No Bath Today

By Ishita Dhanda

I don’t feel like bathing today

I’m afraid I’ll lose my scent

I’m afraid I’ll wash away my touch

Most days I bathe to clear my skin

To remove all those stares

That made me feel naked

Like they were stripping away my respect

And sometimes I scrub myself till I bleed

Just to loose all the skin that was touched unwanted

I let the blood mix with the water

And hope that with the lost skin I lose the memories too

That when I come out of the shower I’ll be clean

That I won’t be scared to wear those skinny jeans, those shorts, those kurtas again

I cry all my tears in the bath

I prepare myself to smile again

To walk on those roads again

To take that bus to work

To stand on those escalators in the mall

Hoping that this time I would have the courage

Today I smell like confidence

Today I like how my hands cup my cheeks

Today I would fight back

I don’t feel like bathing today

By Ishita Dhanda