Karma

By Fatima

“ I hate being a doctor”. She thought on her way to the ER. “ Such a moronic profession.”

Upon entering she was hit with that adrenaline surge that she craved for when she was younger. The 29 year old felt way past her youth. “ It’s this job that has aged me.” She once told her therapist who pointed out that she no longer behaved like a person in the prime of her life.

The ER was packed, as usual. She was directed towards a bunch of patients by nurses who scrammed to get the iv lines in and catheters out. “ You need to see bed no. 19, 21 and 5”, one nurse told her. The doctor who was on duty before her, was busy entering the drug lists into the computer, so that the discharged patients could be disposed off by the pharmacy. There was no time to say hello. In an ER like hers, there was never any time to exchange pleasantries. She went to see, the patients.

Years at the job, meant that she knew exactly what the patient’s complaint was, as soon as she approached the bed. When the patient talked, she was making up the list of medications. Patients who spoke longer that 5 minutes about a one day fever annoyed her, even though she never let them know. She saw it as an act of selfishness to come to a trauma centre with a one day fever and then, talk about it for 15 minutes, thereby taking away the doctor’s time and focus from a patient who actually deserve it.

A few months into the profession, she had realised that human beings are exceptionally selfish. When she started out in ER, she had a patient with a fever scream at her, because she had been busy managing a cardiac arrest and he had to wait. She lost hope for humanity a long time ago. Now, she just worked for money. She saw nothing wrong in that anymore. People deserve nothing.

She used to be fiesty. She used to scream back at arrogant patients, threaten to throw agitated bystanders out. But lately, many of her colleagues were facing violence for simply doing their jobs; one of her colleagues had been murdered by a patient. So she was scared. She relented to any moron with an opinion he read off of google, she bent rules to accommodate roguish requests, she shrugged off any self esteem off of her shoulders and acquiesced to anyone; she didn’t want to get attacked at the work place. She didn’t want to be next.

She felt helpless obviously. She sometimes cried. But there was nothing to do, except bend to her captor’s will in an ER anymore.

So today was another day. “There is a patient in bed 20” . The nurse told her, as she hurried away with iv trays.

She moved to bed no. 20. It was a middle aged woman; she looked sad. “ What happened, ma’am ?” she enquired.

The woman told her story. She had been operated for a breast lump two weeks ago. Now, she saw pus discharge from the suture site. “ okay, let me examine” – she said tugging at her stethoscope as she often did absent mindedly, and pulled the curtains forward to cover the patient. As the patient undressed, she thought, “ I might have to admit her if there is a lot of pus”.

There was no pus. Or pain. But the patient said that she squeezed out a lot of pus at home.

“ It is alright now. I can prescribe you antibiotics and you can see your surgeon at the OPD tmrw “. She told the patient.

“ I want to see the surgeon now”

“ This is an ER ma’am . Surgeon will be called for emergencies and traumas. You can see in OPD tmrw. Or I can get you admitted today, and you can see him tomorrow if it’s difficult for you to come again tomorrow. “

“ Okay, I’ll come to OPD tomorrow.”

“ okay then, take care. You will be alright. There is nothing to worry “

And the patient left. The doctor went on to see other patients.

10 minutes later.

He entered the ER. Let’s call him bearded moron.

Bearded moron entered ER and came up to her. “ A patient had come earlier about oozing from site. She is sitting outside upset . You connect the doctor and give who did the surgery. Or tell where is his house, so that we can go there.”

“ I spoke to the patient and said she can get admitted. It was her wish to come to the OPD tmrw. “

“ A surgery was done by this hospital, and you have to show up for it’s complications. She is sad, because you said this is an emergency “

“ I did not lie. This is an emergency department. There is a board outside “

“ Stop fucking with me. You all are sitting here just to loot money from the public and not do any work. You better call the doctor and give. I think it’s a breast surgery “.

Bearded moron hounded her at every bed she attended, followed her into her duty room and threatened her to make the call.

Two years ago, she would never have yielded to this. She would have let him know that an emergency is no place to come with causes that arent emergency, that there is a system as to how a hospital works, that a doctor who is not on call shouldn’t be disturbed in his off hours because he is a human too. But now things have changed, and she did not want to be killed or beaten. So she called up the surgeon and pleaded with him, to talk to the patient. He spoke and asked the patient to come back tomorrow. The bearded moron who turned out to be a driver the patient had hired to come to hospital, and who had taken upon himself to utilise a normal hospital proceeding as an opportunity to show off, went away gloating and satisfied. The doctor went to her duty room, cried for a few seconds, got herself together, and carried on attending to her patients. When she had a break, she fantasised about using pepper spray on him.

Bearded moron gloated on his way back in the car. “ It was a lazy doctor. We need to learn where to speak up. Otherwise these people will take advantage of us. I spoke to her, and then she made the call. Now, you just need to see at the OPD tmrw .” He said as he drove the car…. Into a tree. Apparently the gloating had taken his attention of the road.

The sound of ambulance drowned out the noise from the ER. “Fuck, it’s another ambulance. How many today!” she thought as she put on her gloves.

It was a road traffic accident. They were three casualties. Two of them were a middle aged couple, she recognised from earlier. They had come for seeing the surgeon in ER post a breast surgery.

The third person was a young man with a beard, who had his face torn off. He was screaming in pain. His bloodied tshirt was torn; just like his right leg was. His right femur was seen hanging out. She recognised him as the bearded moron.

He was taken to the resuscitation bay as all patients who might cross over to death without intervention are. She went in, to take a look. His blood pressure was low. “ start fluids and arrange blood”. She said. When the nurses went to get the fluids and iv lines, she realised she was alone with him. She bent down and whispered in his ear “ This is it. You end here”. He was conscious and began howling in pain. “ give me something for the pain” he mumbled from the torn up flesh that once used to be his face. She took out the pepper spray and sprayed him with it. He began howling in pain. She quickly ran out of the rescuscitation bay and asked the sisters to put the fluid they have gotten for him for another patient. She said she will cannulate him, and he might need a cannula put on his neck. They trusted her. She went bac in and cannulated his neck vein. By the time, the sisters came bak in, the smell of pepper spray had disappeared, thanks to the fact that she opened the windows and switched on the fan.

“ help me doctor”. He mumbled.

“ I would. But there is a patient outside, who has come to see the physician at this time, and I need to track down the physician’s whereabouts and give her. So I can’t attend to you now. “ she said.

She went out and spoke to the middle aged couple who hadn’t been badly injured. “ He is very serious. He could die. Please inform whoever is important “.

He was started on iv fluids. She did not order any pain killers. When a sister asked if they should give him pain meds, she said no let the blood pressure rise first. But the pressure was never going to rise, until she managed the femur fracture, she knew that. She informed ortho and surgery department, a little late. By the time, help arrived, bearded moron was unconscious and did not have a recordable blood pressure. When his heart stopped, she told sisters “ He has lost so much blood. CPR will not revive him. “ That was a lie. She had revived many a patients who were worse off with effective CPR. She just couldn’t go the length for bearded moron. As she declared his death to the couple outside, she adjusted her mask to hide her smirk.

That night, she smiled in her sleep. Next day, she went back to work; the pepper spray in her pocket.

By Fatima