Peace

By Shashwat Nagar

Tell me,

Would you come back if I push you away,

Or would it just not matter anyway ?

I’m lying down with tears in my eyes,

And I realize, that this sacrifice,

Isn’t what I wanted,

So here I am, and I apologize.

Do what you want and tear me apart,

Beat me black and blue, but just don’t break my heart,

For I can throw away the things most dear to me,

But I won’t be okay if you were to get up and leave.

Help me, help me out of this mess,

Hate me, hate me nonetheless,

Because I am, and forever will be,

The owner of the face that you never want to see.

When summer goes past and winter comes in strong,

Days go by fast and nights tend to be long,

Or when spring comes with many a flower,

But autumn takes it all down, being too great of a power.

Nature is deadly, and it reminds you in its own way,

Seasons are just an example, we even have animals hunting in the fray.

The world isn’t kind, it is definitely cruel,

With everything being uncertain, there is no rule,

It’s weak to feel, it’s weak to be emotional,

What I’m saying is real, if you are rational.

Ah look, it’s raining today,

I don’t want to go out, but it looks great.

Or is it ? Is the question I ask,

As the universe covers its corruption under a mask.

Of course it is, is what everyone would say,

After all, it doesn’t rain everyday,

Or is it, just maybe, an illusion to my eye,

It feels like the world is telling me to go and die.

With the drops that fall and the wind that blows,

The void in my heart, bigger it grows.

Humans and their humanity, logic and sanity,

Emotions and their gravity, sins and blasphemy.

The list goes on, longer than I can write,

So here I go to bed, just like every night,

Knowing, that there’s no heaven I’ll be sent to,

Knowing, that there’s no salvation I’ll ascend to.

There’s no heaven, just a hell.

If you ask me where, here, is what I’ll tell.

I know I’ll be miserable, there’s no other end,

I’m my own worst enemy, I don’t need a friend.

For a world like ours, saturated with hate,

For people like me, it is our only fate.

We’re not meant to be happy, not meant to be saved,

We’re supposed to suffer, and then be erased.

The sun doesn’t shine on me, it burns instead,

As I give in to the darkness and existential dread.

I want to be dead, but I don’t want to die,

Nothing sad happened to me, but I do want to cry.

Acceptance is the last stage of grief, not a solution to the problem, but an acceptance of its existence.

Such that, it exists and that we recognize,

It’ll continue to exist forever, to no one’s surprise.

There’s no light at the end of the tunnel, there’s no hope,

No one’s going to save you, life is one downhill slope.

From the moment you’re born to the moment you die,

The world doesn’t care, you’re just another small fry.

No matter how hard you try, it won’t work,

In the end you’ll just cry from the hurt,

If you’re lucky, for some of us can’t even cry,

Hope has abandoned us and our eyes are already dry.

If the roses were blue and the violets were red,

Would the world be any different ? One, that won’t fill us with regret ?

It makes me wonder, it makes me think,

With tears in my eyes, back in that I blink,

All of a sudden, an answer hits me,

If I’m dead, better, is what the world would be.

Imagine my friends being without this burden,

Imagine them not having to put up with this broken mess of a person,

As I slowly run out of words to rhyme,

I’m getting ready to commit this so called crime.

In my mind, over and over I rehearse,

The act I’ll perform to free me from this curse,

This eternal curse, that they call my “life”

Is what I think about, as I sharpen my knife.

I pull up my sleeves and I prepare,

It doesn’t matter, and I just don’t care.

No matter how much I smile,

No matter what I do,

All resistance is futile,

So here is my final goodbye to you.

By Shashwat Nagar