Detective Richard - By Monika Rennick

Written By: Monika Rennick

Category: Play Script

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

Monika Rennick presents her captivating play script, "Detective Richard," as part of the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. Entering the realm of Creative Writing, Rennick's work invites readers into an audition room where the lines between reality and the fantastical blur. Set against the backdrop of a casting call for a beloved film franchise, the script explores themes of ambition, identity, and the unexpected twists life can take. The competition, hosted by Hashtag Kalakar, showcases global talents in a celebration of literary creativity.

About the Work

"Detective Richard" is a play script that playfully intertwines humor and the supernatural with the stark reality of ambition in the film industry. Monika Rennick crafts a world where vampires and aspiring actors collide, exploring the sacrifices one might make for a coveted role. The narrative unfolds with witty dialogue and a keen sense of irony, as characters navigate the complexities of identity and fame. Rennick's use of vivid imagery and dynamic character interactions brings the script to life, leaving readers questioning the boundaries of success and self-discovery.

Detective Richard

Original Submission by Monika Rennick

DETECTIVE RICHARD*

Written by Monika Rennick

Draft 4: July 6, 2026

*Note: “Richard” is pronounced as an Anglicized version of the French surname; pronounced as I imagined it, it rhymes with “fish-hard.”

Cast of Characters:

BARBARA: 20-something, auditioning for the role of Detective Richard. (Human.) MEGHAN: 40-something, publicist, focused. (Human.)

DAVID: Age unclear, former actor and current studio exec. A little silly. (Vampire.) MICHAEL: Age unclear, former actor and current studio exec. Grumpy. (Vampire.)

Place

Some audition room.

Time

1

Whenever.

Setting: One table. Three chairs behind it. One chair in front of it.

At Rise: Barbara is sitting on the single chair, nervous.

BARBARA: (cheery) Hey, it’s so nice to meet you! I’m Barbara. Ugh.

(serious) Hello, it’s lovely to meet you. My name is Barbara. Gah.

(manic) Hello! Nice -

She cuts herself off as DAVID bursts through the door. He’s wearing sunglasses and a sweater vest and a smile.

DAVID: Darling! Hello!

As he speaks, Meghan enters, holding a briefcase. Michael trails behind her, wearing sunglasses and a flannel and a disgruntled expression.

MEGHAN: Hi, thanks for being punctual. This is David and this is Michael. They’re part of the casting department for the film.

BARBARA: Hi! Yeah, of course! Wow! It's a pleasure to meet you all. I'm Bar - MICHAEL: We know who you are.

BARBARA: Right. Obviously. Sorry.

DAVID: Don’t be, doll!

MEGHAN: It's nice to finally meet you, Barbara. I'm Meghan, and I'm in charge of the studio's media relations.

BARBARA: Whoa. The studio?

MEGHAN: Yes, the studio, as in LeBlanc studios, as in the home of Detective Richard’s IP and the biggest film studio in New Brunswick, which as you know is really saying something.

Barbara takes this in.

Let's have a seat, yes?

2

There is a brief spat over chairs. David and Michael hiss at one another, mortifying Meghan.

MEGHAN: (whispering furiously) At least try to keep it professional in front of the kid! Barbara politely avoids everyone's gaze. David clears his throat.

DAVID: Okay, Barbie. Tell us a bit about yourself.

BARBARA: I prefer Barbara, if that’s okay. Uh, are we doing a reading, or...

MEGHAN: We’ve seen your self tape and your Instagram and your YouTube, dear. You wouldn't be here if we didn't think you had what it takes. In terms of acting.

BARBARA: Right, right. Thank -

DAVID: But then after acting comes the whole hairy business of personality! MICHAEL: Uh-huh. Thanks a million, David.

DAVID: Sourpuss. I’m trying to keep poor Barbie here abreast of the situation. BARBARA: I prefer Barbara.

MICHAEL: And don’t say “abreast.”

DAVID: A fella can’t flap his gums?

MICHAEL: (to Meghan, frustrated): I told Frank he was pointless here. If he uses one more of those grody idioms, I swear I’m gonna -

BARBARA: Frank?

MEGHAN: Frank LeBlanc. He’s head of the studio, which means we do what he says and we don’t act like children.

