas na baahar kahi shanti basaya paayeHalat kuch aisa ki tum na kisi aur ko bhi samjha pao

Par jab pasandeeda shaqs kisi apka dil todne lag jaye toh jaan lena  

Absolutely dil utar jaye  

Nahi chahiye – respectfully – nahi chaiye ab woh woh insaan  

Jinke liye tum to yuin chaand taare tod laa sakte hoh - 

Paar woh bas pal pal tumh todta hain…

Wohi insaan jinko kholke tum na rakh pao  

Wahi insaan jisko khoke tum na rahoge tum - Aur tumko khoke hih mil jaata hain usko apna next -

Nahi chahiye – respectfully – nahi chaiye ab woh woh insaan  

Jinko dil mein basaye,din-raat puje, dil haare jis aake - Joh hai pasandeeda maanka - woh ab kinko chahiye -

Chahiye toh aise koi, 

Chahiye woh pasandeeda hoh ya na – par hoh yuin mere roobaru  

Bilkul mere jaise mujhemein samaya - 

Mujhe rota dekh – behe jaye uske anse bhi  

bharke mujhe apne baahon mein aur dil se  

poochein – “Kaise karleti ho aap yeh sab?” –  

sahi baat

“Kaise karleti ho aap yeh sab?” –  

“Matlab, itna saab kuch akeli, shaant hooke seh leti hoh tum?”

“Toofan hoh ya Andhi seh daandt ke laad leti hain aap…

Apko nahi pata – kitni kamaal seh saab kuch samhal leti hain aap”

Dekho, sabse pehel jawab dena banta tha maine diya - “Mujhe to wyeh bhi nhai pata nahi - Abhi pata chala hain love is not only about opposite attracts - How come I never knew in love – it also works  

“You’re so one – I’m so you …” 

And this part of my life - is God’s plan

Woh kehte hain na in halaton mein the best is jab khud ke man ka nahi hota nahi hota hain taab sab unke bharose chod do for once do nothing don’t put efforts at all in finding what your craving and scared of the most love

Tumhe pyar seh dar bhi aur pyar chahiye bhi you’re craving to falling love with one person again again again and again 

At that same time you’re tired enough and scared of to be loved no no it’s about trust you’re scared to be abandoned 

You don’t want to be treated like this again 

You don’t want to feel awful and it’s always not about your partner 

Yaar haain humn over think like woh 4 log humare baaare kya hih bolenge kya hih sochenge hum khud hih itna soch lete hain

{explain overthinking}

सफर main पम kaha नसब hote ह ??Mahadev came into my dreams and said neither little less in you nor little more in him it’s always the equal halves of your both 

