Characterless

By Ayn Mawaddat (Zainab Shahzad)

I thought I'd found love in him

Pure and true

Breathing in his scent

I found life anew

Then one day he said

Saying this I dread

I asked him 'what'

Says we just cannot

Be together

'You and I' can't be

'WE' forever.

I asked him why

He couldn't lie

Pierced my heart

To fall apart

Showed me the door

And said no more.

I cried and cried

Couldn't decide

What wrong I did

What not I tried

Should I commit suicide?

Or just let myself aside

Month after month

When his memories would hunt

I would go places

Ridden of his traces

Wanting to start again

A life without pain

I met someone

Lively and young

With him I started over

This time a li'l slower

And as months passed

Love was glassed

With fumes of passion

Wild night session

I literally did feel

Our fate will seal

Us in these fumes together

This will be 'we forever'

Naive I was

Indeed naive I was

To not judge his past

To ensure we last

But li'l did I know

His young mind didn't grow

He judged 'ME' nevertheless

Called me characterless.

His countless relationships

His viral seduction clips

Puts him on the list of 'romantics'

Encourages his 'lust' fanatics

And all the while I indeed loved

Whether my ex or him as my beloved

He points a finger

On my character

Calling me restless

Deeming me 'characterless'

Then I moved on

Respected my own

Self worth and self esteem

No matter what they deem

I established true love

Not some wannabe lust

And if someone can't respect

My feelings and expect

Judging me is their right

Then they need to change their sight.

I found 'love' finally sure

Believing since he looked mature

His words started to build

Magic from the sense they spilled

I let him close to my heart

Touch my soul; almost every part

Only to know no matter his age

He too stands tied in a cage

That envelopes his mind

That now in all men I find

I wish I could tell them

To hell with what you condemn

It's you men who want sex

First foremost and then next

You call yourself gallant men

Your character of no contempt

And if I in love surrender to you

Long for love to be requited from you

My feelings and I are shameless

To you I am characterless

Look yourself in the mirror then

And analyse your 'character' again.

By Ayn Mawaddat (Zainab Shahzad)