Michael and David look suitably abashed. Meghan is satisfied and continues. Listen, Barbie, what we want to know is -

3

BARBARA: Oh, I really prefer Barbara. If that's okay.

MEGHAN: Right. Sorry.

DAVID: Barbara.

BARBARA: That’s my name.

MICHAEL: Why are you here and auditioning for the role, Barbara?

BARBARA: I’m here because I’m a huge fan of Detective Richard, and I saw the casting call on Facebook and it was so exciting to imagine getting a chance to play him, so I sent in my self tape and now -

MICHAEL: Why do you want to play this character?

BARBARA: Well, I mean, it’s an iconic role, and -

MICHAEL: Yeah. We know.

DAVID: There aren’t any roles more iconic than Detective Jean Richard, creation of famed New Brunswick novelist Frank LeBlanc.

MEGHAN: There certainly aren’t. This is a universally beloved character, the one that really put New Brunswick on the map. England has Sherlock Holmes and colonialism. PEI has Anne Shirley and potatoes. And us? New Brunswick? We have Detective Jean Richard. And the world’s largest axe.

BARBARA: Oh, we do have the world’s largest axe! I forgot!

MICHAEL: Yes, you forgot, because when people think about New Brunswick they think about the detective at the expense of all else! So we know that he’s iconic. We know he’s a deep and beloved character anyone would be lucky to play. What we want to know is why did you, yourself, specifically, respond to our casting call for the first female Richard?

BARBARA: Um. Wow. Huge question.

DAVID: You bet it is, dollface. Without Detective Jean Richard, New Brunswick might not even be one of Canada's leading provinces in filmmaking and tourism. Can you imagine?

4

They all laugh at this ridiculous impossibility.

MICHAEL: Why do you deserve a place as part of the vast acting pantheon that has portrayed this compelling and famous detective who has been frequently placed on par with James Bond in terms of film count and cultural impact? I'm not asking why you want it. Everyone wants it. Why do you deserve it, Barb?

BARBARA: I prefer Barbara. But, um. Yeah. Wow. Well, I grew up with Detective Richard. My dad is, like, a mega-fan. He loves Richard. And obviously there are a ton of Detective Richard movies, but I’ve always been partial to… When I was a kid, my dad used to show me the ones from the 40s. Those black and white ones, starring David MacDonald?

DAVID: Yes. We’re familiar.

BARBARA: Right, of course. They’re my dad’s favourite. And who can blame him? David MacDonald’s performance was mind-blowing.

MICHAEL: That seems a little excessive.

DAVID: Really? I quite liked it, personally.

MICHAEL: It was good, but too sappy.

BARBARA: It’s the sappiness that I love, I think! There’s so much pathos. He's utterly human in those movies. I remember watching the third one, the one with the giant lobster? I remember watching that for the first time and thinking, “wow. Everything is lost, but he’s still trying.” He's so determined not to give up as long as he’s still breathing. I was only 8 or 9, but I really took a lesson from that. Like, I decided that when I cared about something, I wouldn't let anything stop me, either.

DAVID: Well, that’s wonderful. That’s what film is all about, isn’t it? Teaching lessons and inspiring the youth? I’m sure David MacDonald would have loved to hear that.

MICHAEL: Right.

MEGHAN: Oh, boy. Let’s - I like you, Barbie, so I feel the need to tell you that while that's not a bad answer, it's not a great one, either. I think Michael was looking for more of a… Give us something else, okay? Where do you feel a, uh, a kinship with Detective Richard?

5

BARBARA: My name… never mind. Um, right. Kinship. Okay, well, Jean is pretty rough around the edges, especially in that other version from the 90’s, with Michael Levesque?

MICHAEL: Sure.

BARBARA: Okay, so the Levesque Richard of him is so brash. And the alcoholism is pretty intense even if it makes sense for the region. But that Richard - even though he’s so imperfect -

MICHAEL: Jesus, tell us how you really feel.

BARBARA: Oh - sorry.

MICHAEL: Don’t be. Honesty is what we’re looking for. Besides, I don’t disagree. Levesque certainly could have had more - what’d you say before? Pathos.

BARBARA: That’s the thing, though! That version of Richard, the whole vibe of him, is that he does care. He might not be nice, but he's kind. You know what I mean? Which really lends a depth to him as a character.

DAVID: I agree completely.

MICHAEL: And you connect with that? You resonate with it?

