By Divyanka Shaw
Who will save me from the days when my own dreams drag me into the darkness, when I become my own worst enemy? When I sabotage myself, letting my mind spiral into thoughts of my own flaws and failures? When I stand in front of the mirror, picking apart every perceived imperfection until all I see is a distorted reflection of who I once was?
Who will rescue me from the endless nights when sleep is an escape I can’t find, and the silence is louder than any noise? When the weight of my own thoughts crushes me, making it hard to breathe?
Where do I turn when the walls, I’ve built to protect myself begin to close in, leaving no room to move, no air to breathe, no light to see? When every step forward feels like a step deeper into the abyss, and every glimmer of hope seems like a distant star, too far to reach?
Where do I go when I feel that the story of my life is penned in my own blood? When every chapter feels like a battle scar, etched deep into my soul, leaving me wondering if I am the author or merely the canvas?
Where do I seek answers when the ink of my existence is drawn from wounds that never seem to heal? How do I find peace in a narrative that bleeds with pain and uncertainty?
Is there a place where I can rewrite the ending, where the blood turns to ink, and the scars become the lines of a new beginning? Or am I destined to trace these same lines; forever bound to a story that I never chose to write? Like the moments when I hold a pen in my hand, longing to write a different story, but finding that the ink has run dry, leaving only the indelible marks of a past I can’t escape.
And how do I seek help while I’m burning myself under my own skin, setting fire to my soul in a desperate attempt to feel something -anything-other than this emptiness? How do I cry out when my voice is trapped beneath the surface, buried under layers of denial and fear, too scared to admit that I’m falling apart? What do I do? Live in the void than actually face the emptiness that comes with having nothing left to hold onto?
By Divyanka Shaw
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