Deserve

By Sharanya S Rao

A really simple word, yet so complex in its truth. We often seem to thoughtlessly throw it around hither and thither along with a sentence or two. But when we take a step back and really think about it for a moment, we come to realize the unmeasurable weight it carries, makes it seem quite colossal for a seven-letter word. How it has the power to just decide one’s worth, one’s capacity, one’s situations and justify their befalling on oneself. It seems unfair if you come to think of it; how much power is borne by a word, which centuries ago when unestablished, was just gibberish. Here it is now in all its glory, a silent storm in my opinion, rummaging disorder in our minds then at last the final blow of destruction- judgement.

“They don’t truly deserve…” capable of passing into oblivion one’s lifetime of hard work in the eyes of another; “such a kind soul, didn’t deserve…” in defense of those we favour, justification of one’s actions; “It is well deserved...”

congratulating one for their accomplishment or reprimanding and condemning one for their circumstances. How it shape-shifts here and about, and slips by silently, right in between all the commotion. But it is we who let it be so.

What goes through one’s mind when they so casually use it to decide another’s worth? Does one deem oneself superior to the rest to give oneself the authority to rank the rest, to validate them, to arbitrate and determine their worth? Could it be a shield? As strong as that of Hercules’- their only means to hide from the world the feeble and miniscule mind lying within. Or could it be rage? The devious black snake - laying asleep, deep within each one of us; untamed in the weak, awakened by the scent of conflict, rampaging about and fogging our minds with its venom. Or could it be ego? Making one see the world as a mirror; oneself being the only reflection to be seen. Or could it be incompetence? The lethargic hyena - looking for ways to feed off of another’s demise rather than endeavoring to rise.

Whichever it is, the similarity in them all is that they bind and mislead us, hindering our development. While they manifest themselves in our minds, we are unable to acknowledge our true selves. One who wishes to walk the path of self-growth attempts to rid themselves of such hinderances that make them judge another instead of working for the growth of oneself. Whether or not we deserve to be where we are and to have what we do will remain an opinion that differs accordingly with perspective. But what matters is that we strive to grow, learn to love ourselves, and acknowledge ourselves for who we truly are. If we are deserving or not of the joys and sorrows that befall us is a question that we ourselves alone can answer only when we have accepted our true self. The validation that another’s words give us, though momentarily comforting will remain but deceptive, for they will have not walked the same path as us.

By Sharanya S Rao