Embracing Solitude .

By Navamika Ragesh

I was in Delhi with my family  ,stuck at traffic . So bored was I from all the travelling that I  felt extremely lousy .Amidst a  street vendor was selling books at low price .I opened the glass window and my eyes caught on  the title “THE ART OF BEING ALONE “ -by RENUKA GAVRANI . “ Oh that book is in my booklist “ . I bought the book and immediately started to read . My mummy took notice of the title and asked me “Why you want to be alone? “ .I taught she was bringing up the whole “ I don’t want to marry “ issue again . “ Don’t worry mummy  , it’s a self help book , its nothing about living alone without a man .”

I read the book and what clung on to me was the last chapter .I felt it was very impactful and resonated with me in every sense . Reading about Renuka mam’s life was like reading my own story ,that’s when it hit me its okay to feel the way I feel . I can’t thank enough the author for that . 

Throughout my life was running this race to not be left behind so that I am not a loner . I always wanted company ,desperately . With friends I had ,I was possessive when they made other friends . I thought I would lose them. I didn’t want to fail in my entrance exam ,or  I would be left alone . I have to pass all exams else I would be left out . I should marry soon ,or I will be left without a partner . Its all about people in your life and never about yourself .We are running this race so we are not left behind alone and right from beginning we have been taught that being alone is scary experience . Just my mummy scared that living alone is my dream which is why I bought the book in the first place .

When I finished the book I realized how afraid and underconfident I was about myself . I can never imagine surviving alone ,even though I am actually alone in my journey of life .

People never stay permanently in your life . they come and go just like that . But we expect them to be with us at every call . “How depended  am I?”  .I thought to myself . 

If you contemplate your life , there are many people around us , though they are there they cant really solve our problem . If we got hell going in our life , we need to face it alone . No one is there to actually navigate through your problems . Yet here we are scared of being a loner .

I think its all rooted into our childhoods. Like mummy warning me , we are all taught that being a loner means  failure . I don’t blame mummy , well she passed on what she has learnt . Its not really her fault .Even movies ,dramas picture exactly the same .  This unnecessary dependency is the problem for all our miseries.

We need to embrace ourselves and who we are . we need to find solitude blissful, after all we are the ones who got our back . if we hate to be with ourselves ,then we hate the life we are part of . This leads to low self esteem and need for someone in your life constantly . This leads you feeling you are lonely and miserable . 

“self love“ is the new social media and branding motto , yet we ape others to fit in . We need to love ourselves the way we are only then can  we be happy in our life .After all , who can love me more than I do .

By Navamika Ragesh