Confession

By Kelton "KC" Castillo

I pretend to be okay, while there’s a storm inside of me.

Begging God to take the pain by any means necessary.

Not knowing what to do, not knowing who to call.

I lie in bed at night, and every night the tears fall.

Feel like I’m stuck in a cycle, I’m tired of this routine,

Waking up, putting on smiles, selling hope I’ve never seen.

Telling everyone I’m good like the lie don’t cost a thing,

But the truth gets heavy when you hear your own heart scream.

I pray for peace, but doubt keeps interrupting every plea,

Faith in one hand, fear gripping the rest of me.

I ask God for a sign, but silence answers first,

Feels like I’m healing others while I’m internally hurt.

I give grace like it’s endless, like I don’t need it too,

But I’m breaking in places no one ever looks through.

I’m tired of being strong when I just want to be held,

Tired of convincing myself I’m fixing what’s failed.

Tired of carrying wounds I was never meant to heal,

Tired of pretending numb is safer than what I feel.

Tired of pouring out love with nothing left for me,

Tired of drowning in silence while I beg to be free.

Tired of praying for answers that never appear,

Tired of mistaking survival for living through fear

This isn’t weakness—this is me finally saying,

I’m not okay... and that’s the truth I’ve been praying.

By Kelton "KC" Castillo