BARBARA: I - yes. Yeah, I do. And it also feels like a deeply, uh, Maritime thing. East Coast thing. Trend. Tendency. I dunno, that sounds stupid, but I think -

MICHAEL: I know what you mean.

BARBARA: You do! Okay, great. I think that I resonate with that aspect of his character. That’s actually the version I took inspiration from - you said you looked at my YouTube channel. If you watched my really old videos, I used to make Detective Richard episodes when I was a teenager, and -

MEGHAN: We saw them.

BARBARA: Oh. What… did you think?

MICHAEL: I thought you were derivative.

DAVID: I thought you were charming!

6

MEGHAN: I thought you had a great subscriber count.

BARBARA: Well, I tried to lean into that side of him. The rough but thoughtful thing. MICHAEL: You liked that take a lot, eh?

BARBARA: I think I do.

MICHAEL: Okay. Why? And what does that have to do with you being Detective Richard? MEGHAN: I think we’ve established, Michael, that Barbara has a connection to the role, so - MICHAEL: We’ve talked a lot about trying. (to Barbara) What do you have? BARBARA: I…

DAVID: Geez.

MICHAEL: I think it’s a fair question!

BARBARA: It’s compassion. I have compassion. And Jean is compassionate. He cares, no matter which set of films you’re watching. In every era it’s the same, and it’s always so inspiring. I mean, he's had a terrible life. Being attacked by the Dungarven Whooper as a kid, losing his parents in a freak fiddle accident, the love of his life leaving him for some artist from Quebec... You'd think that would jade him, or at least make him less likely to see the good in people, but it doesn't. It just leaves him totally empathetic and understanding. I really, really admire that. And my life hasn’t been that difficult, but I think I share some of those, uh, caring and kind qualities.

DAVID: Now we're cooking with gas! That’s gotta be good enough, right, Mikey? MICHAEL: I guess I’ll take it.

MEGHAN: Excellent. Listen, Barb, we've been tiptoing around this, but let's just pull off the kid gloves: there's never been a woman Detective Richard.

BARBARA: Yes! Yes. Definitely. I am keenly aware of that. I'm really hoping to... I don't know. Be for the little girls out there the kind of role model that Jean Richard was for me except, like, a woman. I always wanted to be Jean when my brothers and I played Detective Richard, and I always got told - accurately, to be fair - that he was a man. I'm very excited about the possibility of changing that while remaining true to this character that is so rich and beloved.

7

MICHAEL, DAVID, and MEGHAN: Hmph.

BARBARA: Oh. Oh no. Was that not -

MEGHAN: It's… well, let's put it this way. Frank is pretty set on the idea that if we're going to have a woman Richard, she's going to be, you know. Womanly.

BARBARA: Oh!

MICHAEL: It's kind of a dealbreaker.

BARBARA: Womanly.

DAVID: Right. Traditionally womanly.

MICHAEL: So if you're going to be a feminist about it, if you want Richard to keep the, you know, taking names and kicking ass brand, this is not the role for you.

BARBARA: Oh.

DAVID: But you probably can handle that, right? Look at her, she's so sweet, she'd fit it perfectly.

BARBARA: Thank… what?

MICHAEL: How are you feeling about that, Barbie? Do you still want to play Richard, or is it less appealing if you have to compromise?

MEGHAN: (through gritted teeth) That is quite a pointed question, Michael. MICHAEL: No sense in stretching this out.

BARBARA: I don’t… I really want to play him. Her. Them. Richard. I really want the part. Even if it doesn't look like what I… Even if it's a little different than I expected.

Meghan nods, enthused. David smiles, pleased. Michael is ambivalent.

MICHAEL: And the other thing? What about the other thing?

DAVID: Are we ready for that?

8

MEGHAN: No time like the present, I suppose.

BARBARA: Other… thing?

MEGHAN: Oh, boy. Listen, love -

MICHAEL: The thing is, Barb, that when you take on this role, you have to make sacrifices. BARBARA: Right. Of course.

MICHAEL: The kind of sacrifices that leave your life totally different than when you started.

BARBARA: I understand that. I mean, after he played this role Donald Sutherland was never able to go to Saint John again without a security detail. Isn't that crazy? Going to see your nan and you have to take some guy with sunglasses? Can you imagine?

