Insecure

By Melody McCoy-Cole

Unsure, guilty, and disgust

Growing deep inside me

Roaring from my stomach, spit through my teeth

Confusion about reality

Distorted, uncomfortable views

The disorder consumes me yet I allow it to.

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Tightening at the seams

Mirrors tell lies not truths

About what’s inside me

Judge my looks and scowl

At the days end

My body is my enemy and my eating disorder is my best friend.

Maybe I am wrong

Maybe it’s not true

But change is terrifying, so much I cry too-

Much for me to handle, too much for me to take

But I will learn to love myself

Yet my eating disorder fills me with self-hate.

I just need to learn that despite my behaviors, I should not discriminate.

By Melody McCoy-Cole