My Void

By Aaileen Sarwar Syed

I woke up again at this very hour,

It was scary, the face I'd seen

never had I seen it before

different from all the other days

A lot more alive, a lot more vivid.

Leading into an unknown void

Our hands together we walked in the dark

Nobody speaks, silence following throughout.

Unlike other days, I couldn't sleep back

Looking outside my window,

The world, a lifeless show

If only I could keep going, the dark unending tunnel

Like she had my heart,

Like she had all of the control

The lights on all those buildings went out

The skyscrapers looked like rubble,

They all looked sad or was it just me.

Sighing, I touched my now wet cheek

Ignoring while my heart would bleed

In this world of lights and flares

Maybe I wasn't even there.

The void is real,

I hence declare,

the life I lived

I wouldn't call that fair.

Pushing people away,

Not turning my back,

I knew It'd hurt them ,

They don't deserve his wrath.

I learned to remember,

So I made these marks

Looking at all the memories

Etched in scars

Every day every night,

I could feel as I recall,

The memories I would otherwise forget,

The ones that I would otherwise loose in this fog

The dead seems to be living with me,

Do you think I live alone? No

Why else won’t they let me sleep

They think I don’t know they’re here

I can watch them set everything up

They really think I am one to fear

Looking back, a rope as if only waits for me

The noose, beautiful across my neck

Kicking the chair beneath, I look up ahead

I see the woman, whom I dreamt of

She was me

She had my face.

Shocked I see lay ahead.

The road to the void is real,

I hence declare

Within voices, I can hardly bear

The struggle finally hit me

In peace, like a bird, I was finally free

No more on the edge,

I was now a part of my void

By Aaileen Sarwar Syed