In The Light of Our Scars

By Keertana Saji

I am waiting. 

We await our reunion as a wave does when it meets the shore with joy. 

It has been 18 months of our exile from each other and it is our time at last. 

I figure, I must explain what I speak of…

It began, Oh so long ago. I wish I could remember the beginning. 

No… there was no beginning before us. We were all…

*** 

I was sitting with him infront of me. He was watching me with his fire for eyes.

We were always close to each other as the soil was to the ground, we knew one another as the leaves understood the hum of breeze, we held our gazes like the roots of a tree clutched the earth. 

“Hi”, He said with his warm voice. 

“Hi”, I said. 

It was enough. His voice held more love than any words ever could. 

He continued to look at me with intensity, I wished I could dissolve in. 

I leaned in forward to him, not leaving his gaze. 

“Did you not sleep well?”, I asked him. 

“Hmm…I could not shake the feeling of unease from what your mother said.”, he replied quietly. 

We were still looking at each other’s eyes. Words would lie, words could never speak the way we wanted them to, but our eye did. They always did. 

I knew his flaming eyes as well as he knew my pale silver. 

I smiled lightly mocking him, “Is that so? Would you like me to sing you to sleep?”

He smiled more than I did, beautifully, “In this world of mine, yours is the sole existence. Your words echo with every sound. You talking itself is enough, my love, for me to rest.”

I laughed, “Sleep eludes you after having a word with my mother only once. What will become of you?”

“How do you live under her shadow? I could never. You have immense power to live every day knowing she’s watching you as you disobey her.”

“She asked us to not see one another, I refuse that wish.” I said firmly.

“She is not wrong for worrying.”

“Yes, I agree.”

“I made an agreement with your mother…” he said, I could see his eyes soften with guilt. 

“And what would that be?”

“She merely stated that if we were to break our rule, she would hide you away from me forever. And if I were to not agree to the condition, you would yet again be taken. It was fair. I agreed.”, He said, watching my eyes. 

“That makes absolute sense, it is unbelievable. My mother is not known to be reasonable. We have not crossed the lines of our rule for this long, nothing is going to make us now.” I smiled. 

We fell into a peaceful silence, still, just looking at each other.

“Hi” he said once more. 

“Hi” I replied once more. 

We were ready to do this forever. 

## 

He was warmth and brightness. 

I was cool mist and light pale. 

We were of such, who were made to hurt each other, by accident. 

Another day, another place; but the scene was the same. 

“Hi”

“Hi”

Just him and me. Sitting, looking into each other’s eyes. 

Even with the distance between us I was burning in his warmth. 

I sometimes found myself loosing myself in his eyes, but I was brought back everytime when I saw his eyes only saw me. I saw my reflection in those eyes, and it reminded me of who I was. I was the one he loved; he was the one I loved. We would be no one if we were to lose each other. 

Our sole rule, which happened to be a compulsion was, we were not to let our skin meet. 

It was simple. We weren’t to touch one another in any way, not in even the briefest handshake, or embrace. 

We never minded it, for this was enough. It would always be enough. 

## 

We stood so close that day. 

I could feel his air. The wind around us danced, for there was nothing that mattered more than him and me. 

The truth was, we both knew exactly what was about to happen. 

We were needed in different places. We would have to leave. Two corners of the Earth, and the moment we would get to meet was only once every 18 months. 

A cruel fate, for one so in love. 

I went closer to him, our eyes locked as always. 

“If we are to leave anyway…” I said. I slowly touched his hand. 

“There is a reason we do not, my love. You would hurt yourself”, he said not letting his hands leave mine. 

“You would hurt too, yet you do not leave”, I said. 

I guided his hands to the side of my face and leaned into it. 

It was true. We were made to hurt each other. My skin burned under his touch, and his froze over mine. 

“Hi”

“Hi”

We stood like that looking at each other for time that could not be tracked. 

And then came the time of our separation. We slowly walked two different ways with burns etched on us. He walked towards the brightness where he belonged, and me to the darkness. 

My mother, she was always all around me. Her love for me was eternal, as she looked at my burns, I knew she was going to be angry. She would take away the pain from me. How dare we break the rule? No… she embraced me. She did not touch my scars, for her touch healed. She held me close. 

I couldn’t bear it. I let my tears fall silently in her arms. 

“I understand,” she said, “you want those scars as a part of him” 

She was right. These burns, they were the sign of our love. It did not hurt. 

“You have never looked more beautiful.” She said. 

I grieved my loss. 

He grieved it too. I could hear his cries from the other side, for it was so loud and deafening. 

He cried so loud, the light of his ignited a thousand-fold. So bright it touched me. 

His rays met me and suddenly I was glowing. 

My scars were dully shining with me. 

I looked ahead and I understood, there was not a moment he wasn’t going to be with me. There was not a moment I wouldn’t be with him, for his light reflected and I knew he was looking at me. 

People often sit under my light in the darkness of my mother, they sit there in love. I have smiled each time. There was a reason, lovers understood the beauty of dusk, dawn and of moonlight. 

Dusk and dawn were the times he and I got a single glimpse of one another, of the scars we left on each other. 

Lovers found beauty in my scars and sat under my moonlight for they understood they sat under the light of our love. 

*** 

It is our time to meet. We got to be the closest to one another every 18 months, without anyone watching. 

We hide the light. It is just him and me. Still miles apart yet as close as we need to be. 

We get to be as such for only 8 minutes but it is enough. 

For there was no dance, no holy place from which we were absent. 

We finally align. 

I’m looking deep into his eyes as I always have, and he is looking at mine. 

“Hi”

“Hi”

By Keertana Saji