Lunch Box

By Sujatha Radhakrishnan

Chapter 1

“Mom… I’ll call you later. I’m getting late, I need to catch the metro.”“That’s why I tell you to sleep early. You never listen to me.”“Okay… okay, bye!”“SAMYUKTA!” screamed Samyukta’s mom.

Ahh… I want to throw this phone.“What is it, Mom?”“It’s your dad’s third death anniversary. Are you going to keep avoiding it?”“I said I’m getting late. Bye.”

This is not how I used to be—hanging up on my mom like that. But some things just can’t be discussed. She needs to understand that. Dad’s death…No!

Shit. It’s 8:45 a.m. If I run, maybe I can catch the 9:10 a.m. metro. I better get going.

Vakratunda Mahakaaya Suryakoti Samaprabha Nirvighnam Kur—“Hello,” a bright tone came through the phone.“Hey Pooja… umm, you seem to be in a good mood.”“Of course I am! My mother-in-law is leaving for a month-long yatra.”“Oh yeah, I remember you telling me that. Well… I called to say I’ll reach the office 15–20 minutes late.” I said, hesitantly.“Sam, it’s Monday! We have the client meeting and you’re leading it. Mr. Sadu Prakash will suck our souls out,” Pooja said hurriedly.“I know, but… I didn’t intend this. My mom called me right when I was leaving. And she reminded me about Dad’s death anniversary today.”“Oh…” Pooja gasped softly. “Are you okay?”“I don’t know what to say, Pooja. I don’t want to discuss it, and my mom never understands that—no matter how many times I tell her.”“Hey, calm down. She’s worried for you. It’s been what—three years? She misses you. I’ve been telling you to visit her. Three years is a lot.”“I don’t know. I’m irritated. I just want to focus on today’s meeting. Prakash rarely lets a woman lead the call. I don’t want to mess up and reinforce his misogynist beliefs. Can you please manage for just like 10 minutes?”“What? How am I going to do that?” Pooja sounded worried.“Just… anything. I’ve crossed Hauz Khas Station. I’ll be there ASAP. PLEASE, Poo.”“You owe me a meal, girl.”“I love you.”

Chapter 2

It feels like I’ve climbed a mountain successfully. Today, every higher-up saw what I am capable of. Prakash was sure I would mess up this project—one of the reasons he assigned it to me. 

I remember how, a few months ago, Prakash rated me “poor” and told the senior manager I wasn’t ready to be a team lead. I was furious. I almost made up my mind to quit and move to another company. But that day, Anmol, our senior manager, said to me:“You have a lot more to do. Are you going to stop yourself from becoming what you can be, just because of someone else’s opinion?”

I haven’t spoken to Anmol much outside of work, but what he said made me realize I shouldn’t give Prakash the satisfaction of seeing me quit.

This wasn’t just about one project—it’s a big stepping stone.

*

“We should celebrate this, Sam.”“Yes, but first tell me—how did you come up with the idea of fainting and falling right on Prakash’s laptop? You were half on his desk, the laptop under your torso, sitting in his chair, and your heels digging into his shoes. I can never forget that sight.” I giggled.“Oh, shut up!”“It was cool. Thank you.”“Please… I’m always cool. Now c’mon, let’s have lunch.”

I grabbed my lunch bag and followed Pooja to the cafeteria.

“What…?” I frowned. This is not my lunch bag.“What’s with that face? What happened?” asked Pooja.“This isn’t my lunch bag. I mean, it looks the same, but inside there’s just a notepad and a bottle. This isn’t mine.”“You have a bag that’s common in our office. Maybe yours got switched with somebody else’s.”“Umm… I took this from my desk. But okay, I’ll go upstairs and check.”

*

Where did it go? There’s no other bag on my desk. I should look around. Maybe someone else took mine by mistake?

I went through the corridor, looked around all the cabins—and damn, my bag’s design really is common. Almost everyone has the same one. But my box and bag… that was a gift from Dad when I joined here. How did I lose it today of all days?

“Sam, are you still looking for it? Come with me. We’ll get something from the cafe and think together. You need to eat,” said Pooja. 

Chapter 3

I unlocked the door. The first thing I saw was the mess I had left in the morning. I kept my things and the stranger’s lunch bag on the table.

