Figuring Out Not To Figure Out

By Anubhab Maiti

If I could figure you out someday

I probably wouldn't

I wouldn't wanna know you, atleast not everything

I wouldn't let your mystery be solved

I'd rather have an enigmatic record, with you as the subject matter

I'd peel every layer you have, one by one

See you raw, caress the untamed you

But I'd get a few words lost in translation

Forget to cross off a few t's, forget to dot a few i's

Maybe on purpose, maybe due to habit

If I could figure you out in the next line

I probably wouldn't

I wouldn't wanna keep you recorded, even in my words for you

It would restrict my mind of you, a comparison of my portrayal

Something that is unnecessary to the transaction I am hoping to have with you

I want you to grow, to bloom out even more

But, if that doesn't happen, I'd settle to be along for the process

I'd settle to be the one you think of during a dopamine rush

As I remember you during mine

Maybe on purpose, maybe due to habit

I want to always keep trying to figure you out

But I don't want to have you figured out

If that makes sense?

By Anubhab Maiti