MICHAEL: (tortured) Easily.

BARBARA: Uh… huh. The point is, I get it. I'm prepared to - this would change my life. So I'm ready. Yeah. I'm ready.

MICHAEL: You think you are.

MEGHAN: Mike…

DAVID: It's easy to imagine winning the war when you haven't even started the battle. BARBARA: Okay, what? You guys are saying some cryptic sh -

MEGHAN: Barbara. Listen.

BARBARA: I have been. I am.

MEGHAN: Do you want this?

BARBARA: Yes, of course.

MICHAEL: But do you want everything? All the gore and guts that come with?

9

BARBARA: If it's a metaphor, absolutely.

DAVID: What if it's… not. Not a metaphor.

BARBARA: What?

MEGHAN: Okay, guys. Take the glamour off.

Michael and David remove their sunglasses, unveiling their true faces - or trying to. Something goes wrong.

BARBARA: Oh… kay? What glamour? What’s happening?

MICHAEL: Oh, damn it. Great job, Dave. Now we look like morons.

DAVID: It’s a tricky process, doing the reveal! I’m sorry, Barbie, that was anticlimactic. Let me try again. Here, turn around.

He bullies Michael into turning around.

BARBARA: Is this a joke? A prank? Do you actually work for LeBlanc studios? MEGHAN: (tired) We very much do.

DAVID: We’re building up a reveal. Meg, give us a drum roll.

Meghan taps the world's most lackluster drum roll on the tabletop.

And - now!

David and Michael whirl around, David with more passion than Michael. They have fangs.

Ta da!

BARBARA: OH MY GOD!

DAVID: That’s right, kiddo.

10

BARBARA: MICHAEL LEVESQUE! DAVID MACDONALD! OH MY GOD! I can’t believe this! I can’t believe it. I have to get a picture for my dad. I can’t - you’re standing in front of me! Alive and… well.

She frowns, several realizations striking her at once.

Hang on. Aren’t you - what? What about your tragic young deaths? My dad was totally crushed when Michael Levesque kicked it. There’s a picture in our photo album of him with a burning fiddlehead in his honour. And David… David was dead before Dad was even born. He was always miserable about the fact that he never got to meet you. But… he could have? You’re not dead? You’re alive?

DAVID: In a manner of speaking.

BARBARA: I don’t… What does that even mean?

MICHAEL: (tapping his fangs) It’s not rocket science. Use context clues. BARBARA: VAMPIRES?

MICHAEL: Friggin’ finally.

BARBARA: Okay. Okay! Okay. So you’re… so you faked your deaths.

DAVID: That’s all dull. Totally lacking in panache. What we’re trying to get you to understand, Barbara, is that you want what we have.

BARBARA: I don’t know if I do. I mean, this is…

MICHAEL: I knew we were wasting everyone’s time! If you don’t want to take the opportunity of a lifetime, Barb, that’s your problem.

MEGHAN: You two are useless at this. Listen, honey -

BARBARA: I have to go. I have to -

She starts toward the exit. Michael snarls and floats out of his chair.

MICHAEL: I knew it was a mistake, picking you!

11

MEGHAN: Oh, no no no. Michael, calm down. And you, I wouldn't - just hang on a second, okay, sweetie?

BARBARA: Please do not call me sweetie.

MEGHAN: Right, sorry. Barb.

BARBARA: MY NAME IS BARBARA!

DAVID: (admiring) Ah, feminine hysteria. Classic.

MEGHAN: Right. Barbara. I'm sorry. Can we talk about this? Please? Talk it out?

BARBARA: (eyeing Michael, who is hovering) Okay. Sure. But you have to tell me what he meant by “picking me.”

MEGHAN: Right. Of course. I’d be curious too.

She glares at Michael. Barbara returns to her seat.

You’re familiar with the name Frank LeBlanc, yes?

BARBARA: The dead famous novelist or the live current owner of LeBlanc studios? Michael, David, and Meghan wait for her to get it.

Wait… wait. You're not saying that they're the same person. That can't… no. MEGHAN: It can. It is. And -

BARBARA: Frank LeBlanc is still alive through vampirism. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to faint.

MICHAEL: Please don’t do either of those things.

DAVID: Pull it together, kiddo. This is all part of the deal.