As I started tying my hair… Where’s my claw clip? Forget it. I tied my hair with a band instead and began arranging my room.

Phew… finally, I am done.

Everything seemed fine, but that lunch bag kept bothering me. Tears welled up in my eyes. No more holding back. I cried. I cried, and I cried, like there was no tomorrow.

Dad… I miss you.

*

“Hello… Mom.”“What happened, Sammu?”“Tell me about Dad.”“What…? Are you okay? You don’t sound well.”“Mom, please don’t ask me anything. Before I lose the courage… please.” I couldn’t control the shake in my voice anymore.

“It’s not your fault, Samyukta. Your dad found out about his terminal illness a month before you told us about getting the job. He didn’t tell anyone—not even me. The day you announced it; you were so happy. It was both your dream and his dream company. He was so happy in that moment, he forgot about his sickness.

He told me the next day and made me swear on him that I would never tell you. It’s not your fault, my baby. He knew you would drop everything for him and stay. I’m sorry you had to find out about his condition only on the day he died. I know you blame yourself… but Sammu, you have made both me and your father prouder than any child could make their parents.”

“I could’ve helped him, Mom… we could’ve at least tried,” I wept.

“Your father’s condition was beyond recovery. Don’t think I didn’t check. I spoke with every doctor I could find. He loved you so much—he couldn’t bear to see himself sick in your eyes, or to see you sad in his last moments. It’s not your fault.”

“But… Mom…” My voice failed me. I shivered as memories rushed through my mind.

“Don’t hold it in, Sammu. Cry all you want. Let it out… Come home when you are ready.”

I bawled my eyes out. I screamed. I threw things around. That night was absolute chaos—a storm in physical form.

But while my chest grew lighter and lighter, my eyes became heavier and heavier.

Chapter 4

It felt different when I woke up today.Okay… deep sigh. It’s Sunday. Should I watch a movie?

I went about my routine as usual, but something still felt odd.

BOOM!

What was that sound?

Ah… my window was broken, and there was a ball on the floor.

I threw the ball back to the kids outside. I did scold them, but I don’t think they cared. I had to clean up the mess. 

I’ve been cleaning a lot since yesterday.

As I picked up the broom, my hand went to tie my hair. Wait… where’s my claw clip?

Oh.Yes… I had it with me yesterday in the metro. I stuck it to the handle of my lunch bag. I don’t remember seeing it when I took the auto from the station. It was definitely with me in the metro. Did it get swapped there?

My pretty yellow, flower-shaped claw clip. Damn. I really liked that one. I frowned and stared at the ceiling.

I should check the notepad. Maybe I’ll find the owner of the lunch bag.

I cleaned the glass, then sat on the couch with the bag. Let’s see what I can find.

To my surprise, the notepad wasn’t just filled with scribbles. It was written like a diary.

The first page was titled “Trek to Netravati Peak.”

I kept reading:“This place can fill any void in the mind. I have never seen such lush greenery around me. The air, the mist, the rain, that smell of wet leaves, the sounds the insects made—everything is beyond marvel…”

(Page turn)“At a traffic signal, a boy was begging. To my shock, he was asking not for money, but for drinking water…”

I flipped the pages again and again, but found no name that could lead me to the owner. I went back in disbelief, scanning every page.

And then I noticed it.

My name.

“Samyukta. You are a bright girl.”

The words sat at the bottom of the page.

With my curiosity burning, I started reading from the top:

“I saw you crying for the first time. And that’s hurting me. I have always admired you; you carry yourself so well. Sometimes I’m proud of you. I know corporate life can take a heavy toll, but you are strong enough to get through this.”

“When I first saw you in the office, something shifted in me. But I never acted on my feelings, because the world I live in and the world you live in are completely different. You’ll never be happy with me, I know that. You have a bright future, and so many things to explore your way. I’ll keep admiring you from the shadows.”

“One day, I saw you picking up the table fan from the spare cabin and setting it up outside for the guard. I thought, how did that never occur to me? I greeted the guard every day but never noticed he didn’t have an AC or fan. But you noticed it, effortlessly. And I love... adore you for that.”

