Dear Pancy

By Sriya Sreenivas

Things are not moving here as we thought before. The weather is getting much harsher day by day. I feel a kind of absolute numbness. I can withstand the weather, but I can’t tolerate the views of pupils in my class. You know I do love the gossips, but I never like to immerse my self in the trench of gossips. The people here all are interested in hot topics rather than study. The worst thing is that they are supporting a male teacher and giving him applauses like he is the savior of the world. Don’t you understand whom I mentioning. Its none other than professor Raj Binhai, the misogynist fool. You know why they like him much? its simple, he provide them extra marks while other teachers are stubborn in providing marks to assignments. I do get feeling of feeding bones to stray dogs to keep them loyal, that is the trick he is doing. Off course he is backed up by his battalions – Athena Felis and team.

I have a good news to tell you, the friendship between me and Svetlana is over . We never fought, there is no single combat of words , but we drifted apart just as you predicted. What you told was true, she deserves to be with Becca. They both are same flock birds , I am not their type. But how they are ostracizing me , I feel much , I feel loneliness prickling my very own existence. Yes I loved

Svetlana as my good friend, I defended her ever. Is it possible to feel pain free when a friendship circle is broken. Believe me I feel a kind of numbness which I can’t explain. I know you warned me about her ,since the day she refused to drop me in home when I was crawling with stomach pain. I defended her, but you know you was right. A friend in need is friend indeed.

And as usual the body shaming is continuing here as before.

My hair loss, my bulging stomach, even they found out my tooth are not aligned well. They knew im not bothering , later they will prick me with my attitude. You know me well, I’m not laughing at any ones adult jokes at any cost. I cant change my principles Pancy , but it is the worst enemy of mine.

My teacher never congratulates me on any of my achievements. I know she prejudiced me and she pampers the girls who praise her. She knows im not her type. The snow time competitions are over. She is congratulating everyone except me with heaps of praises. I am the only student who got more individual prizes than any other one. But she never considers me.

Look Pancy, I’m selfish to the core, but im also a human being who craves for consideration, appreciation. I am not going to laugh at everything which others feel funny, I am nit going to support a notion which other felt so right.

But ….i had to adhere to things I don’t like, because I am terribly afraid of ostracizing. Being with a group is the remedy.

I know you are happy there to enjoy your college days.

Convey my love to aunt and uncle

Yours lovingly Gazel

By Sriya Sreenivas