The equal halves of you completes each other to form me I’m with in you both

Tum Shiv seh prem mangoge woh khud prem banke ajayenge 

Khwaab saarein ummed baan Barsenge yuin 

Jaise saawan basrsaat khud unhe jaal chadhaane aate

Dekho god ka plan yahi tha pichle baar tum apne marzi seh gaye I showed you what you deserve lo kahaaani buno aur sunao na logon ko kahaani jaao bataaon And you what kahaani is god’s plan is all about - apko kahaani bataani tow hoti hain par apni nahi hum saab ki socho isiliye azaad kar rahi hoon aaj isi sree ki kahaani taaki azaad hoh paaye haar sree ki kahaani - Bed Number #324 discharged apke hawale - hum sabko apna pyaar mile!...................In the end it is always about - The one whom you believe has already heard the unheard, seen the unseen and have bigger plans for you to discharge.Anth woh joh saab bigade hain woh saab theek kardenge - Yeh bharosa jitne unpe rakhna utna hih khud pe rakhna hain - kyunki khud kuch nahi karoge tow woh bhi kuch nahi karpayenge - Dekho ektarfa bhi shayad pyaar hota hoga - aur pehle mohabbat ke jaane ke baad dusre ke daar bohot lagta hoga par ankhir kabtak kabtak yeh nare lagaoge - insaab cheezon ko validate karoge just to validate your investments, your efforts are not being in vain - anjaam tumhe jaab tutne haain tut ke bikhr abhi jao bad mein kyun Pyaar mein hum pata hain kaha haar jaatey hain -jitna yeh dil sala humara nahi hota utna yeh dusro ka hoh jata hain - Aur kya woh - hain, “ jisseh hum chahte hain woh hume kaha chahte hain - aur jisko hum chahiye  wo kise chahiye..."Such derogatory towards your ownself tumhe kyun hih aisa prem mein apna time waste karna jahan efforts, emotions, time sab invest tum karoge - waste bhi tumhara - mental peace tumhara jaaye yaar pagal bhi tow apna accha samajh ta hain  - Yeh kitna accha uplift comedy dialogue tha - tume chaho zindagi ghumao lekin nahi men are so simple isko meme bana diye - but pathetic meme ki socho - Tum asal mein aise kise insaan seh validation mangte hoh jisseh tumhare existence seh koi fark nahi padhta - aur yaha koi tumhe chahta - wo kise chahiye iska tum dhyan maaat do - uske DMs mein log bhade padhe honge - woh joh tumhe chahte hain socho jis tum woh jinhe tumhe chahte hoh worthless feel karte by not giving the shit about the fact you love them - And here someone’s world is you Someone can paint the world red for youDie for Can travel to moon for youDance on stars for you Bring sunflowers for you wo kise chahiye… ka tow definitely nahi pata but you should give it a try a chance to  love here - mauka zindagi bar nahi deti - yaar katne lagoge zindagi tow lambi lagegi babumosai, Waqt beetein bhale hih par hum na kharch hoh - kyun, zindagi katni nahi chahiye, jeeni chahiye Bohot choti lagegi jis din jeeyoge - kya pata kal hoh na hoh …………. Is liye haar ek paal ko jee lo, baba….Aur agar pyaar mein sahi maine seh prem mein rehna hain - tow dekho aise tum kisi ko chaho woh tumhe bhao na de, tumhe koi aur chahiye tum usseh bhao na do aise 3 zindagi yuin barbad karne seh behtar life is not always about taking steps forward - kabhi kabhi take a step take a pause love back that person who loves - choose them who chose you over anyone else - don’t sit at that table again, if they talked about you when you were not there that remember you said you were not well, select your people that ‘s how you create your boundaries, your walls, your mental peace is protected likewise.Dekho, Kundan bhi tow wapas Bindiya ke pas as an option gaya tha - kitni khoobsoorat kahaani prem ki woh banti agar usne bhi waha pyaar dekha hota - bas kyunki, humhe pyaar nahi mil raha just for that don’t go back to that one who loves you - kyunk kisis ke saatht woh saab wapas karna joh tum khud nahi chahte ab doobare tumhare saath hoh Uske pas jaana hoh maan seh pehle jao - timepass karne nahi uske liye log - gym, movies, clubbing, adde marne jaate kisi ke feelings ke saath khelne nahin.Kyunki, tum nahi chahte na, ab tumhare saath yeh sab dobara and believe when I say this what goes around that comes around…Isseh loop chalte rehna aur pyaar seekh jaana aur hum saabikho phir mil bhi jaana hain - maine prem sikha mahedev seh world’s first love marriage, longing, waiting, sacrifices, unconditional love, true to oneself, 

Dekho, Mahadev agar prem sikhate toh duniya ka matlab hi badal jaata. Unke liye prem matlab swatantrata, kisi ko apna bana kar baandhna nahi, balki usse khula aasmaan dena. Unke liye prem matlab tap, ek aisa dhyaan jahan tum khud ko bhool jao aur saamne wale mein Shiv ko dekh lo.

Aur honestly, mujhe lagta hai Shiv ne prem sikhaya hai, lekin class-room style nahi. Unhone dikhaya hai, jee kar. Unka aur Parvati ka rishta, bas ek living example hai. Na power games, na ego trip, na drama. Sirf ek doosre ka samarpan.