“My heart only grows closer to you each day. I wanted to tell you this... You shouldn’t cry; you haven’t failed. You’ll come back stronger, Samyukta. You’re a bright girl.”

*

Chapter 5

“YES! Pooja. This is about me. Not some other Samyukta in the universe. It’s about me. I set up the table fan for the guard, remember? Prakash made sure I never forgot that.”

“Yeah, he was such an ass to you. As if you took his property out. Fine, I agree it’s about you. What are you thinking of doing about it?”

“Of course, I’m going to look for him.”

“Him? How are you so sure it’s him?”

“What do you mean? It’s obvious.”

“You want it to be him, don’t you?” teased Pooja.

“C’mon, think with me. It’s someone from the office for sure.”

“Hmm… someone’s fired up. What are you going to do when you find him, huh?” she teased again.

“Are you going to help me or not?” I glared.

“Okay, okay, calm down. I’ll help. If I remember correctly, Gautam from the accounts department had a thing for you, right?”

“No, Poo. That’s not him. He confessed his feelings to me at the start of the year, and I turned him down. You know that. This mystery guy doesn’t want me to find out. Moreover, Gautam is roughly my age. This mystery guy keeps referring to me as a girl. This is someone older.”

“That’s… creepy.”

“Yeah, a little. Another reason why I want to find him.”

*

Almost all the employees had left the workspace for a walk. I thought, I should look around again. What if I find my claw clip? If he admires me, he would’ve kept it. That could lead me to the mystery guy.

I looked around quickly. Nothing at first. I checked again.

And there it was.

A reflection in the cupboard mirror—my yellow flower-shaped claw clip, placed almost aesthetically on the CPU wire.

But…

It was inside Anmol’s cabin.

*

I didn’t enter. I just stood there, staring.

Anmol returned from his walk and noticed me. He must have known already, because he calmly asked me to come in with him.

I was spellbound.

“Did you read it?” he asked. “All of it?”

My silence gave him the answer.

“I never intended for you to find it this way, Samyukta. I never wanted you to find—”

“WHY?” I almost yelled. Then, softer, “Sorry… why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’ll be direct with you. I am 36, almost nine years older than you. Talking, dating, falling in love, fighting, and on and on… I’m not at the stage of life where I can be excited again. It doesn’t suit me. I just want to be your mentor and—”

I stood up, interrupting him.

“Don’t say another word. I don’t know what ageist reasons you’ve built in your head, but they’re vague, lazy, and… cowardly. And you know that.

You took away my choice. Yes, these are your personal feelings, I agree, but they concern me too, right? We’ve talked about work; you’ve guided me through my lowest moments. And all this time, when you spoke to me, you were harbouring these feelings. That changes everything for me. I’m… disappointed.

It didn’t have to happen this way…”

I left his cabin in shock and disbelief.

Epilogue

After visiting Mom, I felt alive again. I’m glad I did.

‘The train destination to Botanical Garden is going to enter, platform no. 2…’

I boarded the metro. It’s fairly crowded, as usual. The corner near the opposite door was empty; I went and stood there, leaning my back on the handle. I was taking out my earphones when I heard him say my name.

“Hi, Samyukta.”

It’s Anmol.

“I sent my car for service, so I’m taking the metro.” 

“Hi… Anmol.” My heart didn’t race. Oddly, it didn’t feel weird seeing him.

“I’ll be direct, Samyukta, and not take much of your time. Please, can you hear me out?”

I nodded.

“It’s been over a month since our last conversation. I thought about it over and over again. I was wrong. I understand why you got hurt. I’m sorry. You know… you were right when you said, ‘it didn’t have to happen this way.’ I want to start fresh with you. I can’t rewind time and go back to the day you first entered the office. But I can ask you now—can we start again?” He was nervous, yet sounded calm.

I looked at him for a few minutes. I let out a deep sigh.

“Okay… we can try that.”

We both smiled. 

‘This station is Hauz Khas. Please mind the gap.’

“I think… we should exchange our lunch bags now,” he said with a soft smile.

“Maybe” I chuckled. “Why’d you put your notepad in there?”

“Well, that’s another story. I’ll tell you some other time.”

“Okay”

***

By Sujatha Radhakrishnan