Pleading For Patience

By Khalelia Ahmad

“Please be patient, don’t rush the things  

that lay idle in my heart for me to say, 

Be patient with me, it indeed means to  

wait as I decide if you’re safe enough, 

To allow my fears to finally escape the lie  

that I swallow for a safe space to hide, 

Somewhere to avoid drowning from a guy  

who has the potential to make me cry. 

Just wait a little longer, now isn’t the time  

to push me out of bed to make me stretch,  

Further and wider than my limbs intend  

as I’m just girl, human too, can’t you tell? 

I’ve stretched before, so much that I  

started to ache, a plate hitting the floor, 

Too fragile to catch myself before the  

tremor of first love’s famous heartbreak. 

Sick of it? Don’t have it in you to make me  

feel comfortable enough, can’t even wait, 

Well isn’t that great, so I’ll ask of you to  

walk away from a welcome you overstayed, 

Let’s roll up the red carpet, won’t need it  

anymore, and this grand heart of mine, 

Please, just leave her alone, she can’t risk  

it anymore, love me or leave me, what for? 

What’s the point if you can’t respect me  

for the thorns I grew from my last mourn, 

And it’s you I truly adore, but God forbid  

I lose myself again to get my heart torn, 

You know the lore, legend, folklore of all I  

did for love, keeping the lilies afloat, 

In you I see hope, to have it again but  

your guard makes me sink, I can’t drown. 

Not again, can’t afford to fall again if  

judgement is all I receive from your end, 

Cause I’m sick and tired of being my own  

knight in shining amour to fend for me, 

Why defend them? You’re supposed to  

care about me, your cuts make me bleed, 

And they’re not even that deep, it’s not  

that deep but now I don’t want to speak. 

Some things I shouldn’t have to repeat but  

I do, the things I would do for you, please, 

If the Great Wall of China is a border  

people walk then respect my boundaries! 

I’m tired of putting up so many walls to  

keep you outside the door, just wait, 

I still have to mop the floor and clear up  

the mold, it’s not ready for you yet. 

Or maybe I am, but it could just be that  

you’re not ready for me, to see my mess, 

The poetic piles of stress and pain, you  

can’t handle the load that sits in my lane, 

Not ready to even ask me on a date or to  

even share a bed, or a dessert on a plate, 

And they call me lame, the comments I  

ignore, till in my head, it’s a trainwreck. 

Then I’m on clean up again, so please just  

wait, make me feel warm while I debate, 

Be patient with me, as lovers should when  

one arrives late to the station, after eight, 

It’s still so early in the day, sun is still yet  

to rise and spread its warmth and heat, 

By the time it’s noon, maybe we’ll be ready  

to talk about it, and my thoughts of you.” 

By Khalelia Ahmad