Expectations

By Rituparna Bhaduri

The world when I was small was perfect.

Loving parents friends and family.

Then I grew up and knew these feelings

Feelings I never meant to meet.

The world crumbled from age eleven and by thirteen,

I was a mess.

Scared to feel the good and tired of feeling the bad

Spent most of my time staring at ceilings,

Listening to crazy good ballad music.

Curling up a blanket burrito,

Just scared of disappointing me;

And failing me.

Because the expectations seem to never end,

The only thing that remained the same.

Every year someone new would join,

The last I checked I think that was me.

The one who swore to never be,

But like a disease named "harmful expectations";

It decided to consume me.

A disease so old and new that I don't know how to fight,

But like a true human I will survive.

I hope, I pray, I wish; and turn away.

Hoping someone will listen and not be disappointed in me or them.

Because the last thing I want is for it to spread,

And kill until there is no one left.

By Rituparna Bhaduri