Perfect Mistakes

By Amira Wells

Coming back was my mistake.

Getting a job was my mistake.

Going to college was my mistake.

Going to school was my mistake.

Having goals was my mistake.

Having mental issues was my mistake.

Having feelings was my mistake.

Trying to better myself was my mistake.

Was staying alive my mistake, too?

All these mistakes I have made in life so far, I wonder if I can come back from them.

I just want to be happy and successful.

It just seems like life doesn’t want the same.

It seems like nobody wants the same.

I only have such little support.

Sometimes it doesn’t seem like I have any.

Those times, I feel so alone.

I barely support myself.

I have the utmost strength to hide my sadness, wipe my tears, and pretend it’s okay.

I have no say in how I get treated, but I have to constantly please and respect though.

Losing out on what’s supposed to be there if I don’t do as told.

Having conversations over and over, trying to get through to the other side.

Seems like it’s worth it before I speak, but after it’s the total opposite.

Wondering when I’m going to hit my peak.

“Shut the fuck up,” she says to me.

I’ve been quiet all my life.

“You never listen,” they say to me.

I’ve been quiet all my life.

“Can I finish?” when they’ve talked for years.

I’ve been quiet all my life.

Sometimes I ask, when will someone see the hurt.

Drop everything and help me like I do for everyone else.

I was told, “Treat everyone how you want to be.”

I don’t think everyone got the memo.

I’ve been in the same place for years, killing them with kindness and care.

I don’t think everyone got the memo

All I could do is fall into the system and live life.

Nobody’s gonna help.

Stuck in a trap and won’t get out any time soon.

“Try not to make any more mistakes.” I’ll try because the effort’s always there.

Can’t make or keep any promises.

But I want people to do the same for me, try not to make any more mistakes.

Be you, but you can’t forget to be perfect.

By Amira Wells