I Am Breathing... Just

By Shubham Jhunjhunwala

In the sea of warranted oblivion,

I float - I gaze - I reminisce - only to be lost.

I am not naive, afraid,

I am not merry, pensive, either,

I know the meaning of my lingering hope,

I know the meaning of your unbidden reserve,

Yet, we whisper,

Yet, we stay.

Between my fumbling passion, and your ignorant love.

In the compassion of the misty air,

And the purge of the amber afternoon,

Between your world and mine,

In the middle of our lily cemetery,

I am moved and unmoved in my sweet, prickly pain,

Of loneliness, of sorrow, of time.

The memory of your nameless grace,

The feeling of your tender shade,

Between your serenity and my sorrow dreams,

Sunrise and sunsets teach me how overwhelming hope can be.

When the sun rises with its manicured thrill,

A longing to see your face,

A longing to drink your song,

A longing to walk in your love,

Only makes me hope, only makes me dream,

And you, your name is every word in my antique diary,

And somehow, with sunflowers and your shining light,

I am safe, I am content.

By the time the sun invites the twilight's remorse,

I am empty,

My pages are full, and my pulse quickens,

For now, in this pseudo darkness,

Emptiness is my only shelter.

The sunflower is sleeping again,

The song is losing its melody,

Your light is fading away,

And yet again, I have to chase the wrong light.

Until the sun rises again,

And the dew reminds me how,

I am still alive to expect once again,

Expect you to scream my name and your love,

Expect me to smile and embrace you,

This night of torrid silence,

Of yet another murmur in my head,

Asking me to move on from this twisting reality,

To seek a different shade of solace,

This night will crush me, absorb me,

And, I will let it,

Only because I am short of options.

I don't have joy, a destiny, or a future,

I have nothing to lose,

Only but a handful of yearnful songs,

Yet,

The thought of your absurd abandonment,

The feeling of your distant love,

The false whispers,

Only reminds me how,

One day, between our cemetary of lilies,

Between my love and your ignorance,

Between sunset and sunrise,

I will choose death,

And, before I rest,

I will think,

"What could've been!"

By Shubham Jhunjhunwala