Ocean

By Jahnavi Amara

My first love reminds me of the ocean

She was a sailor

A warrior of the waters and the hearts

One night she took me to a party

Merfolk and ashrays

Water spirits and sirens

Call me naïve

For I had danced with magic

Call me naïve

For I had forgotten that magic was a mere illusion

A merman had kissed me and swam away

I ran after his trail of waves

And he had me swim all over the ocean

He showed me the wonders of water

The delicacies and the vulnerabilities

The hardness and the permanence

He had shown me so much

But the knowledge of the unknowable

Was always lingering

An ashray had held my hand

Cold as it may

I had held it back

And my hand hasn’t been warm since

And neither was my heart

But the firm grip of the ocean’s fairies’

Was all the consolation I needed

Water spirits had invited me over

Their table full off snickering beauties

They had persuaded me

They had drowned me

They had smiled through it all

But the vileness had tasted dangerously close to hope

And I swear I could have stayed drowned forever

The sirens lured me into their den

They had sung for me

And for a second I had seen heaven

It was pitch black until you decided it was not

They had shown me the soft side of fear

And had cut me with the sharp end

But as they harmonised with demolition

I couldn’t help but see heaven again

and this time I simply saw the ocean

That night

I came home to my sailor

But she was already edging close to the horizon

Bathed in the rays of dusk

I realised

I had fallen in love with the ocean

And not her

By Jahnavi Amara