Longing

By Rebecca Dominique Hawkes

I reached for the stars,

I received the stars.

I climbed up the steep terrain,

Hiding myself away from the mundane.

Then, I found love-

A breathtaking sign from above,

So i emptied myself to the last reserve,

Left with no part of love, I could conserve.

I looked to the shadows,

Lost track of my ethos,

Plunged into darkness,

To taste the soul of nothingness.

So, I tried to find heaven-

The place for the chosen.

But heaven seemed like despondency...

A feeling of undeserving ecstasy.

Earth was an undying abyss,

A place where everything felt amiss.

So, I searched the cosmos,

Trying to find my niche of gentle repose.

I longed to tread what could never be

The grandiose of the unholy,

The journey of the ordinary,

The scourge of the earthly.

I longed for the easy journey,

And strode deep into the melancholy,

Lamenting about how I could not be,

The one I longed to be.

I longed for hegemony,

Over my redundancy.

Over my powerlessness,

And immense hardness.

So i longed, but never found

Then i turned to my skin,

The air that i breathed,

The simplicity of beauty I had forgotten.

In things, that seemed too little to please.

I turned to find pleasure,

In the cold and dismissed,

Threw away the grandeur

In search of a new venture

Of what was thrown away,

To find beauty in the decay.

So i could piece together the frailty,

And find something better-

Beauty in the broken and fragmentary.

By Rebecca Dominique Hawkes