Grandma'

By Prafulla Kumar Majhi

It has been long thirty-five years since the incident took place.But it is yet to be erased from my memory completely.Rather it often comes into my dreams.Our ancestral house stands in the heart of the village wherein lives an old lady.Since she is alone the front side of the house remains closed.She uses another door which opens to the other side of the village.Whenever I go to the village she opens the door and welcomes me with a smile on her face.Her joys know no bounds at the very sight of me.This is the house where we spent our childhood days mostly when there were school vacations.I go down memory lane and remember how she managed the house single-handed and looked after the family farming.Since she lived alone in the house another lady named Mata came at night to give her company.They were on very good terms.Even when there was some skirmish between the two,Mata would say that she would never come to the house again.But her anger was momentary.At night she would come as usual with her stick and lantern.The whole village would know that Mata was walking in the village road from the ‘ Thak Thak’ sound of her stick.I return to the present and am surprised to see her fit and healthy.But the picture of a lady without a stomach appears in my mind.I do not say anything to her about her ailment.She cooks her own food and at this ripe age does all the household chores.In addition to all the works at home ,she takes care of the cattle and looks after all the works related to farming with the help of rural labour.I am still surprised as to how she is able to do all this despite a serious ailment.She feels happy with my arrival in the house,asks me to sit,offers me ‘Murhi’(an item prepared from rice) and tea without milk.When I sit and start eating I suddenly wake up and my dream ends.The stark realities of life give me a lot of pains.Alas!I was only dreaming.What a nice dream it was!I find it difficult to accept the reality.She is no more with us to call me’Baa’(Children are fondly called ’ Baa’ or father).Nor is Mata available around to play with me or take me to her house for lunch.Both of them have left this mundane world since long.Only their memory lingers in mind.

  The dream often haunts me at night even after thirty-five years have elapsed since the death of my Grandma whom we fondly called ‘Badbadi Maa’ meaning the fatty mother.The year was 1988 when I got my first appointment outside the state.She came upto the main gate of our house advising me all the time to take care of my health as I would be staying alone for the first time far away from home.I took leave of her and my parents and left for my joining place.Months passed away.I prepared to go home after my first joining.On reaching home I found my mother sobbing.Not finding my Grandma at the main gate I realised that she was no more.

She did have an uterus problem for which she was under treatment and passed away during my stay outside the state.At that time mobile phone had not yet come into use.My parents had sent a letter to me as they did not know my official landline number.But I was not in receipt of the letter.The news came as a fatal blow for me.I could not attend the last rites of my Grandma which made my mother sob.I consoled her and returned to my workplace a few days later.This incident of my not being able to see her face at the time of her death forms the backdrop of my dream,an old lady living in her house alone,always asking me to visit her,welcoming me with a smile on her face and last but not the least looking after the house and farming all alone without a stomach in her body.Her uterus problem and the doctor’s advice to remove it takes the form of a lady without a stomach in my dreams which will continue till the rest of my life.

     When I return from a world of dreams and memory to the realm of reality I find her life to be one of difficulties and challenges.She was pregnant when her husband passed away.At an early age she gave birth to a son and brought him up.She was all alone in the world and often felt like consuming poison.She used to tell me,I did not do this keeping in mind only the face of her son i.e.my father and braved the world outside.

    Managing the household and family farming single-handed and with hardly anybody around to bank upon she did find time for God and spiritualism which had made her a pious lady.Her faith in God was indomitable which came from her frequent visits to temples and listening to scriptural recitations.She was well-versed in the Ramayana,Mahabharata and the Puranas which was a result of her listening to recitations attentively.She did read the scriptures herself on occasion.

    A caring and loving Grandma as she was, she loved her grandchildren without any discrimination.Though as the eldest I was close to her she never neglected the others who came later.She was an out and out traditional lady with a good hand in cooking of traditional items.Tithi,dates of festivals and the calendar were on her fingertips.

      She lived in the village and during school vacations when I was available with her she took me to the corn fields,the harvesting field and the temples when scriptural recitations were organised.She did make me sleep on her bed and left a pillow beside me when she woke up early in the morning lest I should miss her.Her story-telling from the Ramayana,Mahabharata and the Puranas has had an indelible impression on my mind.She has been my ideal and whatever little I have achieved in life I would give the whole credit to her.

    The generation of my Grandma has come to an end and that of my mother is about to end.Our generation is midway gradually paving the way for the new generation.With my                           

Grandma and mother around I have never felt that women cannot achieve wonders.They are a force to reckon with.Ways of life,lifestyles and habits have changed.We cannot stop the onward march of time.But we can strike a balance between tradition and modernism.Today we speak of women empowerment and solving the problems that women face in the society.With change in generations life has become complicated.The responsibility of women in the socie.ty has increased.They are not only managing the household but also moving outside for work.Crimes against women are on the rise.Traditional values are collapsing under the influence of western culture. Fast food and late night parties have caught hold of the society.We cannot help it.But sticking to our age-old tradition may be a silverlining in the day to day degrading society.

       In lonely and leisurely moments I brood over memories of my Grandma,Mata and my mother.They have all left us  and are unlikely to return to our midst.But their sticking to tradition and values will always be cherished in my memory till the rest of my life.We cannot bring mortal people back to life but keep them in our memory and follow in their footsteps.

By Prafulla Kumar Majhi