Dear Younger Me,

By Sruthi Nambiar

To: 

The Past, 

Bedroom 

From:  

The Present, 

Bedroom 

Dear Younger Me, 

Hello. Hi. It is me - you. It is you from the future. At this exact moment, you are freezing. You  hate being cold, but you are happy. You are on a vacation with people who love you. You are also  looking forward to seeing your best friend soon. At this moment you do not know what is  coming. You do not know that, in a few short months, you have to leave your home behind. 

It will take you four long years to return. Right now, I am in the space you created. Years have  passed, but this is still your room. Your presence here is strong. I can feel you here with me. You  are here, in your room. I am alive, but you still haunt this room. 

All these years, I felt like a part of me was missing. I was not wrong. You were missing. I left you  here. I left you among the things we carefully chose. I purposefully left you here, thinking I would  be back soon. Till now, you have wandered this place, haunting the people left behind. I am sorry  that it took me so long to return. 

Our father is a haunted man. Despite the four years we were not here, the details in our room are  unchanged. In my mind's eye, I see him entering our room but leaving the details untouched. The  bed and table may have shifted position, but the details remain where I left them. I wonder if our  

absence was painful to him. There are pencil shavings in a jar. Two others still have the water I  poured in for my watercolours. That hurts the most. He did not even throw the water out. 

He said he was waiting for us to come home. 

The jars are not the only sign of you. I see the files you made, filled with little knick-knacks you  collected over the years. I spy the origami stars you spent countless hours folding. I notice the  books and stories that I left behind. 

Your favourite dresses still hang in the cupboard, my favourite dresses. I have been dreaming  about these dresses for months. They are covered in dust, but a quick rinse will deal with that  issue. I remember how we deliberated before we purchased these clothes. 

In a drawer, several semi-dried nail polish bottles lie scattered. They are a deep contrast to the  neat rows of perfume bottles and expired makeup. Items I left behind, thinking I would come  back soon. I was mistaken. It took me four years to return. 

Hello to the ghost that sits in my room. I am back, after so long away. It hurts seeing the person I  used-to-be spread out throughout this room.

I miss you. I have missed you deeply. I am glad to see you again. However, we cannot stay here. I  am here to pack up. A lot has changed in the intervening years. You are frozen at 25 but life has  moved on. People got older, and our living situations changed. Our father is moving out of this  house and I am here to help him pack up. When I leave, it will be for the last time. You are  coming with me. I am not leaving you behind this time. 

I love you a lot. It will be okay. 

Lots of love, 

Me

By Sruthi Nambiar