Barbara is panicking a little. Vampires? Actors? Deal? What does it all mean? Meghan leans in, trying to catch her eye and calm her down.

12

MEGHAN: Barbara, Frank LeBlanc was turned during the war of 1812, when everyone was burning the White House.

BARBARA: The war of 1812?

MEGHAN: That war happened for a lot of reasons, and one of the lesser known ones was vampires. That’s… we don’t have time for a history lesson. Frank was there, Frank was holding a match, and he got turned into a vampire for his trouble. And then he decided to use his newfound immortality to build an empire.

DAVID: A vampire empire. A vempire!

MICHAEL: Oh my God, you’re insufferable.

MEGHAN: Frank decided to invent a character so charismatic and compelling that the world would have no choice but to love him, and the result was Detective Richard. The books became instant classics, and once motion pictures were invented he decided to go into that business, too. And he saw a unique opportunity in this industry: he could use each actor as a collaborator, apply their wisdom and experience to ensure that each new Richard iteration was better and more human than the last.

DAVID: I was just a young foolish actor from Fredericton, and Frank offered me not only fame and fortune but immortality. I have to confess, I was taken with the idea of living forever… floating on the river of time… watching the centuries turn… It really is lovely, Barbie.

MICHAEL: We've seen one century turn, you idiot.

DAVID: And it was magnificent.

BARBARA: I don't… why are you telling me this? Stop telling me this.

MICHAEL: We’d love to, but if you want the role -

BARBARA: I do. I really do.

MICHAEL: No shit, you do. Do you think we’d come all the way to the North Side just for an audition?

BARBARA: Wait… what?

13

MEGHAN: Frank has been watching your videos for a while, Barbara. That ad on Facebook? We put it there.

BARBARA: What?

MEGHAN: We invited you to this room on purpose, Barbara. We want you here. BARBARA: I…

DAVID: You’re special. We want you.

MICHAEL: And you want us. But to have us, there are certain… steps you’ve gotta take. BARBARA: Steps as in…

MICHAEL: I think you know.

He helpfully bares his fangs and hisses.

BARBARA: I have to turn into a vampire.

MICHAEL: That, and other… things.

BARBARA: What other things??

MICHAEL: Tell her about the process, David.

BARBARA: Process??

DAVID: It’s not as bad as it sounds.

BARBARA: It didn’t sound bad! Now it does, though. I’m out, I think. I’m done. DAVID: Give us a moment? Please? For the sake of your dad’s love for my films? BARBARA: (defeated) Fine. But I’m not promising anything.

DAVID: Naturally. That’s all right.

MICHAEL: What you need to understand about Frank is that he’s… an artist.

14

BARBARA: I thought you said he was building an empire. Wouldn’t that make him, like, a business mogul?

DAVID: He has business savvy, it’s true, but he also has vision. Besides, he’s never wanted to be a lone genius responsible for greatness.

MEGHAN: He’s a natural collaborator.

DAVID: Precisely.

BARBARA: Okay.

MICHAEL: Collaborating can be an extraordinary thing when one of you is a vampire. BARBARA: One? I thought both of us were going to be -

MICHAEL: Funny thing about blood, it holds a lot of you in it, you know? Your personality, thoughts. Genetics. Whatever. The point is that it stops doing that once you’re turned. So while you’re in the role -

DAVID: It’s important for a filmmaker to achieve a certain level of synergy with their lead actor, and for Frank that means, uh… Tasting. Regular tasting. It’s just every once in a while, but obviously you have to be human, because vampire blood to other vampires is -

MICHAEL: Disgusting.

DAVID: Right. So you stay human, let Frank build a stronger and stronger connection between you and himself through -

BARBARA: (nauseous) No. No. I'm not doing that.

DAVID: It’s not really so bad. When I started, he hadn’t even fine-tuned the process. These days it’s practically painless!

BARBARA: No. No way.

MEGHAN: Oh, honey.

BARBARA: No, no. I'm not interested in... I don't…

15

MEGHAN: It's hard to handle, right? How bad you want to be a part of this, even though there are some inconveniences?

BARBARA: Inconveniences?? Meghan. I don't want - it's my dad's birthday today. I skipped his party to be here!

DAVID: How old is he?

BARBARA: Uh, 50. Turning 50.

MICHAEL: Oh, shit. The half century. Big deal. You’ve already skipped it, Barb. MEGHAN: Michael!

