I know I am not winning - By CADIENTE, Raphael P.

Written By: CADIENTE, Raphael P.

Category: Poetry

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

In "I know I am not winning," CADIENTE, Raphael P. offers a poignant exploration of introspection and the quest for meaning. This evocative poem is a notable entry in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026, hosted by Hashtag Kalakar. Through a vivid tapestry of imagery and emotion, CADIENTE invites readers into a contemplative world where nature and introspective thought intertwine, creating a profound dialogue about existence and perception.

About the Work

CADIENTE's work is rich with imagery and introspective musings. The poem explores themes of nature, inner conflict, and the search for purpose. Through a blend of vivid descriptions and subtle reflections, the poem conveys a sense of longing and the struggle for understanding. The mood oscillates between serene contemplation and an underlying tension, capturing the complexity of the human experience in the face of existential questions.

I know I am not winning

Original Submission by CADIENTE, Raphael P.

I know I am not winning

I sit on the toilet with my arms withholding.

The light of dawn sends me a TV from the window,

winding pictures of birch leaves swinging noir

in perfect harmony with the bird choir.

I look back if God gives up a sign

to give or forget.

I can see the green perfectly like the world

telling how more there is other than to bleed.

No amount of violence could untether the landscapes

that grew the antiquity to look after me.

But, my nape has lost its mirth

of trying to look for meaning.

In said window where the wind blows unlike

the air-condition they regulate at the faculty

rooms where troffer lights brim synthetic on skin,

where knowing feels like a faux heaven inhibition,

I can finally know everything

but in time, I will empty.

Rallyists propose the light to rise and set with men

Only answering from the pillbox-shaped lion dens.

Touching them, the bare fur from orange page margins

reflects sky, reflects sea, reflects innocence.

And, sense—some already have.

Sensibility—lost in a citadel.

“Wrong.”, says a null white paper with red lines.

My book, a blunt betrayer, when I'm back to frontlines.

I know I am not winning but the leaves danced

in shadow, in faith, just show, no tell.

There is no telling why men wear insignia like tails.

But, I feel it in the way their eyes tilt.

Classified files become unbecoming,

recloning like xerox from letters upending.

Withdrawing might be the only way to make ends meet.

Be one with grout in salacious defeat.

I know the doctors get the first aid in the face of death,

but I really aspire to be an angel without wings.

I fall to the floor knowing the blood is mercy

But, they did not provide a world for the worthy.

I look for signs in the soap, the dish, the lines.

The smell of Tide catches up with my time.

About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar celebrates diverse voices and creative expression from around the world. It serves as a platform for writers and poets to share their unique perspectives and engage with a global audience. This prestigious competition is a testament to the power of words in connecting and inspiring individuals across cultures and borders.

We extend our heartfelt gratitude to CADIENTE, Raphael P. for sharing "I know I am not winning" with us. Your participation in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 enriches the literary landscape and offers readers a moment of deep reflection. Thank you for contributing your voice and vision to this global celebration of poetry and creativity.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.