Toh haan, agar Mahadev prem “sikhate”, toh hum sabko ek hi baat samajh aati,  prem possess karna nahi hai, prem hona hai.

Tum batao… tumhe lagta hai aajkal ke prem mein wo “Shiv wala tattva” missing hai?

Aajkal ka prem zyada transaction jaisa lagta hai, “main itna dunga, tu itna dega.”Love is never 50 - 50 / 70 -30 , 20 -80 … Shiv wala prem toh transcendence tha - na hisaab, na shart, na expectation.Aise prem mein mujhse puchoge kaise prem chahiye - “Ek-e Onyo’r Basha” (Home in Each Other) 🌻Emon ekta prem hok jeta vanguk, goruk, raag, obhiman sob niye 

Kintu Soto jonmo thakuk lekha sudhu toke amake niye 

Ei chere jawa, hariye jawa, theme jawar generation eo

Ek ey oporke ektu bujhe niye cholar jibon hok tor amar 

Jekhane prem mane sudhu mithye chhobi ba filter noy,

Prem mane chokher joleo ekshathe hashte sekha .

Jekhane jhogra amader alada kore na dey,

Biporite shei jhogra-i abar amader kachey taney,

Ar protidin hok notun diner moto

Bhalobashar notun shuru.

Emon ekta prem hok,

Bhangar moddhe thakuk srishti, haranor moddhe thakuk paoa.

Ar ei chiro-anischoyatar shomoy-eo,

Tui aar ami,

Ek-e onyo’r shorbo-shesh basha hoye🌻

Emon ekta prem hok,

ja vanguk, goruk, raag, obhiman sob niye,

kintu shesh porjonto jibon ta thakuk

lekha sudhu tor aar amar golpo diye.

Ei chere jawa, hariye jawa,

theme jawa’r generation-er moddheo,

Ek-e onyo’r kache thaka,

ek-e onyo ke bujhe niye cholar shokti hok amader.

Jekhane prem mane sudhu mithye chhobi noy,

ba filter diye sajano hashi noy,

Prem mane chokher joleo ekshathe hashte sekha.

Prem mane hothat kothao chole giyeo abar fire asha.

Prem mane, toke hariye fele-o

shei nijer modhyei tomaye khuje pawa.

Emon ekta prem hok,

ja vanguk, goruk, raag, obhiman sob niye,

Kintu soto bar ar proti ebong bar bar bar tui ar ar ami pori jeno amader moto manush er preme 

Ek-e onyo’r shorbo-shesh basha hoye🌻

Erom ekta prem amader sokoler hok - never give up on your dreams, love, and yourself - go out on hiking, take that solo trip - that solo date but before everything stop pushing yourself to every edge not everything and anything is content and not everything and anything meant to be stories - sometimes creators and their creations need vacations - take a break First & foremost, go and find yourself first - Kyunki, BABA, yaaar you matters.

Waqt and phase - guzaar jaega

Like I said time & tide waits for none - kyunki wat accha hoh bura guzaar hih jaaega, woh waqt hain

Just a phase,

Everything shall pass, only happiness and your own people who really values you shall stay.

Tow jeeyo dil kholke thoda nahi poora sahi apne haq ke hisse ka musqurat ki ahe bhar - aur thak jao kabhi bhi joh yaad rahegi yeh awari sree ki kahani joh bachayenge kisi dusre tesre aware ko bho par thehrav bin prem kahan tum bhul jaana par sab seh pehle thokar chahiye kahlo, gir chahie kitne baar na jao par haar kabhi nahi manoge - kyun yahi jeevan hain aur jeena isika naam hain.

Kyunki Aaj bhi mere liye - Zindagi ka doosra sabse bada pachtawa bas kamyaab na hona hoga… pehla toh abhi bhi wahi hai: 💔pyaar mein haar jana”

Aur iske saath - Bed Number #324 apke hawale discharged -

Hum sabhiko pyaar mil hih jaega - Hum sabhi sirf pyaar baatenge ……..

By Debasree Maity