Illusion

By Ishita Dhanda

I’m just an illusion he said

My strength is not in my biceps as dad wants

I hysterically cry over a cute dog

And if someone asks what am I doing

Hiding all my emotions and passions

I say about to hit the gym to buff up these muscles

I’m just an illusion he said

My thoughts don’t fit in the society as dad told me that I can only love girls

I can’t understand why I like boys

And if someone asks me with whom am I

Scared to say something wrong

I tell them with a very hot girl just for fun

I’m just an illusion he said

My feelings don’t matter as dad ordered me to never cry

I put a facade of happiness

And if someone asks how I am

Putting every bit of my strength to hold my tears

I smile and say I’m okay

I’m just an illusion he said

My actions don’t match my conscience

For I don’t know why am I different

For I don’t know why society won’t accept me

For I don’t know why am I scared of the truth

For I don’t know why I can’t be like daddy

I’m just an illusion he said

Praying to be brave

Praying to be courageous

Praying to be accepted

Praying to be loved.

By Ishita Dhanda