MICHAEL: What?

BARBARA: Yes, I skipped it for this, because it seemed worth a shot and it’s his favourite franchise of all time, you know? He’d be so excited if I got cast as… but he didn’t know about this. I can't believe… This is insane. This is ridiculous.

MICHAEL: Come on, Barbara. Did you think it would be as simple as shaking hands and slapping on some lipstick?

DAVID: I think you know, doll, that this is what you want, even with the drawbacks.

MEGHAN: Yeah, you have to make a few sacrifices. Miss out on some aspects of life, like cross necklaces and the sun. But this is your shot. It’s a chance to distinguish yourself from the crowd. Do you know how many people get that chance? Not many.

BARBARA: Are you a vampire?

MEGHAN: No, no. I'm just a PR manager.

BARBARA: So why are you trying to talk me into doing… it. That. What do you get out of this?

MEGHAN: Absolutely nothing. Well, except for the satisfaction of doing my job, I suppose. But believe it or not, I’m doing this for you, Barbara. We all know you're exceptional, and I want to nurture that. I want you to take your chance and find success.

16

BARBARA: Success.

MEGHAN: Yes, success. You’ll get everything you ever wanted. The role of a lifetime - BARBARA: But I have to get sucked on while it’s happening!

MEGHAN: Money, Barbara. You can set your family up for life. You think your dad will care that you missed his birthday when you can buy him a brand new wheeler?

BARBARA: He's more of a truck guy.

MEGHAN: Then you can get him one of those, too.

BARBARA: I… There are other ways to make money.

MICHAEL: Yeah, and none of them will feel like this.

BARBARA: I mean, I heard they were rebooting that Margaret Atwood novel, so -

MICHAEL: I wasn’t exaggerating. Detective Richard towers over all other roles you could ever play. He - she - it's just such a compelling and beloved cinematic figure that there's no point in even considering any other roles. This is the greatest thing you will ever do in your life. Take it from me.

BARBARA: But -

DAVID: Barbara. There are always going to be unknowns. Which would you rather live without knowing? What the rest of your natural life could be, or what you could be? Only one option comes with the promise of prosperity. What do you really want?

BARBARA: I’m still… There’s clearly a right answer here. I should leave. DAVID: Yeah, maybe.

BARBARA: But … this is what I want. Of course it is. Of course I want this. I want to be Detective Richard, even if she's a housewife or whatever. It’s just… A vampire? I have to be a vampire?

MICHAEL: Yes.

MEGHAN: But not right away! It’s actually better when it’s not right away!

17

BARBARA: So Frank can do the blood thing.

MEGHAN: We can talk about that later. Right now all you have to decide is whether it's worth it. BARBARA: (to David and Michael) And you think it's worth it? All the…

DAVID: Oh, certainly. I'm having a grand old time. Don’t even miss the sun. I always burned easily anyway.

BARBARA: And you don’t ever wish you’d chosen differently?

MICHAEL: Why waste time thinking about hypotheticals?

Barbara nods slowly.

BARBARA: That’s what I thought. How can it possibly be worth it? I’m trading… I’m trading myself!

MICHAEL: You’re being dramatic.

MEGHAN: We really need you to make a choice, dear.

MICHAEL: Do you want to be just a kid from Detective Richard’s hometown, or do you want to be Detective Richard?

BARBARA: I…

MEGHAN: It's up to you, Barbara. If you agree to the terms, you become a part of cinematic history, with guaranteed wealth and fame and general success. If you say no, you get to go home and tell your dad happy birthday. I know which one I’d pick, but it’s your life.

BARBARA: If I say yes, what happens? Like, practically.

MEGHAN: (eagerly proffering a contract) Well, first you sign this paper, and then we go get in the car.

BARBARA: Just like that?

MEGHAN: Just like that.

18

BARBARA: Okay. And when you say “the car…”

MEGHAN: Why don’t we worry about that once we get there?

BARBARA: I…

MICHAEL: You should do it.

BARBARA: You’re just saying that because you want me to join your vampire cult. MICHAEL: It’s called a coven.

DAVID: He’s saying it because he means it. We all do. You love this character, Barbara. You would bring a passion to the collective that would be greatly appreciated.

