Float

By Simrat Kaur Hora

In this age of capitalism, we are defined by what we do. How we behave and make people feel has no importance because- who cares?

Tell them how much you earn and they start judging you- if you're earning less, they will show sympathy and look down on you and if you earn more than what they are making, then you're probably upto something.

Or, rather, WE WANT TO BE JUDGED- WE WANT TO FEEL VALIDATED

But the question is-

How far is this going to take us?

For how long can we let this insecurity of never being enough for people consume us?

How much can we push ourselves until we lose it all?

We want people to discuss our achievements in social gatherings and parties, but at the end of a tiring day, when we've pushed ourselves enough and we're alone- all by ourselves, our inner voice will always ask- who are we doing this for?

And when this happens- we should not lie to ourselves.

Unnecessarily pushing our boundaries just for validation will damage us and consume us in ways we cannot fathom.

And, god forbid, if we fail to prove ourselves- our confidence is reduced to ashes- and we start questioning our identity and actions.

"WHO AM I? WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF?"

This damage that is caused takes years to heal- the path to healing is erratic- at times we feel like we're in control and most of the times we are living in auto-pilot- we just let life pass by .

And we, we are just existing- we feel empty- we feel hollow on the inside- we are sensitive.

The slightest accidental touch on our scars- and the wounds start bleeding again- and there we are again- feeling pathetic- like we have drowned again- like we've reached rock bottom, all over again.

But,

Are we always going to stay at the bottom ?

OR

Do we want to enjoy swimming at the surface, with a gentle breeze touching our face, giving us comfort and the stillness- the stillness and calm that makes us enjoy the moment, where we are not anxious about how vast or how deep the ocean is- we let contentment take over -we let lose and we just float on the surface...

Well,

That's a choice that we have to make.

What's your choice?

By Simrat Kaur Hora