Perhaps The Only Cure For Grief Is To Grieve

By Vanshika Gupta

I can’t breathe, I can’t speak, I can’t even cry. I’m losing my faith, do you know why? Cuz everyone around me is losing their lives. Drive-bys, heart attacks, and suicide.

Why did any of them have to go away? Why do my tears fall every day? Does anyone understand how I’m feeling? I need the time for tender healing.

For all my loved ones that had to go, the mourning and grieving I don't know how to show. All of these things I hold deep inside. I said I’m okay, what if I lied?

What are all these feelings that are combining? Most of these feelings have been hiding. Why did my friend have to drive that far? Why did the other guys drink in their car?

Now I'm sitting alone in the park, as the evening sky grew dark. I’m fighting my anger. They call it depression. I call it war. But the war no one care for.

The bullets being fired are my own thoughts, sinking themselves in the right spots. The swords being plunged into me are my own blades which I chose to tuck my own braids. The punches being thrown is what my liver is taking from the bottles of alcohol. Battle cries are my lungs begging for air as I inhale tar through a cigarette. 11 minutes less life? Bring it on.

I’ve done everything to make the enemy go away but it seem to be growing stronger every day. It’s powerful. I’ve even turned Hii against myself. But that’s the thing. I’m at war with myself.

Cuz everyone around me is losing their lives. Getting jumped and killed with bloody knives.

By Vanshika Gupta