Ephemeral

By Priyanshi Goyal

When did it begin?

I drowned myself in my own sea of hell,

I couldn’t let you go,

I’m so sorry.

The enchanting horizon touches the restless sea, so mesmerizingly,

The fiery hue of the twilight engulfs it all,

Just like lost pieces of a puzzle,

But just as if it was all an illusion,

I realize, it was all a lie,

It was impossible to bid you goodbye,

I’m so sorry.

Save me from this hell,

Save me from this gaping abyss,

This overgrown contrition is trying to swallow me whole,

It hurts, it hurts so bad,

I can’t understand,

I can’t defy the monster storming inside of me,

I don’t wanna let go, no,

Is it my fault that I can’t escape this hell?

Is it my fault that I couldn’t make you stay, that all of it was ephemeral?

I wanna let go,

I wanna feel once again,

I wanna,

I’m so sorry.

I wanted to have you beside me forever,

I wanted to feel the gentle strokes of your fingers when you held me,

I wanted to make it last forever,

But seemed like the colors of the beautiful painting we made together were destined to fade away,

I was destined to break away,

I’m so sorry.

For me, you were the entire sky, for you, I was just a passing cloud.

I wanted you all to myself, but now that I realize, you weren’t even mine.

I wanted to make it all right,

I wanted to see you smile, no, I wanted to be the reason of your euphoria once again,

Why does it all seem so foreign?

I’m drowning deep down in my own sea of hell, am I trapped forever?

My hand doesn’t reach out to you anymore,

I can’t scream, no,

I can’t cry, no, it’s all muffled, once again,

I deserve it all, my friend.

I can’t do it, I can’t anymore,

I won’t give up,

I’m sorry,

I’m so sorry.

By Priyanshi Goyal