MEGHAN: Also you’d bring your internet following, which would be nice. But we don’t have time, Barbara. If you’re going to turn us down then we have to get going to the next meeting, find someone who is okay with all our stipulations.

BARBARA: Okay. I'll sign the paper.

Everyone is surprised by this, including Barbara, but she doesn’t take it back. She accepts the contract from Meghan, thinks about reading it over, and then signs it sloppily without bothering to look at the text.

There.

She hands the contract back to Meghan. Meghan is thrilled.

MEGHAN: I think you made a really great choice, Barbara. Or should I call you Detective Richard?

BARBARA: I can’t believe this is happening.

MICHAEL: Believe it.

DAVID: Nicely done, Barbie.

MEGHAN: Yes, definitely. And now let's get out there. Don’t want to keep Frank waiting.

19

Michael, David, and Meghan all shiver minutely. Barbara understands suddenly and too late.

BARBARA: (dreading) Frank is… in the car?

MEGHAN: Yes, he is. Didn’t we say?

BARBARA: No. Not really.

MEGHAN: Well, don’t worry about it. He’ll love you.

BARBARA: I… oh.

MEGHAN: It’ll only seem scary. It’s because you don’t know him. You’ll get used to it. You’ll get used to everything. Don’t worry. All right! You have everything you need?

BARBARA: I thought… do I need an overnight bag or something? Because I was only here for.. Frank is in the car?

MICHAEL: (rolling his eyes) Yes, Frank is in the car.

BARBARA: Okay.

MEGHAN: And he is very excited to meet you, so let’s get a move on, yeah? BARBARA: Yeah, sorry, I just - can I just have a minute?

MEGHAN: A minute?

BARBARA: Please. Just a minute, to myself, to… to process.

DAVID: Poor thing. This is quite a lot, Barbie, isn’t it? Do you need some air? Here, step over by the window.

MICHAEL: There’s a window in here?

MEGHAN: We made sure it was curtained. Do you think I’d have let you in here if there was a sunlight risk?

MICHAEL: I think you don’t have to worry about permanent disfiguration due to sunlight.

20

BARBARA: Oh, God. Permanent disfiguration?

MEGHAN: Only if you’re out in it for long enough.

BARBARA: That’s not… not the problem. I just - I need a minute. Alone. Please.

MEGHAN: (sighs) All right. One minute, okay? If you’re not out that door in sixty seconds then someone is coming back in after you.

BARBARA: Understood.

MEGHAN: All right.

She exits.

MICHAEL: Welcome to the team.

BARBARA: Uh…

MICHAEL: Don’t screw this up.

He exits.

David lingers, watching Barbara.

BARBARA: I’ll be right out. Honestly.

DAVID: I’m sorry you missed your father’s birthday.

BARBARA: Thanks.

DAVID: I doubt very much that you’ll regret it. And even if you do… You’re joining a great crew.

BARBARA: Yeah.

DAVID: Don’t… don’t forget to take some air if you need it, all right?

They both look towards the window, which looms invitingly.

21

BARBARA: Right.

DAVID: We’ll be in the car.

BARBARA: See you in a minute.

He smiles at her and exits.

Barbara lingers center stage. She looks at the window. She looks after the vampires, who have left the door open. She takes a step towards the window, wavers, takes a step toward the door.

BARBARA: (muttering) Hi there, Frank. My name is Barbara.

(shouting) Hi, Frank! Barbara here!

She presses her fingers to her incisors and squeezes her eyes shut. Then she drops one arm to her side and extends the other, as if for a handshake.

(normal volume, cheery) Hey, Frank! I’m Barbie!

CURTAIN/END

About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar is a prestigious platform celebrating diverse voices in literature. It encourages participants worldwide to showcase their talents in poetry, short stories, essays, and creative writing. This competition honors originality, creativity, and the power of words, providing writers an opportunity to share their unique perspectives on a global stage. As part of this celebration of artistic expression, Monika Rennick's "Detective Richard" stands as a testament to the imaginative possibilities within the realm of creative writing.

Thank you, Monika Rennick, for sharing your imaginative play script, "Detective Richard," with us. Your participation in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 has brought a unique and vibrant narrative to light. We appreciate the creativity and thought-provoking themes you've explored, leaving an indelible mark on the rich tapestry of storytelling. We look forward to seeing more of your creative endeavors in the future.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.